Won't Let You Fall
by D1eAnotherDay
Summary: What's the result of taking an anonymous passenger aboard a starship? Tons of unanswered questions, several confused Starfleet officers, one emotionally compromised CMO, and pure craziness! McCoy/OC.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Here is the thing, guys: this is my first fanfic EVER. I usually just let stories live in my head and die after a while, but this one just didn't let me sleep until I write it down. So here we are.

I'd like to give a special thanks to JularaVon who agreed to betaread the story. You are awesome!

And another important note: the rating is M for multiple reasons, gore and violence including. So proceed with caution.

* * *

The bar was noisy, lights - dim and the music - muffled. Jim's mood was, as usual, cheerful, and his friend's attitude, as usual, grumpy.

"Come on, Bones!" Jim exclaimed, "It's gonna be so much fun!"

"Like hell," McCoy retorted, "It's gonna be a disaster, as always. And I'll have to patch you up again."

"Why do you have to be so pessimistic all the time?"

"And why do you have to be so reckless all the time?"

"It's not all the time," Jim objected, "At least seventy percent of my awesome adventures occur not because of me."

McCoy glared at his whiskey. There was no way in talking Jim out of this mission. The Doctor might as well prepare himself for a two-month journey to the faraway planet that the Federation would add to its long list of happy colonies. Jim volunteered to do the politics and therefore was going to drag them all into this uncharted territory. That new planet was pretty promising from the point of view of his current research, he had to admit. So maybe it would be at least an interesting disaster.

"Where's everybody?" McCoy asked, changing the topic. He didn't want to think about two months in space without single shore leave. Three years of their five-year mission, and he still enjoyed the solid ground much more than the endless void of the universe.

Jim was just about to make some inappropriate joke about the things that Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Scotty, and Chekov might be doing together when a vacant place in front of them was taken with a loud 'thump.'

A young woman in her middle twenties with a clear annoyance on her face scowled at the duo.

"You are Starfleet, aren't you?" she half-asked, half-stated, "And you save lives?"

"That we do," Jim beamed at her, "What service can two eager officers provide for ma'am?"

"You can save my life," she said categorically, "And buy me a drink."

Jim's smile became even wider.

"What does ma'am prefer?"

"Whiskey would be nice."

Jim waved at the bartender and McCoy took his time to study their new company.

The girl was small. He didn't see her standing, but his guess was that she would hardly reach his shoulder in the upright position. The bar's lights didn't reveal much, but even in this semi-dark room, her hair seemed like a sun, possessing an astonishing shade of ginger. It wasn't the only color there, though. At her right side, she had a strand of gray hair which was obviously not a result of some style experiments. What had happened, McCoy wondered, to put so much gray at once at this girl's head?

The head, by the way, had quite a pretty face with intent green eyes and red tempting lips. She was pale, but then again, it may be the faint lights. Also, their new acquaintance was very, extremely slim, and the doctor in him wanted to buy her a decent meal instead of alcohol. He shook his head. If the girl preferred whiskey to a steak, it wasn't his business.

Lifting his eyes from exploring her not very beefy arms clad in black gloves, McCoy saw her looking at him too. She regarded him with an unreadable expression, obviously not listening to what Jim was saying to her. A spark of amusement blinked in her eyes when she was studying him, fearlessly meeting the gaze of such an intimidating man that he was, or at least tried to look like. She held his gaze, and he almost felt that he wasn't allowed to turn away just yet.

"So?" Jim was asking while McCoy and the girl were staring at each other. She turned away and the magic disappeared.

"What 'So'?"

"I told you our names and asked what can we call you."

She gave Jim a strange look and for a second McCoy thought she'd refuse to answer. But the moment passed and with it went away a hint of insecurity in her features.

"I'm Lee," she proclaimed and drank her whiskey in one gulp.

"Haven't we met in the past?" Jim asked, "I believe we have. Your face looks so familiar."

"It must be the lights. I'd remember you if we ever met," she assured, but Jim didn't look convinced. It had to be one of his one-night stands, McCoy thought, someone had to look like the girl. For some reason, the Doctor really hoped that Lee and Jim hadn't been together like this. He shook his head again.

As it turned out, the girl was extremely elusive. Her behavior actually reminded him of Jim when the kid tried to avoid certain questions at all costs.

"This planet is complete shit," she asserted, ignoring Jim's question about her place of origins.

McCoy inwardly agreed. Tari wasn't exactly spectacular, the inhabitants were grim creatures and the city where they were currently spending their shore leave was dark and dirty.

"So why stay here?" McCoy asked, "You are obviously a human, why don't you come back to Earth?"

She shrugged.

"Earth is a piece of shit too."

As the conversation progressed it became evident that the girl was about to reveal absolutely nothing about her personal information. Even two more shots of whiskey didn't help to get her tongue loose.

She definitely knew who they were. It wasn't a surprise, giving the number of times they'd managed to save millions of lives, but this being a celebrity made McCoy rather uncomfortable, especially when she decided to call them Jim and Leo. He hadn't heard anyone calling him that for ages. This was unusual and a little bit unsettling.

Finally, the rest of their supposed party entered the bar. Lee spotted them first.

"Your friends arrived," she declared in her assertive way of speaking, "I guess it's my cue to leave."

She was right behind them in a second, standing between their seats.

"I'll join you later, guys. Thanks for the drinks," were her final words. Then she gave them both a small kiss on the cheek and vanished.

A strange warmth washed over him. How much time passed since someone young and beautiful kissed him? He couldn't even remember when his last casual affair had occurred. He must have been alone for a very long period by now, only that might explain the warmth and even slightest arousal that the proximity to this girl had caused. Or it might be his whiskey. Yeah, it was only his whiskey.

Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Scotty, and Chekov greeted them and he caught himself regretting his friends being here and the girl being somewhere in a different place. Yes, she did promise to come back, but it might be just words and she might be having fun with some guy of her age right now. No need to think about her again.

* * *

The night went on, but McCoy stopped paying attention to the conversation a long time ago. On the contrary to his earlier resolution, he couldn't just throw Lee away from his head. He thought about her extreme slimness and about the apparent lack of vitamins in her organism. He thought about her gray hair and about the mental state that caused this color to appear at her head. He just thought about her and this fact alone worried him immensely.

At this very moment, the object of his thoughts dropped on his lap.

Lee seemed to be more wasted and less reserved now, her I-take-no-bullshit attitude gone.

"Hi again," she beamed, holding him tightly. He automatically held her back, laying his hand on her too slender waist.

"Watch it, girl, I am not a couch" McCoy grumbled, accurately applying a look of annoyance on his face.

"Oh my God, this accent of yours is the sexiest thing I have ever heard," Lee stated, looking pointedly at him.

He felt his face burn.

"What?" he gaped at her, trying to look scandalized, not embarrassed.

"And you are so sexy when you're angry, has anyone ever told you that?" she added and gave him a look that sent a shiver down his spine.

"You are absolutely wasted," he finally managed to reply, pushing her slightly off of his lap.

"No, I'm just in love," was her response.

She backed up her admission with a hard kiss that took him completely off guard.

Her lips were warm and soft. They moved just in the right way to start a fire inside him that might successfully burn him alive, and for a brief moment, he desperately wanted to kiss her back.

But he was a goddamn officer of goddamn Starfleet. And it meant that he presumably shouldn't make out in front of his colleagues with a girl he barely knew. So he abruptly moved her away, trying to get her off of him.

"What the hell are you doing?" he hissed, struggling to make her change her position.

"No!" she cried out, holding him even tighter, "I don't wanna go away!"

"Probably we should call for security," Spock calmly suggested from his place across the table. McCoy glared at him, stopping his wrestling with the girl. She wasted no time and readjusted her position on him, clinging to him even tighter.

The others looked at him bewilderingly, and Jim was clearly amused. Damnit.

"No, I can handle this," McCoy barked, and the girl laughed at his words.

"You can handle me, that's an invitation."

She was smiling wickedly and it strangely made him want to kiss her even more.

But he might have looked furious because she immediately added

"Alright, alright! If I promise to behave, will you allow me to stay?"

He surprised himself by saying "I'll consider it."

"Oh, thank God," she breathed and hugged him again, hiding her face in his shoulder. He resisted the urge to hold her back.

"Well, everyone, this is Lee," Jim announced, obviously having fun with his friend's awkward situation, "She is a nice person, as you can see."

"Aye, definitely nice," Scotty said with a silly grin.

McCoy considered refusing the Chief Engineer anti-hangover hypo the next time Scott shows up at his sickbay after a night with his favorite scotch.

Speaking of the booze. He gave up on removing the girl from his lap and reached for his forgotten drink.

She chose this time to lean dangerously back.

"Doctor, watch out!" Chekov shouted and McCoy managed to catch her just a second before she collapsed on the floor.

"Oh hey," she smiled dreamily at him, "You didn't let me fall."

"Yeah, I didn't," he muttered, looking down at her. Lee's eyes were absurdly sober and so piercing that he felt himself shivering not for the first time tonight.

"And you won't?" It was almost a plea on the edge of desperation.

"No, I won't let you fall," he assured her and sensed that the promise wasn't just about her physical state.

Lee nodded and rested her head on his shoulder again, one arm around his neck, the other - on his chest, and went absolutely still.

Uhura and Spock studied her warily, but the girl seemed to freeze at her current position, and the officers resumed their talk, accurately avoiding topics that strangers shouldn't overhear.

McCoy tried to participate (it was easier now, when she was there, in his arms, not with some drunken bastard), but most of his attention was ultimately focused on the girl.

At some point, she decided that being quiet is not an option anymore and started small circular motions on his chest with her hand, murmuring some old Earth song about demons into his neck.

When she did it for the first time, he froze. Her touches were gentle and so maddening that he had to restrain himself from reacting and doing something utterly foolish.

The girl shifted a little, and he had to suppress a gasp when she hit some sensitive parts of his body. Fuck. He could order himself to behave, but he couldn't stop his body from responding to her delicate strokes.

She sang, and her breath was caressing his skin, daring him once again to be silent. God, this was torture. How long would he last if she didn't stop?

She finished the song and sighed. McCoy suddenly became very aware of the fact that he was holding her in a manner he'd held his daughter while trying to coax her to sleep. In a sense, the girl did remind him of Joanna; Lee was small like a kid.

But the girl in his arms wasn't a kid. She was a grown-up woman that constantly prompted not very innocent reactions from him. So he probably shouldn't hold her like this.

He felt stupid. He wasn't a teenager, not even close. He shouldn't have reacted like this on some drunken woman who decided to throw herself at him. And he definitely shouldn't think about the amazing feeling of her lips kissing him and how wonderful it would be to just turn her a little, lean down and experience this again.

"Just leave me somewhere on the chair," she suddenly said in a low voice, raising her head and looking at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked just as quietly so that they would be the only ones who'd hear it.

"I mean when I pass out. Just leave me there. Don't worry, I'll be fine."

His breath hitched. What made her think she'd be fine alone and asleep in some shitty bar in the middle of the night? She had to be in this position before, he concluded, someone had left her like this in the past. He didn't like this conviction at all.

"If you feel like passing out, you should probably call it a night. Let's get you an uber and take you home," he suggested.

"Nah. Don't have one."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't have a home," she clarified, "I've just got here and haven't stayed anywhere yet. I'll do it after I sleep."

Damnit. What was he supposed to do with her? He couldn't just leave her, not when he knew she had nowhere to go.

"Are you mad?" she asked before he came up with something to reply.

"Why should I be mad?"

Her lips slightly twitched.

"I kissed you. You didn't want it. I'm sorry I did it. It made you uncomfortable."

He opened his mouth to respond but she wasn't finished yet.

"You know, there were, of course, things that I wanted more than that. I wanted food, water, sleep..." She trailed off. "But all this physiological stuff aside, kissing you back then was on the top of things I have ever wanted."

This confession made him dizzy. What the hell was going on with him today? He must have drunk too much whiskey. He should stop doing that.

"Don't apologize, girl," he managed to respond when his voice came back to him, "Truth be told, it was kinda nice."

Her face lightened.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

He smiled at her and she bit her lip.

"We can do it again," she suggested earnestly.

Air left his lungs and didn't return at the mere thought of this idea. When she voiced this possibility to feel her lips on his again, he decided that kissing her is near the top of his most-wanted-things list too. God, he wanted to kiss her so badly.

"No," he said, "We can't."

Her face fell.

"You don't want it?"

"I can't, girl."

"Why?"

"Because we are sitting in front of people I'm working with. And I'm sure as hell that there is a regulation existing somewhere that forbids Starfleet officers to kiss women they hardly know."

She frowned.

"Still, you didn't answer my question. Do you want it or not?"

He closed his eyes and allowed himself a deep breath. Then he looked at the others. They were discussing God knows what and didn't pay attention to him and his unexpected acquaintance. But he didn't doubt that if he actually kissed her, it wouldn't go unnoticed. Lee waited for his reply with a pleading expression in her green eyes that reminded him of fresh forest grass, intent and _so_ intense. And he gave in to these eyes.

"Yes, I want it," he admitted.

Pure and absolute joy spread across her face.

"So let's do it!" she whispered enthusiastically, "I'll cover you, they won't see a thing."

She leaned closer, completely hiding his face with her body from the rest of the group before he could even react. Damn, she was fast in making decisions.

"Just kiss me back," she murmured against his lips and closed the distance.

The world around them ceased to exist. She wasn't as persistent as during their first kiss, taking her time and savoring every move they made. She was gentle and passionate, moving slow and deepening the kiss with every second. He lost himself immediately and soon was kissing her back hungrily, not satisfied with the pace she'd chosen. She quickly responded with all her body, feverishly exploring his mouth with her tongue. If it was indeed possible to start a fire with such simple interaction, the fire that they had built would have made the whole city burn to the ground.

He didn't care about the others anymore. He didn't care about regulations. All that mattered was the girl in his arms who was clutching at him for dear life. He caressed her cheeks, earning himself a muffled moan and fought back his own groan. Her skin under his palm was soft and warm, and... red alerts inside him suddenly burst into a frenzy. She was too warm, terribly hot, in fact. He jerked away, panting.

"Good God, girl, you are hot!" he exclaimed.

She opened her eyes, looking extremely bemused.

"You think?"

"No, I mean you've got a fever! Oh, damnit."

He lifted his eyes and met Jim's puzzled look. No, not now. He didn't have time for explaining anything yet.

His tricorder, which he always took with him wherever he went, was in motion already.

The readings made him wince. How didn't he notice? The girl was practically emitting heat, even through her clothes.

"Jim, she has 104 degrees temperature. She needs medical attention _now_."

"This is ridiculous. I feel fine," Lee stated from her now almost horizontal position.

Jim looked at him and he knew what his friend was thinking. They could call the local medics and let them deal with it. They could, but it was not going to happen.

"Come on, then," Jim said, standing, "Let's take her to the _Enterprise."_

"I'm fine," Lee insisted, trying to sit straight and move away from him.

But before McCoy had time to protest, she closed her eyes and fainted. Oh fuck.

He was on his feet right away, carrying her outside, Jim right behind him.

Well, at least this time it wasn't Jim who'd been hurt, McCoy thought absent-mindedly. Yay.


	2. Chapter 2

When five hours later McCoy exited his sickbay, he felt each and every one of the thirty-six years behind his back. He wondered when he was going to have his first gray hair. He actually considered it a miracle that he didn't have it yet, even though Jim did his best to put this color on his head.

Jim, and now this girl. He hadn't seen a case like this since the Academy when the very Jim had managed to get the same disease Lee was currently suffering from.

Orion flu was a highly predictable illness with an effective vaccine given to every kid after their thirteen birthday. Jim didn't have the vaccine because he'd been hopping across the Universe at this age. The girl didn't have the vaccine too.

And just like his friend, the girl appeared to be allergic to everything that worked well against the flu. Not everything, actually. He hit her with only one hypo and when she went into anaphylactic shock and stopped breathing after another hypo with antiallergenic medicine, he decided not to risk it. He stabilized her temperature with a simple aspirin (thank God she wasn't allergic to it too) and searched through her things in an attempt to find an ID and get an access to her medical history. He found nothing. She practically didn't have anything except her clothes, which made the second strange fact about her.

The final mystery came to the light when his nurses were changing her into a standard hospital robe. A loud gasp interrupted his evaluation of the girl's vitals. He turned around and cursed.

They only removed her gloves, but the sight was already terrifying. Their new patient didn't have nails. Someone had accurately pulled it out just recently, but the new nails were appearing again. Her fingers had signs of the tool that had done it to her, and this like hell wasn't any medical tool that he'd worked with or heard about.

Her hands were marred by scalds, and when they removed her jacket, the whole present medical personnel gasped again, staring in shock at her arms.

"Oh dear God above," he heard himself saying.

The nurse stepped back, covering her mouth, a seasonal, well-trained nurse. So he stripped Lee out of the rest of the clothes himself and took a good look at the body that fit his lap so nicely just several hours ago.

He knew such things, of course. He was Jim Kirks' physician, after all, and Jim Kirk had an adorable habit to get himself as many injuries as possible. But seeing someone young, beautiful and so fucking _small_ being wounded like this was surreal. It didn't make any sense to him.

Lee's skin practically didn't exist. Almost all her body was covered in small burns, black and neat, caused by something round. And those were not the burns people get accidentally, no, those were the types of injuries people get after someone put white-hot metal on their flesh.

He didn't have to be a genius to come to the simple conclusion: the girl was tortured. Severely, mercilessly and recently, just two or three days ago. And this was the twenty-third century, for christsake.

McCoy set a skin regenerator to work and scanned through her vital again. He recognized malnutrition at first glance, as well as overall exhaustion, and suddenly felt that he couldn't stand to be around her any longer. So he ordered them to inform him of any changes in her state and headed for Jim's quarters.

* * *

"So let's get it straight," the Captain said after McCoy drank a good portion of Jim's whiskey and told him everything, "The woman that is currently enjoying the comfort of my ship was apparently tortured, has a strange reaction to almost any medicine you are giving to her, doesn't have the necessary ID for the Federation, and we don't even know her name?"

"You've got it right."

"Well, fuck."

"Couldn't put it better myself."

McCoy sighed and voiced the thought that was extremely logical and at the same time equally unappealing, "We should have left her to the Tari medics."

"After seeing you two making out in front of my entire senior crew? No way! I couldn't take her away from you," Jim smirked.

McCoy huffed.

"I was drunk."

"Not that drunk. I know your limits and you were definitely not hitting them today. You like her, just admit it."

"I don't."

"Yes, you do."

McCoy just scowled back and kept drinking. Jim went serious.

"I really don't mind you having an affair, you know. It's gonna be good for you. But I'd prefer to know her full name, at least."

"Tell me about it."

Jim sighed.

"Just keep an eye on her, okay? We don't know who she is, maybe she's some lunatic terrorist," his friend tried to joke.

McCoy only shook his head.

"I know, Jim, I know. But for now, she isn't a threat. She almost died from fever, damnit. She isn't going anywhere anytime soon."

"She is staying, then," Jim concluded. "We'll question her, when she wakes up, and send her back to the planet if she's in good shape to go back."

At the thought of parting ways with the girl, something tightened inside him. But McCoy only nodded and drank his whiskey again.

* * *

A riot broke out at Tari the next morning. The planet didn't belong to the Federation and didn't intend to do it, so the _Enterprise's_ crew could do nothing, especially when Tari's president made it clear that if the Federation was going to interfere with their domestic policy, they would have a war on their hands. Tarians weren't Klingons, but still had pretty advanced weapons to play with, so the _Enterprise_ was forbidden to do anything at all. Jim was freaking out, of course, but even he couldn't afford to violate the Prime Directive again and repeat the shit that they had to go through after Nibiru incident.

Luckily, Jim hadn't come up with something reckless yet, when the riot was brutally suppressed. Everyone on the ship sighed in relief. The only problem was that Tari closed their borders completely and refused to let anyone but Tarians on their surface. Which made it impossible for the _Enterprise's_ crew to get rid of the civilian in their sickbay.

Lee was healing nicely but didn't come to consciousness just yet. McCoy ran all possible tests that could provide any information about her and was currently frowning at the results, not completely believing his eyes.

For starters, the list of her allergies was long, diverse and strangely resembled Jim's similar list. A full body scan revealed that almost every bone in her body was broken at least once in her life. Most of the fracture happened a long time ago, probably in her childhood. Malnutrition, a lack of several vital vitamins and overall exhaustion completed the picture. The girl was a walking medical nightmare, and he blamed himself for not acting earlier. He'd seen the signs. He'd seen it and ignored it, preferring snuggling instead of treating.

And they still didn't know her full name. Even Starfleet's databases couldn't spot any light on her identity. It was rather unsettling because Starfleet had full information about all Federation citizens and if the girl wasn't on the list, that meant she didn't belong to the Federation. At the same time, she was clearly a human, so what the hell was a human girl doing outside the Federation? God only knew.

Jim, wearing a stern look on his face, asked for a DNA test. It was forbidden to carry out without the patient's permission, but McCoy agreed with the measure. DNA would help them to find her relatives, if not her real name.

The test gave them nothing. There was no one in the Federation who could match the girl's genes.

Jim got restless. Spock got worried. Applying as much caution as possible, the Captain searched through other worlds' databases, Klingon and Romulan Empires including. Nothing again. There was no trace of this girl existing anywhere in the known universe. But she did exist, she was breathing and was going to wake up any moment now.

"Alert me the very second she awakes," Jim said, studying their guest warily, "I don't want her to come up with a nice and smooth lie. I'd like to listen to what she has to say when her brains don't function in their full capacity."

McCoy promised to notify his friend as soon as possible and sighed. What had he got himself into?

* * *

She regained consciousness on her fifth day here. He'd just finished checking her successfully healing arms' skin when he felt a sudden and very strong grip on his own arm. He suppressed a curse and met his patient's gaze.

Her eyes were wide and full of so much fear and panic that he inwardly cringed. Her disorientation lasted only for a second. She recognized him and the panic disappeared. She let go of his hand and hoarsely said, "Oh, it's just you."

Relief flooded his senses. Despite all the uncertainty of her identity, despite her being a possible danger to them all, he worried about her deeply. Whoever she was, she was still a fragile injured young girl who almost died because of this damn fever _he_ hadn't recognized when he could and because of the allergic reaction _he_ had induced in her.

He didn't let his emotions to be seen, though. Instead, he hit the comm.

"McCoy to bridge."

"Kirk here."

"She's awake, Jim," he informed, noting how tense the girl instantly became.

"On my way," the Captain replied and ended the comm.

"How are you feeling?" McCoy asked, studying her intently.

"Like shit," was a response, "Where am I?"

"The _Enterprise_."

She stared at him for good thirty seconds.

"Okay," she finally said, "What the hell happened?"

He didn't have a chance to reply as Jim and Spock entered sickbay.

"Lee," greeted the former, "Nice to see you're awake."

"Thanks, Jim," she politely answered, eyeing them with an unreadable expression and then turned back to McCoy.

"So what happened?"

He saw a slight nod from Jim and sighed. So he was the first to ask questions.

"How much of the night we were in the bar do you remember?"

"I didn't forget the best kiss I ever had, don't you worry," she smirked.

Really? He was almost ancient by now, and he still could blush? Damn her.

She took the obvious delight in seeing him embarrassed.

"You guys bought me a drink and we talked," she continued, "Then I decided to dance and left you, but came back later and kissed you. Then kissed you again. And after that, you were telling me about a fever and... I guess it was the time I passed out, right?"

McCoy did his best to push the memories of that night away and went on.

"Okay, your short-term memory is fine," he said, ignoring her question, "Let's see what happened to the long-term one. Your name?"

"Lee."

"Full name, please."

She narrowed her eyes.

"Why are you asking?"

"To check your memory, damnit!"

"My memory is fine."

"Are you a doctor?"

"No."

"So answer the question."

She kept a neutral expression on her face but didn't obey.

"I don't want to. But I assure you, I remember it."

"I guess asking you about your date and place of birth is also out of the question?"

"You're absolutely right."

"This is stupid," Jim cut in. "Just say what we already know so the Doctor could assess your condition!"

"No, you don't."

"Excuse me?"

"You don't know my name because I don't have a fucking ID. I lost it somewhere in this shitty town and now it seems a good thing," she said, rolling her eyes like all this situation seemed to her very annoying. And maybe it was.

"You are aboard the Starfleet ship. You have to answer our question, miss Lee," Spock joined the conversation. Or interrogation?

Whatever it was, Lee didn't like it.

"No, I don't have to," she replied in a very measured, emotionless tone, "Unless I'm a criminal or a suspect. But since I didn't do anything wrong, you should be content with what I'm giving you."

"And how much are you going to give us?" Jim asked with obvious irritation.

"Nothing."

"Oh for the love of God!" McCoy shouted, "I need your medical history! I can't treat you without knowing what else you are allergic to!"

She didn't even flinch at his outburst.

"I'll tell you everything you need to know about my allergies. And it's gonna be the proof that my long-term memory's intact."

All of it had been said in a flat, polite tone with a blank mask on her face. McCoy fought back a strong desire to take her shoulders and shake her until this mask falls down. His inner struggle was interrupted by Jim's next question.

"Maybe you can enlighten us why there is no information about you anywhere in the world?"

"I have no idea what are you talking about."

Well, it clearly didn't work.

"Alright. Let's leave all this name thing aside," Jim tried to approach her from the different side, "Why don't you have an Orion flu vaccine?"

"No idea. Is it what'd happened to me? Orion flu?"

"Yes. You had an Orion flu that is supposed to be prevented by a vaccine which every kid in the Federation has after the age of thirteen. So why don't you have one?"

"No idea."

"Oh my God!" McCoy exclaimed, but Jim ignored it and continued the interrogation.

"Okay, next question. Who tortured you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Good God, girl, just drop this bullshit already!" The Doctor lost his control again.

"Easy, Bones. Look, you had burns all over the body and your nails were ripped off. As far as I know, those are the signs of severe and long torture. So who did this to you?"

"No one."

"So how did you get all these injuries, then?"

"It was an accident."

"What kind of an accident?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Of course you don't," McCoy muttered and Jim shot him a warning look.

"Listen," Lee said, making her face a little bit more earnest than before, "I appreciate what you guys did for me, I really do. You saved my life, I guess, so I thank you. But I really really really don't wanna talk about any of this stuff. Just send me back to Tari so you don't have to deal with me anymore. I feel fine now, I promise. I can go back."

Jim sighed.

"We can't."

"Why's that?"

"Because you are in no condition to be beamed anywhere and because Tari closed their borders. They had a riot on their hands, so they are not ready to host parties for the outsiders just yet. So you are stuck with us until we visit the next port," Jim explained.

Lee stared at him in disbelief.

"And when will it happen?"

"In about two months."

She closed her eyes and murmured "Oh, that's just perfect."

"In the meantime, you should change your mind about not telling us anything. You will have to tell us at least your name, or we'll make you."

She opened her eyes and laughed.

"Oh really? And what would you do? Send me to the brig? Torture me? Give me a truth serum? You're bluffing. Even when I am healthy enough to put me in the brig, you still won't have a right to do it. The Federation law and all that. So no, you won't make me."

"Yes, maybe. But we still can make you stay aboard until you give us a name," Jim said softly.

She grimaced, looking instantly much more concerned. Then she said, "I don't feel right," and closed her eyes, breathing loudly.

McCoy was immediately by her side, checking her pulse and scanning through her vitals.

"Jim, we've exhausted her," he said, frowning at the data. It wasn't good.

"She'll live," Jim snorted.

Her heart rate dropped even more.

"I wanna sleep," she muttered and was out in an instant.

McCoy double-checked her stats to be sure that she was, in fact, sleeping, not fainting, and looked at Jim.

"Let's talk in your office," the Captain offered.

McCoy took one last glance at her and nodded. The trio marched to his office.

When the door slid shut, Jim confidently stated, "She is lying. Every single word from her is a lie. And the way she controls herself makes me seriously worried."

"Miss Lee indeed possesses a remarkable capability of administrating her organism's reactions during the interrogation," Spock agreed, "Her heart rate was not alerted all the time we were talking which is quite unnatural. Judging by her situation, at least some fluctuations were expected. And as the fluctuations were not present, it follows that miss Lee was constantly controlling all her senses."

"Or she is just a lying bitch who lied so many times before that her pulse doesn't even register the fact of lying anymore," Jim suggested.

McCoy inwardly cringed at his friend's characterization of his patient but didn't let his discontent be shown.

"So what are we doing now?" he asked instead.

Jim sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"Treat her, I guess, what else can we do? Maybe she's just afraid of something. Try to reassure her that we won't harm her. Listen to everything she's saying - she might let something slip. And I want to know about her condition's progress here. What she's doing, how she's responding to your treatment, everything. Submit the report every day. And let's hope that she's just a stubborn bitch, not a criminal."

McCoy promised to do that, and the Captain and the First Officer left.

Jim's request wasn't good. It meant that his friend had a bad feeling about their guest, and when Jim had a bad feeling, it usually was the first sign of a disaster coming their way.


	3. Chapter 3

She woke up eight hours later when he was in the middle of his usual evening run. Being a CMO, he was obliged to be reachable at any time of the day in case of an emergency. So when his comm buzzed, he thought about his only current patient and the probable worsening of her condition. Like there weren't other possibilities of other people being in trouble, the initial thought had to be of her, damnit. But this wasn't the right time to reflect on it.

"McCoy here," he snapped, interrupting his exercise.

"Doctor," M'Benga's voice sounded strained, "the young woman, Lee, she's awake, sir."

"Good for her. And what do I have to do with that? Did her condition worsen?"

"No," in the same strange tone the other Doctor said, "but we tried to give her the medications you've prescribed and she didn't allow us."

"What do you mean she didn't allow you?"

"Doctor, you'd better come and see her yourself."

What the fuck?

"Fine," he barked to his subordinate and ended the connection.

When five minutes later he entered his domain, the first thing he saw was an empty bed of his patient.

"Where is she?" he demanded, looking around and noting M'Benga's and two nurses' wary looks.

"Oh hey, you came," McCoy heard the girl's voice.

M'Benga gestured somewhere at the ceiling and he looked at the given direction.

There was a big cupboard in the corner of sickbay, and at the top of this cupboard, he spotted a small figure in a white patient robe, sitting cross-legged and smiling merrily at him.

"What the hell are you doing up there?" McCoy bellowed, "Get down now!"

"I can't," she replied cheerfully, ignoring his anger, "It's too high to get down."

"And how did you get on this thing?" he asked, feeling a headache forming deep inside his skull.

"She jumped from that desk," M'Benga put in.

It was about five feet between the cupboard and the desk. So she was a monkey now. Wonderful.

He approached the cupboard and looked up, meeting her amused expression.

And then she just let herself fall.

Thankfully, he stood close enough to catch her, so she landed safely into his arms. Damn, she was a grown woman. How the hell had she been so weightless?

"What the fuck are you doing?" he yelled at her, automatically holding her closer, "You almost fell on the damn floor!"

"You wouldn't let me," she simply said, "You promised."

Her words made him shudder. So she did remember everything. Including this stupid promise that implied more than he cared to admit. McCoy sighed, his anger slowly vanishing. He carried her to her biobed and gave her all the necessary hypos that she accepted without a question. She was smiling at him all the time while he was trying his best to avoid her happy beautiful face.

When he finished, he nodded to M'Benga and they walked to the CMO's office.

"Okay, fill me in."

"Well, she awoke," M'Benga reported, "saw us and didn't see you. She asked about you and I said that your shift is over and that I am her attending physician now. Chapel tried to give her that analgetic you've prescribed, but she started to scream."

"She started to do what?!"

"Scream. Not right away. She told us not to touch her or do anything to her, but when we insisted, she started to scream. I intended to sedate her, but she just hopped out of her bed, stormed to that desk and then jumped at the cupboard. That's when I commed you."

"Sweet Jesus," McCoy exhaled, rubbing his eyes and feeling once again a growing headache, "Alright, I'll talk to her. In the meantime... Just don't do anything to her. I'll treat her myself."

"Yes, sir."

He dismissed M'Benga and slumped in his chair. She was awake for less than an hour and already was causing trouble. He should have expected that. He was the first who experienced her temper, after all. And he should have known better to think everything will go smoothly with such a character. Okay, he needed to talk to her. And the approach should be gentle and accurate.

"What the fuck was that, girl?" he growled at her, trying desperately to ignore how her bright smile made her utterly stunning.

"They were trying to touch me," she announced like it explained everything, "I didn't want that, and I told them. They should have listened."

"Lee," he said, using his best authoritative tone, "They were trying to do it because I told them to. You need your medications to heal, which means you have to allow my personnel to give it to you."

"But you can do it as well," she protested, "I don't want anyone else touching me."

Oh, damn her. The thought of him and only him touching her was ridiculously tempting, but he was her doctor now, damnit. He had to stay professional.

"I can't be there all the time, girl. This is why I have additional staff - they do things when I'm not here."

"I don't trust any of them."

"But I trust them, Lee. So should you."

She shook her head, all the mirth in her gone. He missed this spark in her eyes instantly.

"No. I don't care what you think. I won't allow them anywhere near me."

Okay, that was a dead end. He made himself keep his temper in check.

"Haven't you heard what I'd already told you? You have to let them give you meds, otherwise, you miss the necessary portion and stay here longer."

"I'm fine with that."

Of course, she was.

"Look, Leo," she said, all serious now, "I see your point. But I just can't let strangers near me, it's kinda psychological thing. Do you understand?"

McCoy looked at her grass-green, astonishingly bright eyes and saw anxiety in them. He recalled the first emotions in them when she came back to reality - panic and raw fear. His gaze found the gray strand of her hair, lying loosely on her shoulder. The girl had obviously been through a lot of hardships. And besides, she did give him one of the best kisses he'd had in years. He could do this for her.

"Yes, I understand," he assured her and her face lit up. Seriously, was that even possible for the eyes to be that damn radiant? "I'll give you all meds myself. Is it fine with you?" he added, hiding the fact that he was admiring her under his usual scowl.

"Yes, thank you," she beamed at him.

He shook his head.

"Alright. As I'm already here... how do you feel?"

* * *

Her condition was okay. These earlier exercises were, of course, not very good for her current state of health, but nothing serious happened, so he just scolded her for being careless and let it go. The virus had gone completely, although the overall exhaustion was still there. It was strange, given the fact she spent almost six days in sickbay without any tiring activities. Apparently, it wasn't enough and she needed more rest. He told her that, saying once again how stupid it was to play catch-up with his staff.

She took all his bitching without a single complaint, wearing an expression of pure bliss on her face. She even allowed him to check her newly-regenerated skin, which involved taking her robe off. Surprisingly, she didn't comment on him inspecting her absolutely naked body, lying still in the private ward made for exactly such occasions.

For him, it was a serious test for his professionalism. She could be his patient now, but it didn't mean he forgot how nicely her body felt. When the horrors of the burned skin became nothing but a memory, it was easier to see how toned and fine she was. Years of practicing medicine helped him not to blush, even though it wasn't as easy with her as with his other patients.

Her skin was healing nicely, and when he finally ordered her to dress, she didn't blush either which was pretty unusual. Almost all his female patients were bright red after such an inspection, but this girl simply thanked him and slipped into her robe like nothing happened. Or maybe she just didn't care about his reaction at all? He fought these thoughts back and guided her to the general ward where he waited until she fell asleep with a happy smile on her face and finally left sickbay.

He still had some time before his actual shift started, so he came back to his quarters and tried to have some sleep.

Vain attempts. All he could think of was her. He remembered her new skin, created almost completely by the regenerator and felt hatred and anger at the mere thought of someone pressing white-hot metal on her body. Or maybe it was some chemical stuff? Damn, how painful it should have been to endure this torture. And he forgot about her nails. This had to be a hell of a torment too.

He tossed his blanket aside and stood. There was no way he was going to sleep now, so he might as well do something useful, like writing a report for Jim about Lee's trust issues.

This is why he stomped to his department once again, exasperated to an end by the fact that the girl, even fast asleep, caused him troubles.


	4. Chapter 4

Lee greeted him with her usual smile while the nurses around her were trying to have as much space between themselves and the girl's bed as possible. Well, she had clearly freaked his staff out.

"Why aren't you asleep?" he asked her, looking through her vitals. Apparently, she slept for half an hour and then was up again. This wasn't good for fighting her exhaustion.

"I don't want to," was a reply, "Actually, I'm kinda bored."

Oh, no.

"Can you give me something to do? To read, maybe? Please, give me a PADD, you should have some of them that you don't use."

"Sorry, girl," he said, loading a hypo with melatonin, which level in her blood had dropped without any clear reason, "No PADDs. You haven't healed yet."

"But I feel fine," she insisted, frowning, "I'm not going anywhere, I just want something to read."

McCoy met her eyes and saw determination. To hell with that, she wasn't in condition to do anything but rest.

"Give me a PADD, please," she repeated softly.

He raised his chin.

"No way. You should rest."

He didn't like the smile that formed on her lips (kissing them was very, very nice). A mischievous spark blinked in her eyes when she opened her so tempting lips and started to sing.

"What the hell?" he yelled, trying to outvoice her. It appeared to be surprisingly hard.

"I won't give you the damn PADD!" he roared, his infamous intimidating temper showing its presence.

She ignored him and went on. He felt his staff behind his back and knew that there was no way he'd lose this battle.

"If you don't stop, I'll sedate you," he warned.

She ignored him again, finishing one song and starting another one. He filled a hypo with a sedative that she wasn't allergic to and stood in front of her.

"The last chance to stop."

She ignored him.

He was sure that when he approached she would run, as she did with M'Benga, but she didn't even flinch. He pressed the hypo to her neck and hesitated. She sounded rather good, and if he wasn't that furious, he'd enjoyed her performance.

But his nurses watched him, waiting. And he pressed it.

The silence that fell a second after was highly uncomfortable. He looked down at her still form and regretted doing this to her.

"Keep both eyes on her," he ordered and headed for his office. He had a report to write.

* * *

The sedative lasted three hours, and then she opened her eyes again.

He was busy, fixing up an ensign from the Engineering who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and got himself knocked out with a huge pipe.

"I want a PADD," he heard right in the middle of closing the ensign's cuts.

"Oh, crap," McCoy murmured under his breath.

"I know you've heard me. I want a PADD, I'm bored."

"No PADDs," he barked without looking at her.

So she started her singing again.

His patience lasted for about ten seconds, and then he stormed to her.

"Is this some kind of a game for you?" he yelled, "This is your fucking health. You are in no condition to do anything energy-consuming and you are not getting the damn PADD, so just stop."

Of course, she didn't stop.

He loaded another hypo and pressed it to her neck. She didn't back off, letting him do it without a fight again. The hypo hissed, and sickbay went silent. He looked at the bewildered ensign and decided that enough is enough.

"Nurse Cardy, finish this," he ordered, "I'll be in my office."

Without paying attention to the obligatory 'Yes, sir,' McCoy strode out of this hell.

He felt exhausted. This girl practically sucked every bit of energy out of him, and he didn't have a chance to sleep properly for almost a day. So he collapsed on his couch and was asleep in a heartbeat.

Surprisingly, it wasn't the girl who interrupted his rest this time. The buzz of his comm. awakened him, and he was informed that Jim had read McCoy's report and wanted to discuss it. He groaned and raised at his feet. The kid better have something important to say.

* * *

The bridge was blissfully quiet, even with Jim sitting in his chair and making an occasional joke. No crazy women on the cupboards. No unreasonable requests. And no singing.

"Have I read this correctly?" Jim asked with an amused grin, waving a PADD in front of McCoy's face, "Did this girl really sing to make you do what she wants?"

"Twice," he said grimly, "I sedated her both times."

"Oh God, I might actually like her. Never thought of this way of dealing with you. Will have to keep this in mind."

The doctor grimaced.

"I seriously don't know what to do with her. I can't just knock her out every time she wakes up. First of all, she can develop a new allergy. Second, she can develop tolerance as well, and then God only knows how I'll treat her because this is the only sedative I have that she isn't allergic to."

"Just give her the damn PADD. She'll calm down and everything will be fine again."

McCoy's harsh answer was already on his lips when Jim's comm. chimed.

"Sickbay to bridge," the head nurse's voice was almost muffled with the Federation anthem, "Captain, is Doctor McCoy with you?"

"Yes, he's here," Jim replied, fighting back a laugh, "He'll join you in no time."

McCoy was already running to his department with Jim at his heels. The kid clearly didn't want to miss the show. Damn him.

He entered the hell that previously was his sickbay and assessed the situation.

The devil that had a pretty face and called herself Lee was again on the cupboard. Apparently, the acoustic up here was better, because her voice sounded louder and richer.

"Lee!" McCoy howled, pacing towards the cupboard. He would probably remove this damn thing away from here, "Get your ass down there!"

She obliged in her special manner and jumped right into his arms. The girl stopped her singing only for a couple of seconds while falling and then resumed it again.

He carried her to bed and resisted the urge to throw her to the bed just to make her stop. Or kiss her, which would also do the job.

"Shut up!" he bellowed when she was comfortably resting again.

"Make me," she smirked and went on.

McCoy loaded the third hypo and stood in front of her, not bothering to hide white-hot anger that was tearing him up inside. He looked into her eyes and saw the same determination, but this time there was something else. It wasn't even fear, it was just readiness for everything that he would do to her.

She trusted him. She fucking trusted him and let him do whatever he wished to her. He knew she would allow him this hypo, and then the fourth, and another one too. This would ruin her nervous system, but she would let him do it anyway.

Because he said he won't let her fall.

He couldn't do this. Not to her. Not when she trusted him so blindly and let him, only him, for fuck's sake, touch her.

But it didn't mean he would go down without a fight.

McCoy lowered the hypo.

"Transfer her to the private ward," he ordered.

The hint of smugness disappeared from her eyes, but she kept on singing.

He personally transported her bed to the private room and let the door slid shut. The songs became less loud, but they could still hear them.

"Bones," Jim approached him carefully, "Are you sure that all this," he waved his hand, "performance is less energy-consuming than reading?"

Why was all of this happening to him?

"She'll give up sooner or later," McCoy snapped and entered Lee's room again.

The girl sang some old Earth love song this time. She looked at him happily, but he ignored her and ordered the computer of her biobed to send her vitals to his personal PADD. Then he issued a privacy mode.

"I made this room soundproof," he shouted at her, "Nobody's gonna hear you now."

With that, he made his leave. He was met by half-amused, half-worried Jim and tried not to let his temper get loose on his best friend.

"There. Dealt with it."

"I highly doubt that. The girl is a disaster," the Captain noted, "I do think that you should just give her the damn thing."

"Are you a doctor?"

Jim shrugged.

"As you wish. But please, keep writing these reports. They are so hilarious to read."

McCoy shoved the kid out of sickbay and looked around. His staff was staring at him apprehensively and he realized that he had no choice but to stay here all the time. He was the only one who could just remotely control the girl. The Doctor shook his head and without another word stomped to his office. His shift had just started, so he would be able to keep her in line. In the meantime, he might catch up with some paperwork that was waiting for him to pay attention.

He checked Lee's vitals before he started and was glad to see that the devil was peacefully asleep. Finally.

He sighed and switched his PADD on.

* * *

The rest of his shift went smoothly. The girl slept the whole time, obviously exhausted from the havoc she'd been wrecking on his domain.

He looked wearily at M'Benga who came to relieve him. The other Doctor was calm and composed, but McCoy knew better. His personnel were utterly terrified by their patient at this point. Who would have thought that such a tiny creature could cause so much anxiety in people?

"I'll stay," he announced and saw a glimpse of relief in his subordinate's eyes, "Tell me when she starts it again."

He received 'yes, sir,' and went back to his work. The little devil was still out, so he could at least try to enjoy some peace and quiet, even for a short time. But when had he ever had what he wanted? He didn't even reach his desk when his comm. chimed and he was informed that Spock wanted him in the laboratory 'to assist in the experiment that falls exactly within his proficiency.'

He was muttering curses under his breath while walking to the lab, but, in the end, he had to admit that the First Officer was right. The experiment had promising results and might actually evolve in much more sufficient treatment of Klingon fever than they had now. They were studying the data when sickbay called for labs. He knew what happened without even asking.

"What?" he snapped.

"Doctor," he heard M'Benga's voice along with the compulsory singing in the background.

McCoy didn't let him finish.

"On my way."

Oh, she was dead. She was soooo much dead. He was going to kill her personally.

* * *

The devil was on this fucking cupboard again. She sat on the edge of it and was dangling her feet, obviously enjoying herself. He'd order to remove this useless piece of furniture the next second the girl jumps down.

"How the hell did she get there again?" he roared, "She had to pass the entire room to reach it!"

"She is fast," M'Benga said apologetically, "We tried to catch her, but she can run really, really fast. I've attempted to get her down myself, but she hid in the far corner so I couldn't reach her."

"Oh for the love of God!" McCoy yelled, and his voice sounded louder than he'd expected because the devil suddenly halted her vocal exercise and turned extremely pale. All anger in him flew out of the window, and he rushed to her just in time to catch his fainted patient before she hit the floor.

That lunatic of a girl exhausted herself completely just to make him submit to her will. Damn her, damn her stubbornness, and damn her weakness.

He carried Lee to her room and then ordered someone to find an unused PADD and leave it on the table beside her biobed.


	5. Chapter 5

The next twelve hours were quiet mainly because the girl slept all that time, giving them all an opportunity to calm down a little.

McCoy was currently in his quarters, enjoying a glass of bourbon. Jim was there too, claiming that this was his direct responsibility to supervise his CMO's level of intoxication. Of course, the kid drank the precious liquid too, to evaluate the quality of the good stuff, apparently.

"She's got you," the Captain's voice interrupted his grim thoughts about Lee's behavior and his own reaction to it.

"What are you talking about?" McCoy asked, understanding perfectly well what his friend had in mind.

"Lee," Jim clarified, "She totally and completely got you into her little claws. Have you seen yourself? You look at her like you are going to either kill her or fuck her and as you gave the oath to do no harm, it's the latter option. Geez, I haven't seen you that mad since my escape from Starfleet Medical after all this mess with Marcus and Khan."

"It was a shitty thing to do, kid," McCoy replied, desperately hoping that Jim would let the topis change.

"Yes, it was, and I'm sorry, but that's not what I'm talking about. What I mean is that you were freaking out back then because you care about me. And now you're freaking out again because you care about her."

"I'm doing it because she sang the damn songs all the time! My whole staff is frightened out of their wits, and all because she was bored. I think I may actually hate her."

Jim shook his head.

"No, I mean, yes, there, right there. You'd never let this go thus far with any other patient. You usually don't buy any of the bullshit that she managed to feed you. You just growl at your victims and terrify them, so they do what you're telling them to. This whole situation - you created it yourself, just admit it."

Jim had a point. He did agree to her conditions to treat her like she wished. Maybe, if he pushed a little harder... But he didn't want to push, and that was the problem.

"So what are you going to do with her now?" Jim was watching him sympathetically now.

"Well, now when she's got her damn PADD I hope she'll calm down and heal nicely in about a week."

"I mean with your feelings. Are you going to make a move or something?"

McCoy looked away.

"She's my patient, Jim."

"So what?"

"It's against regulations."

"When have we ever cared about regulations? Personally, I think they're too strict."

McCoy sighed.

"She's too young for me, Jim, a decade younger, according to the tests. And who'd ever said she'd want me in turn?"

"So you admit that you want her," his friend concluded with a smirk.

"Go to hell."

Jim chuckled and returned to his drink.

McCoy's PADD suddenly beeped, signaling about a change in Lee's status. The notification stated that the girl was awake now, and he had to stop himself from hurrying to check on her. Damn, was he really into her that hard? He emptied the glass and regarded the rest of the bottle critically. Нe probably shouldn't take another shot, even though the last events could serve as a good excuse for two glasses of the good stuff instead of one.

He hadn't been commed yet, which meant the girl saw the PADD and finally stopped her show. Still, he had to give her the meds personally.

"Have to go?" Jim asked, looking a little bit too innocent.

"Well, the devil is with us again," the Doctor huffed, "I have to give her some hypos."

"So go. I'll stay and finish this if you don't mind."

"Actually, I do."

"Don't you have a patient to check on?"

McCoy made a face and stood.

"I have a devil to fight."

He left Jim to enjoy the drink and strode to sickbay.

It was unusually peaceful and quite there. Thank God, she hadn't come up with some new insanity yet.

She raised her head from the PADD when he entered her room and gave him that radiant smile that was meant only for him.

"Got what you wanted?" he asked, trying to look as mean as possible.

"Hey, Leo," she beamed at him, ignoring his attitude entirely, "Yes, thanks for that. I can finally catch up on everything I've missed. It was so sweet of you to give me the PADD."

He felt his blood boil.

"Sweet?!" he roared, "You drove my whole department crazy! None of us was able to work properly! And I don't want to even talk about your condition because of your little stunts."

She tilted her head, eyeing him curiously with a light smile on her lips. Those damn lips. This damn bright smile.

"You shout too much," the girl stated, "I don't think it's good for you."

She slid out of the bed, approached him, holding his gaze, and stood inches apart, and he was in the bar again, looking at her for the first time and not being allowed to turn away.

"You shouldn't take it all too seriously," she whispered and slowly raised her hand.

The hand reached his face and he froze when the girl started caressing his cheek. She proceeded to his hair, still watching him intently. Hell, she was so damn close, wearing only a robe and nothing underneath it. All he wanted now was just give in, hold her tight and kiss her until she forgot how to breathe. The thought that she probably wanted it too made it almost impossible for him to stand still.

"There," she said softly, "No more yelling," and dropped her hand. He missed her touch immediately.

It wasn't even lust. He just enjoyed her touching him, so much care and tenderness in every move. And did he want to return the favor. All he needed was to make a small step, put her in his arms and kiss her slowly, giving everything he could possibly give.

"Go to bed, girl," he said instead. She was too young for him. Too young, too beautiful and way too crazy. Besides, she would leave soon, so there was no need in losing himself in this hopeless affair.

She obeyed right away, her smile disappeared under a neutral expression. She was clearly disappointed, but it was for the better. They really shouldn't start anything now.

The girl was silent during the whole check-up, looking straight ahead without sparing him a glance. He didn't realize how much joy her smile had brought him, and now, when he was deprived of it, everything seemed bleak and dull. It seemed like one moment he was warm and safe, and the other moment someone yanked him to the freezing desert of Delta-Vega, leaving him with sharp coldness somewhere on the left side of his chest.

"I'm gonna take you back to the common ward," he informed, looking through her vitals one more time. The twelve-hours sleep pushed the exhaustion away a little, but she was still weak. He had to see her all the time, so this private room wouldn't do.

"Okay," was an impassive response.

He transferred her to the common ward and stood in front of her. She looked like a robot, not a hint of emotion in her features, obviously a well-practiced mask. Jim used such a mask too when he wanted to hide raging emotions tearing him apart, usually not pleasant ones. Another thing that his friend and the girl had in common.

"Can I read now?" she interrupted his thoughts and he sighed. It was he who should be mad for all her whims but look at them. Women. Always made the tables turn.

"Yes, girl," he replied, "Just try to rest now and then, okay? Reading may be pretty exhausting too."

She just nodded and took her PADD. He felt dismissed.

This is for the best, he thought to himself. But the coldness inside didn't go away.

* * *

Six hours later, in the middle of his shift, she was still reading. McCoy considered taking the device from her and order her to rest, but decided against it. He didn't want another show, not when his staff relaxed a little. God, he was pathetic. When had he ever thought about the patient's opinion about his actions? Only when he'd treated Jim, but Jim was an exception. Well, looked like Lee was an exception too.

He was discussing with his head nurse the arrangements of the monthly check-up of the whole ship crew, so he didn't notice the ensign who'd been there two days ago and witnessed the whole of Lee's performance. So McCoy was surprised when he turned around and saw the smile that he loved so much. The smile wasn't directed at him, though. The girl was talking to the ensign and apparently having fun because he heard her giggles and the ensign's snickering in response. He frowned and approached them.

"And what do you think you're doing here?" McCoy demanded grimly, not even bothering to hide his irritation.

"I came to see Lee," the ensign answered, fidgeting, "To ask if she's okay."

"As you can see, she's fine. Now get lost."

"Am I not allowed to receive visitors, doctor?" Lee asked politely, no trace of annoyance or anger in her voice. But McCoy knew for sure that she was definitely mad at him.

"You are, but only when you are well-rested. And as you've been playing with this thing," the Doctor nodded at her PADD, "for several hours already, you are not well-rested. So cut your little chat and give me the PADD. I'll return it to you after you sleep. And you," he continued, looking at the ensign with his best intimidating expression. Unlike the girl, the kid wasn't immune to it, "you are getting out of my sickbay now."

"Yes, sir," the ensign quickly answered, "I'll come to see you later, Lee."

"See you, Josef," the girl smiled at the kid, and the engineer disappeared.

Her smile faded when she looked at him. Just looked, without any emotion again. He felt an irresistible desire to scream.

"The PADD, please," he extended his hand. For a moment he thought she'd refuse, but she handed the device to him and closed her eyes. He was dismissed again.


	6. Chapter 6

McCoy still thought about this incident even hours later, when he was trying to read some moron's thesis which topic was loosely related to his current research. The whole paper was a piece of crap, but the moron had some interesting ideas that he could use.

But the reading was progressing slowly. He couldn't forget Lee's smile, the smile that belonged only to him, damnit, given to some other man. He couldn't forget the spark in her eyes that disappeared when he didn't make the move she'd waited for and that he craved to make. All he could think of was her, again, and this was the reason why he was currently reading the same sentence for the fourth time and understanding absolutely no word there.

He heard the door's hiss and raised his head, half-curious, half-annoyed at the person who dared to enter his office without his permission.

Lee stood in the doorway, looking completely normal and smiling, damnit, she was smiling at him again.

"Hey," her voice was sweet and quite, "Whatcha reading?"

He blinked. Wasn't she supposed to be mad at him? Or maybe she had amnesia? Bipolar disorder? She was ignoring him entirely just a couple of hours ago.

"You shouldn't have left the bed," he said after a long pause, "you need rest."

She rolled her eyes and approached him. He was both afraid and hopeful that she'd repeat her morning move again, but she just hopped on the desk in front of him.

"I was resting the whole day. I'm bored now."

Jesus Christ, no, not again.

"You have a PADD, isn't it enough?"

"It is. But I was wondering what you are doing. So I came here," she smiled again.

How many emotions one single lips' movement could awake? If there was a record, he was definitely hitting it right now. But he had to be firm.

"You need to go to bed," he insisted, standing.

She didn't move, just tilted her head and looked at him with this light in her eyes that promised both hell and heaven for those who looked at that light for too long. Resist it, damnit.

He took her hand (normal temperature, her nails at their place again) and guided her out of the office to her bed. She obliged, obediently following him without a word. He gestured to the bed and she climbed into it without complaining. A mischievous spark blinked in her eyes. Oh, this wouldn't end well.

He came back to the office and stared at the reading, but the words had suddenly lost their meaning. He didn't have a chance to do it for long though, as the door hissed again, revealing the girl. She stepped in and hopped on the desk, all beautiful and innocent. Almost like an angel. But then again, Lucifer was an angel too.

McCoy raised to his feet and took her to bed once again. She didn't protest.

He ordered a privacy mode after returning to the office, which meant that no one would be able to enter it without his permission. Now she had to back off because he wouldn't let her in, no way. She did need her sleep, especially after all this singing disaster.

He sat there for a good ten minutes, waiting for her to ring, but there was no sound, no knocking, nothing.

So she gave up, good. He returned to his reading and gave it a hard glare. He forgot everything that was said in this part of the paper, which meant that he had to start it again.

"Fuck it," he cursed. He wouldn't waste any more time on this nonsense, there was much better stuff to study. And that stuff was in the main room, in Lee's favorite cupboard. He groaned and made for the door once again. If he wanted to work today, he had no choice but to exit the office, and only God knew what he'd find there.

The door opened, and he collided with Lee standing in his way. Her grin wasn't innocent this time, her eyes glimmered playfully, and he forgot what he'd intended to do. So he growled and dragged her to her bed, not bothering to be gentle this time, vaguely being aware of the duty nurse watching them. Of course, the nurse didn't dare to send the girl to rest - his whole staff tried to avoid Lee as much as possible.

"Stay," McCoy barked and left to take some PADDs from the cupboard. When he turned around, the girl was gone. He swore and stomped to his office, knowing exactly what he'd find there.

His red-headed nightmare sat on the desk and dangled her feet light-heartedly. McCoy felt a strong desire to beat his head against a wall. He could send her back again and close the door, but he was pretty sure that in this case, she'd stand in front of his office the whole night. So he didn't have a choice.

He strode past her and fell in his chair. She grinned at him victoriously.

"So," she said, "what are you reading?"

"You're unbearable, do you know that?" he glared at her.

"Yes, I am aware of that. So, is it classified? The things you read."

So she wanted to talk. Who was he to deny her what she wants?

"Just some stuff about neurological disorders in different species," he answered, feeling hopeless and slightly angry at the fact that she won once again, "Some moron thinks humans and Bajorans have similar neuronal connections and therefore can be treated in a similar way."

"And you are reading this crap?" she stared at him in disbelief, "This is bullshit, everyone knows that Bajorans evolved differently and that their brains use different neurotransmitters to pass the signals."

It was his turn to gawk.

"And you know this how?"

She smirked.

"Do I not look like a person who can know such things?"

"This information is rather specialized."

She shrugged.

"So what? I read things when I'm bored. Sometimes these things are about xenobiology."

McCoy shook his head, removing an obviously stupid look from his face.

"So why read this?" she asked again.

"Well, the idiot has some promising ideas," he replied, "And they are related to my own research."

"And what are you working on?"

He told her his thesis and she raised an eyebrow.

"There's a hell of a lot of work to do to prove it. Are you sure you're right about this?"

"Yes, Lee, I'm sure. I just need to carry some field studies that should be designed first. And this," he nodded at the paper about Bajorans, "had some nice suggestions about how to do it."

She tilted her head, thinking. Then she jumped off the desk and came closer.

"Move," she ordered, poking his leg with her knee.

"What?" he gaped at her not for the first time this night.

"I want to read it and see what this design looks like. Don't worry, I'll catch up fast and we continue reading together."

So she wanted to sit in his chair, emitting her warmth and touching his body. He wasn't sure he could handle this, let alone the fact that it was highly unprofessional.

"There are other chairs, girl," he remarked, already accepting the fact that this battle was also lost.

She grinned in response, her innocence long gone.

"And I want to sit here, with you."

He let out an exasperated sigh and made room for her. She fit the space between the chair arm and his body just fine, took the PADD from him and skipped the paper to the beginning.

He didn't even fully manage to fight back the fire she ignited in him with her body, as she was done with the first page. It took her about thirty seconds, maybe less, and she turned to the second page, scanning through it with the same speed. So she had speed-reading skills. An interesting ability of a woman who drank her whiskey straight and kissed strangers without a second thought.

"Hey, hey, slow down there," he stopped her when she reached the page he was studying, "I haven't read this yet."

She glanced at the page and leaned on his shoulder.

"Skip on when you're done," she murmured.

How was he supposed to study a serious academic paper when that warm, beautiful, tempting woman was pressing against him? He ordered himself to concentrate and was more or less successful. Surprisingly, it was much easier to focus when she was here, with him, acting like she always did.

So they read that nonsense together. He finished the last sentence and glanced down at her.

"So, what do you think?"

"This experiment's design is completely idiotic," she stated, backing away a little, so she could look at him, "The whole structure is crap. And you want to base your work on this?"

He kind of reached the same conclusion, but the girl seemed too confident to just agree with her.

"You are pretty sure about that," he observed.

"Of course I am. The one who modeled this was frequently dropped on the floor in their childhood. Probability theory and Mathematical statistics are totally screwed up. This index and this constant won't work here, but they base all their calculations on it. I'm neither medic nor xenobiologist, and I don't know what exactly the results mean, but it nonetheless can't be considered reliable because the interpolation is all wrong. So this is just a shitty combination of words and figures, not a thesis."

She shook her head, ignoring his dumbfounded expression.

"Give me that," she snatched the PADD from him, opened a new document and started typing equations, "Let's have some fun, shall we?"

His eyes had to be too wide because she laughed when she saw his stare.

"Come on, I want to design this thing properly."

And design she did, asking him questions about the essence of the experiment now and then. He told her what she'd needed, and twenty minutes later had a fully designed model that he could definitely use. He didn't have Jim's, Spock's or Chekov's understanding of the higher mathematics, but thanks to his best friend he could see that the girl's model was better, and more importantly, correct, as she commented every step, backing it up with necessary theorems.

If he was ever going to implement this model to his research he would have to put her name on the list of the paper's authors.

"Good job," McCoy finally praised.

"Thanks," she beamed at him.

"We need to co-publish this," he added and her smile faded.

"No, we don't. Why?"

"Because what you just did is a significant part of the whole research. If I want to use it, I need to mention you among the authors."

"Nah, you don't," she replied, regaining her nonchalance again, "We did it together, and if I wasn't there, you'd do it yourself. So just use it, I don't mind"

"I can't, girl. It's _your_ design."

"Sure you can."

"Lee..." he started, but she interrupted him.

"Do you speak Klingon?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"No. Why do you ask?"

She regarded him carefully.

"There is an article in Klingon," she said, measuring every word, "that will help you prove your point. But there is no translation, so you have to translate it yourself, or ask your comm officer to do it."

His jaw hit the floor. How, for christsake, she was so familiar with the topic?

"How do you know about this?" he weakly asked.

"I read things, I told you."

"And where did you find an article _in Klingon_?"

"Oh, they are in general access, you just need to know where to look."

McCoy still couldn't believe it. Who the hell was she?

"I don't think you'd be able to cite it, though," she continued, "but the article will give a general direction, so you probably wouldn't even need to do it."

McCoy imagined Uhura's face if he'd approach her with a request to translate some xenobiology article from Klingon to Standard. The picture was slightly terrifying.

"Thanks, but I guess the Federation has some folks who also have the information I need," he finally said.

She shrugged.

"As you wish," and yawned.

"Someone's tired?" he smiled, scolding himself inwardly for letting her up for so long.

"Yeah," she quietly replied, "You haven't finished yet, have you?"

"No, girl, I haven't."

She looked down and was silent for a while. Then she looked at him again.

"Let me stay here," she begged, "I feel safe with you. Please."

McCoy looked down at her in those shining, astonishingly green eyes and couldn't make himself refuse.

"Okay," he grumbled, submitting to her will again, "just do me a favor and sleep already."

She nodded and hid her face in his shoulder.

Dear God above, he wanted this woman, and not just in a purely physical way. She made him feel younger and stronger, and she made him believe in his capability of protecting her from anything that the world could throw at her.

He hesitated, then wrapped his arm around her shoulders and held her close. She emitted a sound very akin to a moan and threw her hand around his torso, and he shuddered, holding back a gasp. She shifted a little and went absolutely still. So much like that night in the bar...

Okay, now he had to calm down a little and figure out how to put it all in his report for Jim.


	7. Chapter 7

"So she can speak Klingon, knows xenobiology and math," Jim summed up.

"Fascinating," Spock said.

"Dangerous," Jim said.

McCoy said nothing.

They were in the Captain's ready room where they were discussing McCoy's last report. Jim showed a substantial amount of apprehension towards their guest, and it was pretty unsettling, mainly because Jim was following his intuition and his intuition was damn good at predicting things.

"And we can't even drop her at the nearest port," the Captain groaned, "Shit, she hasn't done anything yet, but already become a photon torpedo pointed at us. Do you like the metaphor, Bones?"

"I'm still better at it."

"Someday I'll outshine you."

"Dream about it, kid."

"This can indeed be considered remarkable creativity in designing the experiment," Spock observed, ignoring their bickering, "Miss Lee's mathematical model, though simple, is based on the deep understanding of statistical and analytical Mathematics. If I may assume, she is a talented mathematician."

McCoy huffed.

"Based on what? A single mathematical model?"

Jim nodded.

"Exactly. You can always tell that a person is good at drawing when you look at just one of their works. You see what they are capable of, and you make this conclusion. And our case is pretty much the same thing. I bet she is a decent 3D chess player too."

McCoy only scowled in response. The more they knew her, the more disturbing her talents became.

"And did you pay attention to the songs she sang?" Jim continued his reasoning, "How many languages did she use?"

"Many," the doctor admitted, "It was Standard, English, Spanish, and some other I didn't recognize. But those are all Earth languages."

"Yes, but she speaks Klingon too. Someone doesn't simply speak Klingon without a particular reason to learn it. And I think there are more languages that she knows. A talented tongue, you're lucky, Bones," a grin appeared on Jim's face, but vanished almost immediately.

Well, his friend was definitely wary of her. And maybe a little impressed, as the girl resembled some of Jim's characteristics, like mathematical and linguistic talents, along with a long list of medical anomalies.

"We can ask Lieutenant Uhura to talk to miss Lee," Spock suggested.

"Good idea," Jim agreed, "Your girlfriend can help us to find out more. Is she still your girlfriend?"

Spock pursed his lips and replied, "My relationships with Lieutenant Uhura has no relevance to our current discussion."

McCoy sneered and Jim smirked.

"Right, okay," the Captain said and turned to McCoy, "Do you mind if I send Spock's girlfriend to talk to our guest?"

"Not at all. But I don't think the girl would say anything."

"And I don't need her to say anything important. Okay, my comm officer will come to you guys in three or four hours. Make sure your patient's awake."

"I won't wake her up just to talk, Jim. She is still not well."

"So don't let her sleep."

McCoy sighed. He probably should start to count how many times he thought about the unknown shit he'd got himself into.

* * *

Uhura entered sickbay three hours later and greeted everybody with a bright smile. Lee responded in kind, but McCoy saw a slight tension in her posture. The girl pulled away a little when the comm officer came to her side, though the movement was so small that the Doctor wouldn't notice it if he didn't watch the girl intently. Lee definitely didn't like people around her.

"Hi! Nice to see you healing well," Uhura said, "Do you remember me?"

"Yes, Lieutenant, I remember you. You were in the bar that night," Lee answered politely.

She was always like that with other people, McCoy thought. She was nice and friendly until pushed too hard. Then she stopped being nice and revealed her true color.

He was standing near them, sorting out the PADDs with the previous check-up and didn't eavesdrop. Not at all.

Meanwhile, the conversation continued.

"It was a great night," Uhura was saying, earning herself a broad grin from the girl.

"It really was," Lee's voice was full of amusement, and McCoy suddenly decided that the air in the room was too hot for his liking.

"You might be wondering why I am here, interrupting your rest, but Doctor McCoy mentioned that your healing progress is good and the Captain said you sang some Icelandic songs, so I came here to ask - maybe you agree to talk with me in Icelandic. I rarely have an opportunity to practice it with all this xenolinguistics."

Lee said something in what was apparently Icelandic language, and the women started talking in a language McCoy didn't understand. So he finished with the PADDs and stalked away.

* * *

Uhura stayed in sickbay for almost two hours. She approached McCoy when the women finished their chat and informed him about Jim's request to come with her to discuss the results of her findings. McCoy glanced at the girl who closed her eyes, looking extremely tired, and with a sigh followed the head of the communication department.

Jim waited in the ready room, Spock with him, as usual.

"So, Lieutenant?" the Captain asked.

"Well," Uhura started her report, "she's obviously a polyglot. She can speak English, French, German, Russian, Spanish, Italian, Icelandic, Norwegian, Danish, Swedish, Irish, Swahili, and Chinese, if we talk about the Earth languages. But there are also Orion, Andorian, all dialects of Xindi and Vulcan, Cardassian, Bajoran, Romulan, and Klingon. Those are what she told me about, but I guess there are more. I also think I know where she came from."

"And that would be?.." Jim prompted.

"I think she is Irish. She speaks English perfectly, but the slightest accent is still there. And you probably need to know another thing. As you know, if a language is not our native, we would speak it with an accent. It is inevitable, so it is always possible to see whether someone belongs to a certain race or nation, or not. Lee's case is different."

Who'd ever doubted that, McCoy thought. The girl was a walking anomaly, what else could it be?

"She has more than one language that she speaks like she was born to do it. And you won't like one of them," Uhura continued.

Spock raised an eyebrow, Jim leaned forward, and McCoy frowned. The conclusions had to be very disturbing as Uhura spent so much time on preparing them for the news.

"These are English, Irish, and Icelandic, so my guess is that one of her parents is from Ireland and another - from Iceland. English is widely spoken in Ireland, so she probably lived there, not in Iceland. But there is the fourth language that she speaks perfectly. And this is Klingon."

The room fell silent.

"What are the odds that she lived among them?" Jim finally asked.

"Quite high. And she had to speak it a lot with the Klingons directly. Only then she'd be able to pronounce some of the vowels. She had to live with them for years, Captain."

"So she is a Klingon spy. Lovely," McCoy stated half-seriously, but it was clear the others considered this possibility too.

Jim rubbed his forehead.

"I'll order additional security near sickbay and all over the ship. I want all unusual things to be reported immediately. And do not let her out of your sight, Bones."

McCoy rolled his eyes.

"Like I could. Every time I leave my department she invents something crazy and disastrous. I'm watching her closely, don't you worry."

"Good," Jim replied, "And that's all, I guess. You can go now."

The officers stood and headed for the entrance. McCoy followed Uhura and Spock, but Jim stopped him, waited until the other two left the room and then turned to McCoy with a worried look on his face.

"Bones," Jim quietly said, "I know that you like her and that you probably omitted quite a lot in your report... But please, be careful. For the sake of us all."

McCoy didn't meet his friend's eyes. He just nodded and left without another word.

* * *

She was calm, peaceful and so damn young in her sleep. Was she really a spy? And in this case, was all of her behavior an act? He couldn't think about all her smiles and gentle touches being a fake. But if their assumptions were true... No, he'd rather not think about it at all.

The girl shifted and he could tell that the dream she was having changed. Lee was frowning now, all peace and tranquility gone. He stopped himself from waking her up. She never had nightmares, he thought, at least he didn't know about them. She never screamed in her sleep, which was strange given the fact that she'd endured severe torture just recently. But sleep was good for her, and he didn't know for sure that she was dreaming about something bad. Maybe her dream was simply about her not getting what she wants.

The next second she flinched, opened her eyes, and McCoy recognized the same panic and horror that he witnessed when she woke up here for the first time. And then she saw him.

He could practically feel all insecurity and fear vanishing, bliss and happiness replacing them. She smiled, and he shivered. That damn smile. It would be that smile, not her sexy body or feverish kisses, that would take him to hell. That smile and those sparkling grass-green eyes that were shining on him now. Yeah, those would certainly be the death of him.

"Hey," she huskily murmured and he decided that all that spy stuff was bullshit. It is possible to fake affection, passion or even joy, but it like hell wasn't possible to fake the light that her eyes were emitting. She did feel happy with him, he could bet his life on it. And if she didn't... Well, he'd know how to talk to the Devil once he'd get to hell. He had experience.

"How was your sleep?" he asked, looking at the biobed's screens. Her heart rate was a little bit off the charts, but everything else was okay, "Did Uhura exhaust you?"

"I slept fine, thank you. And no, she didn't exhaust me. It was actually pretty nice to talk to someone who doesn't threaten you with hypos or stare at you like you're some sort of a prize."

"And who stares at you like you're a prize?"

"Josef."

Oh, that damn ensign. McCoy grimaced at the memory of the girl's laugh and smiles given to the kid.

"Was he here?"

"Yeah, when you'd gone, he came to see me. We talked a little, but I fell asleep. I don't remember how he left."

Damnit. They all wearied her, and that would probably delay her recovery even more.

"So you are a prize now, huh?" he remarked, trying to look casual, but feeling something that under no circumstances should have been called jealousy.

"Apparently so," she snorted, rolling her eyes.

"I'll forbid him to come here and make you pass out."

She laughed.

"What is it, Leo? Is it jealousy?"

"Common sense, girl, and the doctor's authority."

"Have I ever told you that authoritative you are an extremely attractive man?" she asked with a grin.

And there she was turning him into a teenager again.

"In other words, but yes," he replied, fighting back a blush.

She smirked and looked around.

"Where is my PADD, by the way? I have stuff to read."

"Of course you do," he handed her the PADD, "Try not to pass out again."

"Will do my best."

He gave her a smile that she, of course, returned, and got to work. Today was a busy day as the ship's chemists spilled something in the labs and now suffered a severe reaction to this something. It was almost 2300 when everything finally settled down and McCoy got an opportunity to enjoy some peace and quiet in his office.

After staring blankly at the opposite wall for quite a lot of time, he made himself move. The day hadn't finished yet. He had some reports to sign, some papers to read and some notes to make. But first, he checked Lee's vitals. When he last paid attention to her, she was sound asleep, looking as beautiful as ever. Now, though, she was obviously awake, her heart rate not very normal again. McCoy frowned. He had to see how she was doing and maybe try to find out why her heart sometimes beat too fast without any particular reason.

The door slid open, and he saw the inhabitant of his thoughts in the doorway. She approached him with the confidence of a person who owns the place they are entering and dropped her PADD in front of him.

"I've got something for you," she announced.

"It's better to be good ten-hours sleep," he grumbled but reached for the PADD.

She narrowed her eyes.

"If you're tired, you shouldn't work, then," she made an effort to take the PADD away from him, but he'd already taken a look at what she'd brought and was slightly shocked.

"Girl, what is that?"

"The translation of the article I've told you about."

He gaped at her. The paper consisted of sixty pages of the topic that she supposedly had just read about. And this was a fucking translation from fucking Klingon. How, for christsake, had she managed to do it in one single day?

"You need to close your mouth or you'll catch some of that chemical stuff," she suggested with a wide grin.

He followed her advice, still not quite believing in what she'd done.

"That's a hell of a lot of work," he finally replied.

"Yes, it is. So are you going to read it or what?"

"Okay, I mean yes, I'm gonna have a look. Thanks, I guess."

"Okay," the girl said, then looked away and shifted from one foot to another.

He sighed and wondered if he would ever be able to refuse her anything.

"You can stay here if you want," he offered.

Her face immediately lit up. She practically ran to him and took the place she'd occupied the previous night. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders again and she didn't hesitate to lay her hand and her head on his chest. It felt nice. It felt _right_. They fit each other in just the way to make their position perfectly comfortable and natural. The thought of the other ways in what their bodies might fit together nicely sent a shiver down his spine.

Don't even think about it.

McCoy forced himself to focus on the PADD, not on the girl, and started reading. The more he went on, the more he understood what Lee was talking about. The paper was a breakthrough, a new insight into the familiar concepts, and the results the author had got put so many ideas into his head that McCoy was almost ready to storm to the labs right away.

"Do you like it?" Lee murmured into his neck and he shuddered. Yes, he definitely liked how her lips were an inch apart from his skin. But the question was probably not about his reaction to her.

"Yes, the paper is good," he replied in a slightly hoarse voice, "I see now why you wanted me to read it."

He felt her smile next to his skin.

"I know, right? It's not directly related to your research but it reminds you of some useful ideas. You already know them, so it's not stealing."

"Yeah," he agreed, and the red alerts inside him came to life.

This was an article in the language she had no right to be so familiar with. Even Uhura would have to take more time to translate an academic paper on such a specific topic. _From Klingon_ , damnit.

"Who are you, girl?" the words left his mouth before he registered it.

Lee, who started the circular motions that had driven him crazy back in the bar, froze. It seemed she even held her breath like the question stunned her. Then she broke out of his arms and stood, that goddamn mask on her face again. Neutral, emotionless and so in contrast with everything she was usually showing him.

"Goodnight, Leonard," she said and exited the office without further ado.

He restrained himself from throwing the PADD at the next wall.


	8. Chapter 8

McCoy hadn't slept that night, so when he entered his department the following morning, his mood was not very peaceful, the rage in him searching for blood. Too bad that a monthly check-up of the whole crew started today. It meant a lot of opportunities to make a lot of people uncomfortable. Not like he cared. Today he would make God himself uncomfortable.

The cause of his today's ill temper was sleeping with a light smile on her lips. It made him even more furious, but this was not a time to throw a tantrum. He needed to finish organizing his staff's work before the check-up started.

One of the nurses bumped into him and he swore, making the nurse wince. Oh, it was going to be a long day.

To his surprise, the check-up went perfectly smooth. It was probably because everyone sensed his readiness to go on a rampage and didn't give him a reason to do it. It was extremely annoying, he had to admit, not being able to release his anger, and the more he kept it to himself, the bigger the explosion was going to be. He was even worried if he'd kill someone eventually.

It was a new nurse who they'd picked up in Yorktown, Catto, who finally let him lose his temper. The woman made a mistake in arranging the crew's profiles according to the alphabetical order at the very end of McCoy's shift. And now he was shouting at her, inwardly feeling a little bit relieved.

"How is it possible to be so goddamn stupid?" he yelled, "Can't you read? C goes before d, not vice versa. Do I have to check on everything in here?" he threw his hands in exasperation, "I've got five hundred people to check on, so I have a job to do without correcting your stupid mistakes. So do me a fucking favor and try not to screw up every damn thing I'm ordering you to do!"

He stormed to his office, panting slightly. The outburst helped to ease the tightness in his chest a little, but it wasn't enough. Lee's behavior today was annoying to no end. She was ignoring him the whole day, driving him insane with every minute he was deprived of her smiles and touches. That damn Klingon spy.

The next thing he knew was the girl standing in front of him. He didn't notice how she'd come in, so she took him by surprise.

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed, "Are you out of your fucking mind? Why did you do this to her?"

McCoy blinked. He'd never seen her angry. Apparently, the wicked part of her was showing its new facet. She looked quite intimidating and exceptionally hot in this new mode, and this last part maddened him even more.

"And what do you think _you_ are doing?!" he yelled, "It's none of your goddamn business! You're not the one in charge here, but I am, so I do what I see fit. And you have absolutely no right to come here and judge me like this. You may drive my whole department crazy, you may do whatever you please with this damn health of yours, but you will not tell me how to run my sickbay. So fuck off and go to your fucking bed!"

She narrowed her eyes, and his instinct told him that he'd just done a huge, enormous mistake.

"Are you done?" she asked calmly.

"Yes. Now get lost."

She didn't reply. Instead, she shoved him hard. He didn't expect it, so he fell in a chair that luckily wasn't far behind him. She put one of her knees between his legs and set her hands on both sides of his head, effectively pinning him in place.

He noticed blackness under her eyes like she hadn't had enough sleep. She also looked paler than usual, but he was too mad to point it out.

"And now you are going to listen to what I have to say, Leonard McCoy," she was saying inches apart from his face, "What you've just done is cruel and completely unacceptable. This stupid mistake was nothing, it wasn't important, and your head nurse would have corrected it if you hadn't poked your nose into this."

He tried to object, but she silenced him by putting her hand on his mouth. Oh, this small, soft hand.

"Catto is a good nurse," the girl continued, "She knows her job. She is smart and kind and hard-working. And you've just made her cry."

Lee closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

"I did say that you're sexy when you're angry and I meant it. Personally, I find you screaming like a little girl in the middle of her tantrum exceptionally hot. But I guess few people share my opinion. And while I don't care if you are shouting at me, some people may be actually scared to death by your dramatics."

The girl sighed and kneeled in front of him. She rested her hands on his thighs and the anger in him immediately vanished, a white-hot desire came to its place. She was practically between his legs, for christsake, and looked up at him without her previous cold rage. Lee smiled, and it took every bit of his self-control not to take her head, kiss her hard, shove her at his desk and make her scream too, but for a very different reason.

"Look," she said, softer now, "You have a daughter, right? What would you say if it was her being shouted at? What would you think if she was working her ass off to be useful on a ship like the _Enterprise_ , if she was persistent and talented and just good at her job, but some crazy boss of her yelled at her like you did today? What would you feel if even the slightest mistake of your daughter was met with such disrespect? You've insulted Catto, Leo, in front of your whole staff. Do you even comprehend how it feels to know that the boss you look up to thinks you are stupid and incompetent? You are her commanding officer, so her career, and maybe her life too, depends on your opinion. Your words made her feel absolutely devastated. So what would you say if someone treated your daughter like you treated Catto today?"

He never thought about it. The possibility of his little princess experiencing what his nurses were constantly subjected to made him wince. He'd kill anyone who dared to behave with Joanna like this with his bare hands.

Lee's smile became even wider as she was studying his reaction to her words.

"You are a good man," she went on, "And I know that you didn't actually mean what you'd said. But she doesn't know it. She is new here, am I right?"

He nodded.

"So she hasn't got used to your utterly hot, but extremely terrifying temper just yet. So don't do this to her... to any of them again, okay?"

"And have you got used to my temper?" he asked, the tension in his chest fading bit by bit.

"I'm just not buying any of your bullshit," she smirked and rose to her feet.

His face was right in front of her lower stomach now. He silently ordered his hands to stay where they were and not grab the girl and make her straddle him. He forced himself to look up and wondered if she was aware of the reactions she drove from him.

"You'll apologize to her," Lee stated and he nodded. He couldn't refuse her. Again.

"Good man," she kissed the top of his head and left, making him freeze.

What had just happened? She couldn't just come here, calm him and turn him on at the same time and leave! The girl was definitely a devil. He shook his head, trying to exorcise her from his thoughts. Then he hit the comm.

"Nurse Catto, come to my office now," he ordered.

He received 'Yes, sir,' and leaned back. The girl made him apologize. Unbelievable.

Catto came in, looking scared and pathetic. McCoy thought about Joanna and sighed.

"Take a seat, nurse," he suggested in a low voice, "I need to talk to you."

He explained that the order in the crew's profiles was important because in time of crisis every second mattered, and if something wasn't in its intended place, it may cost someone's life. He explained that being attentive is crucial in their job. Finally, he apologized and dismissed her.

They all would think that he was out of his mind, McCoy decided, recalling Catto's stunned and bewildered expression when she'd heard his 'I'm sorry.' It was so not him. Damn, what had this girl turned him into?

* * *

Several hours later he was glaring at the pyramid of PADDs on his desk. The paperwork was killing him. And the fact that all this had to be done until 0800 was killing him even more. He regretted delaying the check-up, but with all the mess that Lee had caused they just hadn't had time for it. They were late by a couple days and the guys from Starfleet Medical were demanding the check-up results more and more persistently. And they had just started, damnit. It would take a week to examine everyone on this ship.

McCoy rubbed his eyes and felt how sleepless last night was catching up with him. But all this shit had to be done, so he set to work. It was boring and monotonous, so he entertained himself by checking on Lee's vitals from time to time. He noted that she'd been sleeping for a while but now was awake, her heartbeat was strong and steady, thank God.

Hours passed by, the pyramid on the desk grew less in size, but he wasn't done yet and it made his head ache. He just wanted to sleep and give his neck a little break from sitting in the same position for a very long time.

Lee collapsed in the chair in front of his desk, startling him.

"What did you say to her?" the girl asked, "she looked like the lightning struck her after she came out."

McCoy studied her warily.

"Not now, girl. I'm busy."

She looked at the desk and frowned.

"Does it have to be done now?"

"Actually, it had to be done yesterday."

She tilted her head.

"Can I help?"

"No, this is what I have to do personally."

"But you look horrible. You need rest."

He scowled at her.

"Thanks for the advice. But I really need you to stop interrupting my work."

He shouldn't have said that. It made her wicked side come to the light.

"Okay," she replied with a mad grin.

The next second she was in front of him, snatching a PADD out of his hands.

"What the fuck?" he hissed.

Her grin became even madder. She whirled his chair around, so he couldn't see his desk, and leaned down to face him.

"Will ten minutes make a difference?" she asked.

He made an attempt to get back to his previous position, but she grabbed his shoulders with an unexpected force and didn't let him escape.

"Let me go, girl, I'm not kidding. I really am busy," he glared at her.

"Will ten minutes make a difference?" she repeated.

He intensified his glare, but it was a vain attempt. She was long immune to his best intimidating tactics. So he let her take over once again.

"No," he admitted.

"Good. Now order a privacy mode."

He stared at her in shock.

"What?"

She rolled her eyes.

"I wanna make you relax a little so that you won't doze off right on these things. And my relaxation technique needs us not to be interrupted."

He gaped at her, his brain was refusing to believe his ears. Was she suggesting what he thought she was suggesting?

She laughed at him.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm just going to give you a massage. So, privacy mode?"

He weakly obeyed, both relieved and disappointed. But what was he thinking, anyway? Would she ever want to kneel in front of him like she did earlier, put her hands on his thighs and... No, don't go there.

In the meantime, she positioned herself behind him and whispered "Close your eyes. It will take only ten minutes and then I'll let you work. Promise."

And she let her hands roam. She started with his sore neck and a moan escaped his mouth before he could suppress it.

"Do you like it?" she murmured.

He couldn't see her, but he heard a smile in her voice.

"Yeah... This is... Ugh," Damn, he forgot how words should sound.

"Good?" she suggested, pressing her thumb just in the right place.

"God yes."

He never realized how tense he was until the girl made the tension go away. Her hands pushed, pressed and moved in ways that made him lose his mind. What else could she do with such talented hands? He tried to be silent, he really did, but sometimes it was impossible to be quiet. It was too good. She was too good. Spy or no spy, she was too good for him.

Her hands left his back and proceeded to his head. She started fussing with his hair, and it earned her another moan. Well, if playing with the devil was like this, he wouldn't mind going to hell.

Her moves became slower, and now she was just caressing him. It all ended way too soon.  
"I'm done," she quietly said and he opened his eyes.

She stood in front of him with a strange expression on her face. She was slim and pale, wore a patient's robe that was a little bit big for her, her ginger hair was a mess, and she didn't wear any makeup, but for him now there was no woman in the whole universe more beautiful and desired than her.

He could take her now, he knew it. A woman didn't just give a massage to a man she didn't want at least a little. And Lee wanted him a lot, he was sure of it. Damn, he wanted her too, if tightness in his pants was any indication. But he really shouldn't do it. 'Be careful,' Jim told him.

Fucking her would definitely not be considered being careful.

"Thanks," he said in a hoarse, shaky voice.

She sighed and shook her head.

"You are welcome. Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, I can go back to work now, I guess."

"Yeah," she stepped back, "Mind if I stay here?"

"No, if you don't sit in my chair," he smiled, but felt that the smile was not very sincere.

"Sure," she took her PADD that she'd probably carried here earlier and stared at it blankly.

McCoy looked at his PADDs too. He didn't want to sleep anymore, but now there were so many other things that he wanted, and he didn't know what distracted him more.

Just forget it, he told himself. It was nice, but now it was gone. He'd never have a right to call this young crazy beauty his girl. McCoy knew his way with women and he knew how spectacular he usually screwed everything up with them. The girl liked him, but she didn't know him. When she knew, she'd leave, just like Jocelyn had left.

This was for the sake of them both, McCoy thought. So he gritted his teeth and switched on the next PADD.


	9. Chapter 9

It was 0638 when all was finally done. Lee had fallen asleep three hours ago and McCoy carried her to bed, savoring every moment that she was in his arms.

At this point, he had to admit that everything he felt for her wasn't pure desire or the consequence of him being alone for a very long time. No, he wanted her body because it was a part of her. Lee was assertive, smart, sly, crazy and just _wonderful_.

He felt better when they were together, he felt stronger and more alive than ever. She was wild, unpredictable and reminded him of the untamed nature of the Earth. Uhura had suggested that the girl was Irish. Well, maybe it was true. For him, Ireland was North, and he believed all northerners were a little bit fucked up in their heads. Lee was just fucked up a lot.

McCoy lowered her to bed and looked down at her. Why had he ever thought he'd have a chance with her? She was into him probably because she was bored. Or because she was a fucking spy. And even if it wasn't true, he had to keep his distance, or one day she would touch him like she had done it today and he would forget all his resolutions.

She was a civilian, had her own life and would unlikely include him in it. So he'd better stop staring at her right now and go finish his work. But before, he had to plug her almost dead PADD to charge. God save them if she woke up and wouldn't see her toy.

The screen lit up when he plugged it in and as it had no password, he saw what Lee had been doing before passing out. Equations. Tons of it. It was obviously higher math which he studied at the Academy, but now he couldn't understand a thing here. He would have to put it in his report for Jim, McCoy thought flatly.

Tomorrow. He would do it tomorrow when he had some sleep. Now the damn PADDs were waiting for him.

* * *

At 0638 every bit of his energy was gone. McCoy tossed the last PADD at the desk and headed for his quarters. He had to take a horizontal position now or he would fall asleep standing. He collapsed at his bed at 0641 and his comm. woke him up a minute later, when he was fast asleep.

"McCoy," he muttered.

"Doctor," he heard a duty nurse's professionally calm voice, "It's an emergency in Engineering."

His eyes snapped open.

"What happened?" he demanded, raising at his feet and feeling a little bit dizzy.

"They said it was an explosion and that there are a lot of injured. Sir, we need you down there."

McCoy was in motion already. It took him only a minute to reach the Engineering, and then he faced hell.

It was a fire here and there and one of the big pipes was laying on the floor. He followed shouts and saw a battlefield. Injured, burned people were everywhere: several lieutenants, but mostly ensigns. No signs of Scotty.

His staff joined him in a matter of seconds, and they spread through the area, assessing the situation and sending people to sickbay. He already saw several surgeries ahead of him and just prayed to God that they would save all these kids.

* * *

Eventually, they did save everyone. McCoy took four of the most difficult surgeries, M'Benga performed five less serious and precise.

When McCoy finally exited the OR, it was around 1700. He felt exhausted beyond limits, something that he hadn't experienced since Jim's returning from the dead. He needed his rest now. Three days without sleep was a serious thing. He wasn't twenty anymore, he couldn't just run around without proper rest for days and still be in a good shape.

But he couldn't leave just yet. He looked at Chapel and she approached him, obeying his silent order.

"Status report," he said.

"Everyone is alive and taken care of," she informed, "But we have almost all Engineering here."

"What about Scotty?"

"Mr. Scott is still down there. He wasn't injured, so he is busy with repairs."

"Good. It's good," he replied, looking around.

"Sir, if I may... You really should go to your quarters and take some rest," his head nurse suggested.

She was probably the only person in the medical who had ever dared to say something like this to him. He always appreciated her bravery.

"Thanks, nurse. I'll consider it."

She was still talking, but McCoy already saw what he was looking for and didn't listen. His legs carried him to a little form in white at the far end of sickbay on their own. He wanted sleep, yes, but he also wanted comfort, and Lee had never failed to give it to him.

Lee was at her feet the next moment she saw him.

"Oh, crap, Leo, you should go to bed now," she exclaimed, running to him and taking his hand.

They were in the middle of sickbay, holding hands in front of many people, but at this moment he didn't give a single fuck about it. He just squeezed her hand and she led them to his office, to his couch. Well, the couch would do. He would sleep here because he like hell wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Still, there was something that he wanted to know.

"Why aren't you in bed?" McCoy asked, and Lee hesitated with an answer.

"I think you guys need all your beds so they took mine to give it to some guy. They said I will have my bed back after 2000 when some of these people will go to their quarters."

Had they really used all their biobeds? Were there really so many injured?

But to hell with them. All his patients had to have decent treatment conditions. He stopped in the middle of the room and turned around to exit it again. Lee held his hand tighter.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"To get you a bed."

"No way. You are getting to your own bed... or couch, whatever, now, or I'll make you."

Damn, he was too tired to argue. He looked at her and thought that she would stick to her promise, so he could just obey her again. He let her sit him on the couch.

"Sleep," she gave him a warm smile which was suddenly replaced with a grimace.

It went away immediately, but McCoy saw it anyway. Some of his strength came back.

"Lee, what's wrong?" he was beside her again, watching her intently.

"Nothing, everything is fine."

"No, it's not. Does anything hurt?"

She shook her head violently and he knew she was lying.

"I'm too tired for this bullshit, girl. Tell me what's wrong before I take my tricorder."

She regarded him for a moment and gave up.

"The lower stomach. Something is not right there."

"And by not right you mean it hurts?"

"Kinda."

Good God, why now?

"Lay here," he pointed at the couch.

She opened her mouth to object, but then saw his expression, closed it, and silently obliged.

He took his tricorder, scanned her and inwardly cursed. He should have expected it. She was healing way too nicely without any complications after such a severe illness. It was too good to be true. Apparently, this complication needed some time to reveal itself. Why hadn't he noticed the signs earlier?

"I think you have an ovarian cyst," he informed wearily, "I'm pretty sure of it, but I still have to take a look."

"You'll do it later," she was sitting again with a frown on her pretty face.

"No, I'm doing it now. God only knows what could happen while I'm asleep."

She didn't make a move to stand, and he rolled his eyes.

"Come on," he gave her a firm look.

She finally nodded and stood, but winced so hard that he had to support her.

"Shit," she hissed.

Okay, he definitely should take a look.

He brought her to a private room that also served as a gynecology ward and hesitated. The Enterprise was a military ship with her officers' duty to follow the CMO's orders, so usually, McCoy performed such examinations himself as the most experienced physician onboard. His female patients didn't have much of a choice, but Lee was a civilian, so according to the regulations, she had a right to choose.

Besides, he was so emotionally compromised that be they in any different medical department, he wouldn't be allowed to even stand near the place where she was treated. He'd missed this cyst, he thought blankly. He had looked at the other her stats and he knew exactly why this complication escaped his attention. He really shouldn't have treated her and he like hell shouldn't make this particular examination.

"I can call for a female nurse if you want," he offered.

He could ask Chapel to do it, he trusted his head nurse enough to let her examine Lee. But part of him didn't want to allow a less experienced medic to do the check-up, though the other part preferred not to become that familiar with these parts of Lee's body in such circumstances.

She solved his dilemma easily.

"I've told you I don't want anyone near me but you. Nothing has changed."

If she felt any uneasiness, she didn't show it. So be it, then. Emotionally compromised or not, he was still the only person who was allowed to touch her.

He helped her to get in the chair, summoned as much professionalism as he could muster, and started the examination.

The first thing he saw wasn't the cyst. The girl was a damn virgin and this fact made him stare and the proof of it like an idiot. He composed himself immediately and went on with the examination, but this new finding almost stunned him.

The damn cyst was there too, of course. He saw everything he needed and finished the exam. It would have been extremely awkward if he hadn't been so exhausted, he thought absent-mindedly. But he was, so he just helped her to climb down, sat on the room's couch and gestured her to join him.

She slowly lowered herself next to him, and even though she didn't let her discomfort be seen, McCoy felt her tension. She was in pain, and she needed surgery now.

God help him.

"So?" she asked, no strain in her voice at all. But he knew better. The cyst that she had must give her hell.

"I was right," he replied, "and you need surgery. There is medication treatment for this, but you are allergic to almost every one of its components, so it's out of the question. We'll get you ready for the surgery in ten minutes."

She abruptly stood up and made two steps back. He watched her movements in silence.

"No," she declared.

"Lee..." McCoy started, but she didn't let him talk.

"There is no way you are doing anything now. You haven't seen yourself. I bet if you close your eyes now, you'll be out in seconds."

Well, that was probably true, but this was what coffee was made for. She really needed this surgery.

"So I won't close my eyes. Don't play with me, girl. I know what I'm doing."

She made another step back, towards the door.

"And I won't let you do it. Try to make me, and I will sit on the cupboard until you have your rest."

McCoy just looked at her. These three exhausting days were taking their toll on him and she was right - he wasn't in condition to perform anything now. M'Benga could do it, but Lee would never let this happen. And what is more important, McCoy wouldn't let the other Doctor do it.

"Fine," he scowled at her.

Lee regarded him intently and then came closer.

"Let's get you to your couch," she said softly, stretching her hand out.

McCoy took her hand but didn't use it to help himself stand. They headed for his office holding hands. Sweet Jesus, she did turn him into a teenager.

He vaguely remembered the decision to keep his distance, but now the wisdom of it escaped him. Lee was radiating comfort that soothed him better than anything. She brought him peace after the hell of a desperate fight for people's lives and he was determined to enjoy the peace as long as possible.

Chapel met them in the middle of sickbay.

"Sir, the Captain wants to speak to you. He is waiting in your office."

"Oh crap," McCoy frowned, "By the way, is it right that we don't have spare biobeds?"

"Yes, Sir," his head nurse said with a neutral expression on her face, not looking at Lee who squeezed his hand a little. A silent plea to just let it go. Fuck it. Fuck it all.

"You'd better find one. Lee needs surgery and I'll do it in five hours. In the meantime, she needs to stay horizontal," he was using his authoritative tone now.

"But Sir, all patients are asleep. We shouldn't wake them up."

Holy fuck, could this day become even more exhausting?

He squeezed Lee's hand tight and led her to one of the most comfortable chairs in his department.

"Stay here. I'll be back soon," he barked and stomped off to meet Jim.

"Where have you been?" his friend exclaimed when he saw the Doctor, "I thought you were done with everyone."

"Lee," McCoy replied quietly, not sure if he had the strength to speak any louder, "She needs a damn surgery."

"But she'll be okay, right?"

"Yeah, I hope so."

"What about our engineers?"

"As you can see, everyone's alive. All of them will be able to stay on the ship after they heal. You'll get your report tomorrow."

"Don't rush it," Jim said sympathetically, "Don't do anything until you feel good enough."

Jim stood.

"I just came here to make sure everything's okay. Good job, by the way. Thanks for saving them all, Bones."

McCoy just waved his hand, "It's kinda in the job description. Now go away and give me some rest."

Jim nodded and left. McCoy waited for a minute and left the office too.

Lee sat where he left her with her arms wrapped around her waist. She was staring blankly at the opposite wall.

"Come with me," he called her and she gave him a weak smile.

When they were in his office again, McCoy made her sit down. Lee looked at him questionably, but he was already loading a hypo and didn't look at her.

"Lay down," he ordered, "You'll sleep here."

"But I don't..."

"I said lay down!" he raised his voice.

She laid down.

"I'll sedate you, so you won't be in pain until the surgery," McCoy explained, leaning down to face her.

"What about you? Will you go to your quarters?"

Uncertainty with a hint of fear. She didn't want him to leave. He wasn't going to do it anyway.

"No. I'll sleep here, in my chair."

"But..."

He gave her a weary look.

"Girl, I'll sleep anywhere right now."

Lee sighed and nodded. McCoy released the sedative into her neck and she went numb.

He removed the white string of her hair from her face and caressed her cheek. Dear God, help him to survive parting ways with her.

He took a deep breath and headed for his chair. He didn't remember falling asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hi guys! Long time no see. I had a life to struggle with, so, unfortunately, I didn't have time for this story. But now I'm here and I thank you for your reviews.

First of all, I really like that my OC is so controversial. I didn't want her to be good or bad, I wanted her to be real, and real people are a mix of good and evil.

Purplestan, the way McCoy calls Lee is a consequence of me reading too many fics with him calling Jim "kid". So we have a "girl". Not my fault, really ;)

As for the request to continue the story. I will not abandon this fic, I can promise you that. This story is my baby, and you don't just abandon your baby. I don't know whether I will have time to update regularly, but I will do my best to publish new chapters as soon as I can.

Finally, I want to give a big shoutout to JularaVon for betareading this. Your help means a lot to me.

And now on with the story. Have fun.

* * *

McCoy swore loudly when the alarm awakened him four and a half hours later. He turned it off and cursed even louder. His whole body ached, the consequence of staying in the chair for a long time. He stretched to make the pain go away and cursed again.

"Well, that was hot," the voice from the couch made him jump. McCoy completely forgot about Lee sleeping near him.

"What exactly? An old man cracking his bones because of sleeping not in his bed?" he huffed.

"No, an unshaved you, swearing loudly and scarily with this delicious accent of yours. That was hot," Lee grinned, but her smile lacked her usual mirth. She was laying on her side and holding her stomach.

McCoy was on his feet in an instant.

"I'm getting you to the OR now."

He'd been sleeping for too long. It was long enough for the sedative to stop working and to make his girl suffer. And had he just called Lee his girl? Well, fuck. McCoy shook his head to make this thought disappear.

He felt horrible. He obviously hadn't rested enough and he didn't possess an ability to be as good as new after a few hours of sleep like he used to be in his youth. Hell, he was too old for this shit.

He checked on his other patients while the OR was being prepared and was pleased to see all engineers healing well. Some of them had even left sickbay already after receiving orders to rest and do not get themselves hurt again.

McCoy had just stopped growling at the ensign with a nasty concussion to make her stay in sickbay when Catto approached him apprehensively.

"Sir, the OR is ready."

He turned around to face her and she winced. Apparently, she didn't share Lee's opinion on his current state. Fuck, he had to look quite scary for the person who had got a taste of his short temper just recently. McCoy tried to remove a scowling expression from his face and attempted to smile.

"Thanks, nurse. Now, where is Chapel? I need her to assist me in this."

Catto's face went white.

"Sir," she said in a trembling voice, "She's in her quarters, all nurses and M'Benga are. We received an order from the Captain to rest. There's no one here"

'Except for you,' McCoy thought. He left Jim's interference in his department's order to make him angry later and gave Catto a measured look.

The surgery was quite simple, so he wouldn't need a lot of people to help him. One nurse would do just fine. Besides, Catto was a good nurse, no matter what he'd said to her. He'd chosen her in Yorktown himself, after all.

But McCoy saw that she was terrified. So would she be able to do what has to be done during the surgery? Would he risk it during Lee's surgery? He sighed.

"Call for Sh'kevon. We can't leave sickbay with no one here. And you prepare yourself for surgery. You'll assist me today."

She gaped at him and didn't respond. McCoy felt his blood boil a little. Then he thought about Joanna.

"Catto?" he called for her calmly.

The nurse composed herself and replied, "Yes, Sir."

McCoy shook his head and prayed to God that it wasn't a mistake and that it wouldn't get his crazy girl hurt.

* * *

Several hours later McCoy was nuzzling a glass of bourbon in his quarters and feeling too old again.

Lee's surgery had gone smoothly. He was surprised to find out that Catto was an excellent assistant: attentive, receptive and fast. He even gave her "good job, nurse" and earned himself a timid smile.

He was mentally comparing Lee and Catto while stomping to his place. The women were both of the same age, almost the same body type and both pretty. Catto could probably be considered sexier than Lee as the former's feminine features were defined better while the latter was still too slim and weak.

But their appearance wasn't the thing. It was the electricity and pure craziness inside the one and the total lack of it in the other that distinguish them drastically and made him desperately, constantly, and madly want Lee. He wanted her so much it hurts, he wanted to hold her, to soothe her and to protect her from the demons she was fighting inside her messy head. He just wanted to be with her so fucking much and had no clue how to make himself stop thinking about her.

And she was a goddamn virgin, for fuck's sake. How was that even possible?

When he'd been preparing for that examination, he'd expected to see anything but this. Her behavior in the bar and with him, in general, suggested that she was quite experienced. God, he thought that Lee was like Jim with his long long list of sexual affairs. Apparently, it was a mistake.

It changed everything. He could give in to her before. She was driving him crazy and he knew that one day he wouldn't have a will strong enough to resist her anymore. Now it wasn't going to happen. What type of a man he would be if he got a virgin laid just to satisfy his, no doubt short-lived, desire? The fire would fade like it always did. And when it was done and when they would have to part their ways, she would regret her decision to lose her innocence with him. He wouldn't let this happen, no way.

He looked at his forgotten drink and put it away. He didn't even want alcohol now. All he wanted was this insufferable crazy woman.

McCoy heard the door open and saw Jim entering his quarters. Lee and Jim were alike in this habit. Both had never heard of knocking.

"How did it go?" his friend asked.

"What 'it'?"

"The surgery."

McCoy shrugged.

"Fine. She's fine and will be ready for new craziness in no time."

Jim nodded and silence fell between them.

"Bones," Jim quietly said, "What's going on between you and Lee?"

McCoy glared at him.

"Nothing."

"I don't think so. I've told you already how you behave when she's around and I've taken a good look at her near you. She's in love or I've never seen a woman in love before."

McCoy sighed. Lee indeed behaved like she was madly in love. But he still thought that everything they both feel wasn't serious.

"It can be a fake or it can be short-lived, Jim. She might be in love, but it doesn't matter that we should start anything."

"I don't think that it's short-lived."

McCoy raised an eyebrow.

"You don't, huh?"

"Yes. Her feelings are not a fake. Or she's the best actress I've ever met. She's into you and you are into her. You should make a move, Bones. It would make you both happy."

McCoy regarded his friend. Did Jim really believe that such relationships would work out? The Doctor remembered his latest finding about Lee and rubbed his eyes. The thing that he was going to say wasn't at all professional, but he would have to put it in his report anyway.

"She is a virgin," McCoy announced blankly.

"What?"

"You've heard me. She's a virgin and I can't just ignore it."

Jim stared at him in disbelief.

"Did she tell you that?"

"I've seen it myself. I had to examine her before the surgery."

Jim shook his head.

"How old is she, again?"

"Twenty-six."

"Holy fuck."

"Exactly."

"But it proves everything if you think about it," Jim said after a short pause, "If she is willing to sleep with you, she's definitely not faking love. Did she hit on you since that night in the bar?"

"It wasn't like that..."

"Did she or did she not?"

McCoy didn't meet his friend's eyes. What was he supposed to answer? Lee didn't do it directly like when they'd first met, but it was obvious that she waited for him to do something. Could it be considered hitting?

"Sort of," he finally replied.

"So just take her."

"I can't."

"But why?" Jim looked annoyed now, "You both are crazy about each other. It's only logical for you to go for it."

McCoy rolled his eyes.

"You sound like Spock."

"Do I really? I must have spent too much time with him because somebody," Jim pointed his finger at McCoy, "Is too busy with his I-wouldn't-take-her-though-I-want-her-like-crazy and do not entertain me."

"Oh, that's so unfortunate."

"It really is," Jim smirked and continued in much more serious tone, "But think about it, okay?"

"We still don't know who she is."

Jim shrugged.

"I think she is a criminal."

McCoy stared at his Captain.

"What?"

"It's the only plausible option. If she was a spy, she would have a nice fairytale to feed us. She has none, but she still doesn't want to talk, so yeah, I think she's a criminal. A con artist, something like that. Doesn't matter."

McCoy couldn't believe it.

"So you are meaning to tell me that you think she's an outlaw, but it's okay and that I should start seeing her? Are you out of your mind?"

Jim's expression didn't change.

"Look, if she is what I think she is, it doesn't mean she's a bad person. I know some criminals who are pretty good guys. And the truth is," Jim hesitated and then went on, "If she's into you, wants to be with you and you want the same, I kinda want her on the _Enterprise_."

Bullshit.

"I'll have to re-evaluate your mental condition because you are definitely insane," McCoy stated.

Jim shook his head.

"No. Have a look at this."

He tossed McCoy a PADD. The Doctor examined the device.

"Is it hers?"

Jim nodded. McCoy grimaced.

"Why did you take it? She would go nuts when she didn't see it."

"Well, I wanted to see what my supposedly dangerous guest is doing on this thing. And the first thing I saw was a solution of the equation that the best Federation minds couldn't solve for years."

Jim switched the PADD on and showed McCoy the screen.

"Do you know what is it?" the Captain asked, pointing at the top of the page.

McCoy snorted.

"Something I would never understand?"

Jim's lips twitched a little.

"Yes, maybe. It's T'ror equation. Some Vulcan came up with it about fifty years ago. Mathematicians were fussing about it since then. No one's managed to solve it for fifty fucking years, and Lee solved it in several hours. She is a genius, and I want her to be a part of the team."

McCoy felt pride and horror creeping inside him. He felt horror because who could say what else this girl was capable of. And as for pride... He had no idea why he felt it.

"I'll offer her a place at my ship," Jim was saying, "But only if you give me a green light. If you want her here, I'll ask her if she wants to stay. So make up your mind and let me know what you decide."

McCoy felt stuck.

"Do you understand what are you asking for?" he quietly said, "And what position it puts me in?"

Jim looked apologetic.

"I know and I am sorry. But tell me honestly: do you want her to be here?"

McCoy didn't respond. Yes, he wanted her to be here. More than anything. Still, he had to listen to his head, not the other parts of his body.

"Our relationships, if we got involved, wouldn't last long. Everything that we are feeling now is most likely short-lived. She is ten years younger than me, for christsake. I can't just ignore this gap."

"First of all, I don't believe it would be short-lived, I already told you that. Second, ten years is not a big deal. And third, you haven't answered the question. Do you want her to stay? Assuming that you would be together."

"But Jim, if we broke up..."

"Do you want it or not?" Jim raised his voice.

"Yes, fuck, yes, I want her to stay!" McCoy responded at the same volume.

Jim closed his eyes and exhaled.

"So stop being a moron. Go for it."

He saw McCoy's skeptical expression and continued, "Look, do you want her because she is pretty?"

McCoy sighed and shook his head.

"So it's love, then," Jim concluded.

McCoy sighed again.

"Jim, I went through this shit before. Divorced, remember? Things were great with Jocelyn until she understood what kind of a person I am. I don't want to live through this again."

Jim's expression changed into something almost cruel.

"Okay, I get it. You are just a coward."

McCoy saw red.

"What did you call me?"

"Coward," Jim repeated, "You've been hurt once and now you are afraid of everything. But hear me out," his friend raised his hand to silence McCoy, "Lee is not your ex. She can handle you and she likes your temper. Hell, she loves your temper and she loves you. She won't run. I know a runner when I see them, and she is not one of them. She is a fighter and she will fight for you."

McCoy glared at his friend.

"You just want your genius onboard."

"I just want you to get your shit together and be happy!" Jim shouted.

Okay, that's enough.

"Are we done?" McCoy asked flatly.

"We're done," Jim responded coldly and stood, "Keep updating me on her condition."

When the door closed behind Jim, McCoy dropped his head on his hands and swore. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What was he supposed to do now?

* * *

Wide smile, bright grass-green eyes, happiness in all features met McCoy the next day when he entered his department. Lee definitely looked better. They fed her well: he personally monitor her nutrition to make sure she was getting every element in the periodic table she needed. She was still weak, though, and he didn't get why it was taking too long to heal from malnutrition. It had to be chronic, otherwise she'd be fine by now.

"Hey you," she softly greeted him.

"Morning," McCoy said coldly.

He was still mad at Jim and was still sure as hell that he needed to keep his distance from her. That moment when they'd been holding hands was a slip. He wouldn't let this happen again.

"Oh, someone's grumpy today?" she raised her eyebrow.

McCoy ignored her question.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine. And how are _you_ feeling?"

"Good, thank you, miss Lee" he replied with the same coldness.

Lee's eyebrow went even higher.

"So now I am a miss, not a girl, huh?"

"You are my patient and I have to call you by name, miss. Even if it's probably a fake one."

She narrowed her eyes. He was in trouble now, but to hell with that. He was in the right mood to fight her just for once.

But nothing happened.

"Where is my PADD?" she asked instead.

Oh, crap. He'd forgotten it in his quarters.

"The Captain wanted to take a look on what you were doing on this thing. I'll bring it back once I'm finished with my other patients," he gestured at sickbay still full of people, "Try to play your little game again, and I'll sedate you."

Lee smiled, and this smile made him shiver. He didn't like this smile.

"Very well, Doctor. I'll wait."

Merciful God above, help him handle this.

* * *

McCoy left her and proceeded to the check-ups of the engineers. There were some complications, as always, but nothing serious.

He felt her eyes on him all the time. She was watching his every move, and it was distracting. He was constantly on high alert, anticipating disaster every second. But she didn't act just yet, and the uncertainty was killing him.

McCoy was almost done when two visitors came in.

Jim and Spock.

The Doctor suddenly realized that he still didn't know the cause and the consequences of the emergency in Engineering. Jim hadn't told him yesterday and McCoy wasn't very talkative with his patients even in his best days.

The Captain and his First Officer were ignoring him, though McCoy received a nod from Spock. The duo moved through sickbay, greeting every patient and having a little talk with each of them. Well, Jim indeed was a great Captain and treated his crew like a family, McCoy thought. And Spock had learned some human stuff during these years too.

Jim and Spock stopped by Lee's bed and her gaze finally left him. McCoy saw them talk, and how a delightful smile appeared on Lee's face. He wished it was him who she was smiling at.

Lee, Jim and Spock finished the conversation and the officers approached McCoy.

"Doctor McCoy," Jim said, "How are our brave engineers doing?"

So the kid was still mad at him. Fuck it. McCoy wasn't very happy with him too.

"They are fine, Captain," McCoy answered impassively, "I'll complete a report once I'm finished here."

"Yes, I'd like to read it. And what about another patient? Is she alright?"

"She's fine too."

"So you don't mind me and Spock playing 3D chess with her?"

So Jim was determined to find every talent that Lee had. Too bad Jim would never have an opportunity to put his hands on these talents.

McCoy preferred the game not to happen. But in this case, he would have both Lee and Jim throwing tantrums and he wasn't sure he could manage that.

So he scowled "Not at all."

Jim nodded and left sickbay with Spock.

McCoy glared at his next patient and ordered her to stretch her arms to access the healing process. Oh, it was gonna be a long day.

* * *

Jim and Spock returned several minutes later with a 3D chess board.

Lee was obviously delighted to participate in the game and was all sunshine and happiness again. Jim was returning her smiles with his usual attitude towards women who he intended to drag to bed.

Imagining Jim and Lee being together like that made McCoy absolutely furious and he had to restrain himself from doing something stupid.

While he was fighting his temper, the game began. It actually attracted some audience. McCoy would watch the game too, but he was too mad at Jim for being a moron and at Lee for being so goddamn beautiful, so he didn't join the crowd. Instead, he finished his last medical exam and decided to retreat to his office. He had enough fights lately. All he needed was some peace and quiet. And besides, he needed to write this fucking report for the kid.

Concentration didn't come easily, so it took more than an hour to do everything properly. Finally, the stupid report was completed, and he got an opportunity to have some free time.

Might as well spend it on watching the game which was still in progress.

One glance at the board revealed that Jim had his ass kicked. The Captain of the starship _Enterprise_ was a good player, a brilliant one, in fact, but Lee was obviously a match. She proclaimed 'checkmate' five minutes after McCoy joined the party.

Jim beamed at his opponent, not frustrated at all.

"Great game, Lee!" he exclaimed, "It was nice to play with you."

"It is mutual, Jim," she smiled back.

McCoy shuddered inwardly at this smile directed at his friend.

"Maybe you would agree to play with Spock here?" Jim suggested, "If you are not tired, of course."

Spock stood closer, confirming the suggestion.

"Oh, I'm not tired at all," Lee assured.

One glance at her vitals proved her claim and took away an excuse to cut the game off. Besides, McCoy was curious to see how Lee was going to beat the Vulcan's iron logic.

They started to play and Lee immediately started losing her figures. If she kept on with that pace, she would lose in a few minutes.

But the game progressed and she was still alive and kicking. Spock was chasing her king through the entire board and she was always a step away from losing. Still, checkmate wasn't called yet. They went on with that dance for a good twenty minutes, and now Lee had only two pawns, the king, and the queen. She removed her king from the dangerous area after Spock's move and moved it almost next to her opponent's king. The Vulcan raised an eyebrow and made a move. Then Lee's queen appeared from nowhere.

"Checkmate," she said politely.

They all gaped at the board like it turned into a mouse. Even Spock looked a little bit shocked, but probably McCoy just knew the Vulcan too well to see it.

Spock's king was trapped between his own and Lee's remaining figures.

"It is amazing how much a king and a queen can achieve together, even with a little help, am I right, Commander?" Lee asked softly.

"Indeed you are right, Miss Lee," Spock replied flatly, "It was my pleasure to play with you. Thank you for your time."

"You are very much welcomed."  
"That was a hell of a game!" Jim, at last, regained his wits, "But I bet you won't be able to repeat this focus again."

"The game has many options, Jim," she said with that mischievous spark in her eyes.

She would win Spock and Jim again, McCoy was sure of it. The girl was a genius. McCoy could understand Jim's desire to have such a brilliant mathematician and tactician at the _Enterprise_.

He caught himself staring at her and looked away. It suddenly became hard to breathe, as if something tightened inside him. Coldness, emptiness and exhaustion after all these emotional outbursts filled all his essence. McCoy just wanted it all to stop.

"A word, Doctor?" Jim suggested, and without waiting for the answer marched to McCoy's office.

He scowled but followed, Spock by his side. McCoy wondered how much of the Vulcan's ego was damaged. He suspected a huge scratch.

"Have you seen that?" Jim was enthusiastically saying when the door closed behind them, "She's destroyed us completely. I told you she'd do great!" The Captain turned to Spock.

"It was indeed an anticipated result, taking miss Lee's analytical skills into account."

"Of course it was!" Jim agreed cheerfully, "So, Bones, what have you decided? Can we get this genius aboard?"

McCoy gave his friend as blank look as possible.

"Sorry, Jim. I don't think it's a good idea for us to be on the same ship. So I guess it's either me or her. Take your pick."

He felt emptiness while saying that. All he wanted was to be with her, but what would happen when it all goes down in flames?

McCoy doubted that Jim would ever choose anyone over him, but the thought of him being away from Lee made him sick. He still had to do it, so that it wouldn't become a complete disaster later. He'd made the right choice.

He expected Jim saying something about the good of the many and about McCoy's own stupidity, but the Captain was silent. Finally, Jim shook his head.

"You're such an idiot," his friend said.

McCoy inwardly agreed.

"An idiot wouldn't run this sickbay as well as I do."

"Yeah, sure," Jim's face was blank now too, "We'll leave it to you then, Doctor."

The Captain marched out of the office and Spock followed after giving McCoy a 'we will see you later, Doctor McCoy.'

He leaned on his desk, lowered his head and closed his eyes. He wanted to scream, not swear or argue, just scream at the top of his lungs until his throat die. Maybe it would take away the raging fire that was burning him inside. Or maybe it was hell taking over him with a help of this red-headed devil? Who knew. He definitely didn't.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for disappearing again, but you know, life happens. I travel a lot and I work a lot to be able to travel a lot, so I don't have much time to write. Still, the story IS NOT on hiatus.

Special thanks to JularaVon for betareading the story. And thanks for all your reviews. Your words are a great reward for all that work, so really, thank you.

This chapter is short, but I figured that short chapter is better than no chapter =) So we have what we have. I hope you'll enjoy.

* * *

McCoy finally found out what had happened in Engineering only when Scotty visited his subordinates in sickbay. Judging by the look of the Chief Engineer, Scott spent all the time since the emergency cleaning up the mess after it. In other words, Scotty looked like hell, and McCoy could only sympathize with him.

"So, what happened?" the Doctor asked, giving the engineer a hypo with a mild analgesic.

"One of the warp core's wires overheated," Scott replied wearily, barely reacting at McCoy's fuss around him, "It made a spark that another wire caught. It created a chain of explosions. A pure coincidence, but it dropped us out of warp. I don't know when I'll fix it. Maybe in two days, not earlier."

McCoy stopped loading the next hypo, and it occurred to him that he couldn't hear or feel a usual hum of the warp core. The sound had disappeared almost two days ago, but he hadn't noticed it until now. Fuck. It all was Lee's fault.

"I wasn't there," Scotty continued his tale, "If I was, it wouldn't be such a disaster. I should have been there."

"It's not your fault," McCoy pointed out.

"No, it is. I am responsible for all these lads and lassies in my department. And now half of them got themselves burned. I should have been there, not drinking Romulan ale with Keenser."

McCoy raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on this Romulan ale confession. Everyone was relaxing in their own ways. Who was he to judge? He was quite fond of his bourbon too.

"I should have been there," Scotty repeated.

It was ridiculous, of course, to feel guilt because of the situation you couldn't foresee or control. But it was a part of the human psyche, so McCoy decided not to play a shrink and just poured the engineer a glass of bourbon that Scott accepted gladly. McCoy would also have a drink, but he still had sickbay full of patients and one devil that wasn't exactly happy with him lately. So the Doctor didn't allow himself a glass of his favorite drink.

Scotty left shortly after that and a minute later McCoy had a visitor again.

"What's wrong with you today?" Lee asked when the door closed.

She was approaching him, so McCoy made a step back, despite his urge to meet her halfway and just take her into his embrace. He missed her, missed her soft smile, her gentle touches, and her bright eyes. And he'd only spent a day without her, damnit. He needed an antidote to her. Now.

"Nothing unusual," he replied taking another step back, "You should return to your bed."

"No, I shouldn't" she firmly stated and grabbed his upper arm, "Stop running away from me."

It was more than he could take. Her touch was electrifying, and it set his whole body on fire. If they kept on touching, he would lose control in seconds. So he snatched his arm out of her grip.

He did it with too much force and Lee, having not expected this, was thrown back. She collided with a shelf behind her with a gasp. It was an unlucky fall. Her shoulder blade met a sharp edge of the shelf and pain crossed her face.

"Oh shit, sorry, girl, I'm so sorry," he dropped his detachment instantly and reached for her. Crap, he'd always been so gentle with her and now he'd hurt her.

Apparently, she thought the same thing because the next moment a grimace of pain was replaced with a cold rage.

"You son of a bitch," she hissed and blindly took something from the shelf that appeared to be a box with empty hypos. The box collided with his shoulder the next second and McCoy released a cry of pain. She wasn't satisfied, though. Other boxes and different objects were flying in his direction now with an astonishing accuracy.

He had to stop her, which meant that he had to grab her and make her calm down. She understood his intention and ducked away, without interrupting throwing everything she could reach at him.

"Fuck, girl, stop it! I told you I'm sorry! I didn't want to hurt you!" he tried to calm her down again. She didn't listen.

Now he understood what M'Benga had meant about the girl being fast. Her movements were graceful, performed with impressive speed.

He was chasing her around his desk while she kept on throwing everything she saw in a complete silence.

"Damnit, Lee, I said I'm sorry!" he shouted, barely avoiding a PADD directed at his head.

"You promised!" she growled from across the desk, "You lying bastard."

Oh, fuck. This 'won't let you fall' thing. He screwed up badly, then.

"Lee, please…" he begged, but she didn't listen. Instead, she sent another PADD flying to him.

Okay, that was enough. McCoy jumped on the desk and ran to her. She turned on her heels and headed for the door, crashing everything on her way. He had to catch her somehow, damnit.

But she was in the main room already. He heard a sound of shattered glass and surprised cries. She decided to ravage his department in revenge. Shit, shit, shit.

He stormed out of the room and saw her standing on one of the biobeds and kicking blankets from it on the floor. The engineers and the medics stared at Lee in complete shock. McCoy raced to her with a roar "Girl, stop it, now!"

She looked at him and he didn't see the girl he knew. What he saw was a demon, a furious creature that would destroy everything in its way. Lee's eyes, usually green and bright, were almost black now. He tried to reach her again, but she started to jump from one bed to another, not bothering if the bed was empty.

The peripheral vision told McCoy that his staff went out of stupor and hurried to help him. _I won't allow them anywhere near me_ he heard her voice from the past.

"Leave it!" he yelled at the nurses and M'Benga, "I'll handle it!"

Something heavy almost threw him on his knees. McCoy turned around and saw Lee inches apart. For one split second, he hoped that it was it, but he should know better. The furious witch that took his Lee away from him was directly attacking him now, her newly regenerated nails put into action. He felt blood running down his cheek after its skin contact with Lee's nails. God, she could scratch hard. He tried to catch her arms, but she whirled in his arms and was too far to catch her again.

He noticed M'Benga with a hypo in his hands, approaching Lee from behind. If they knock her out like this now, he'd never be able to reach her.

"I said leave it!" he howled to the other Doctor and turned to the girl, "Lee, please, calm down. I won't hurt you, just stop, girl, please. You can hurt yourself."

She snarled and ran to her favorite cupboard. Well, that's just typical.

"Don't let her get to that thing!" he heard M'Benga's shouting. Two nurses blocked Lee from the shelf, so she changed her direction instantly. She almost collided with six security officers who entered sickbay in this very moment. M'Benga must have sent for them.

The security officers accessed the situation fast and dispersed in different directions, blocking Lee from running out of the room. She ducked and barely avoid a security officer's arm.

"I order you to stop, or we will use phasers," the leader of the group, Lieutenant Alcantar firmly said.

She didn't stop, of course she didn't. She was flying around sickbay like a flash and wasn't going to ever stop.

"No phasers!" McCoy shouted.

Not if he could help it. God, what should he do?

She flew past the security like mercury, but there were two more officers, and they finally caught her. Then hell broke loose.

Lee shrieked and shook so violently like there were a million panicking girls instead of one. All present security officers were holding her in place. M'Benga approached her with a hypo, ready to sedate her. When Lee saw the hypo, she abruptly went completely still. She looked at McCoy and he saw an acute panic of a haunted beast.

"M'Benga, stop, that's an order!" he roared, and his subordinate halted his steps. McCoy approached his violent patient, firmly held by four officers, the other two were pointing phasers at her.

"If I tell them to release you," he asked, "will you stop this madness?"

She nodded.

"Let her go," McCoy said to the security. They hesitated.

"Sir, she possesses a real threat to the crew. We should sedate her and lock her up," Alcantar objected and boldly met his gaze. The kid wasn't afraid of him. A fierce one, McCoy had to admit. It didn't matter though.

"It wasn't a request, Lieutenant," he raised his voice a little, "I said let her go. That's an order."

Technically speaking, they weren't obliged to obey his orders: they reported only to the head of their department and to Jim. But McCoy was a commanding officer and had a reputation of a man who could make their lives exceptionally miserable.

"Yes, sir," Alcantar said after a short pause and nodded to his guys. They reluctantly loosed their grip.

Lee immediately broke free and rushed to McCoy, but something stopped her. She froze in the middle of sickbay, her eyes still dark and empty. When he made a step toward her, she turned on her heels and ran to his office.

"Sir, we have to report on this to the Captain," Alcantar pointed out.

"Do what you fucking please," McCoy barked in response and followed his personal devil to the CMO's office.


	12. Chapter 12

The office had no signs of Lee. McCoy shook his head and issued a privacy mode. In theory, he knew how to deal with such outbursts. He knew the techniques and the tactics. He also knew that emotionally compromised doctors shouldn't treat any patients, let alone the ones who the doctors hold dear.

The wall comm. beeped and McCoy knew who was calling.

"McCoy," he snapped.

" _Bones! What the fuck is going on?_ " Jim's voice was full of worry, " _Alcantar just said our guest's destroyed sickbay_."

"Just broke some glasses, not a big deal. It was just a little misunderstanding."

" _A little misunderstanding?_ " Jim's voice sounded angry now, " _She is dangerous!_ "

"She is emotionally unstable and I'm going to sort this out if you don't mind. McCoy out."

He ended the connection and looked around. So it was hide-and-seek, very well. A typical behavior of someone who'd got themselves hurt and now was hiding from every possible danger that their mind was able to come up with.

He didn't have to play for long, though, as he found his patient in the far corner of the office. Lee sat on the floor, fit a small space between a couch and a wall, and seemed totally insane. She looked as small and young as ever, and at the back of his mind, McCoy once again wondered how on earth a twenty-six old woman could make an impression of a sixteen-year-old teenager.

McCoy sighed. Time to face the music.

"Hey girl, it's me, okay? Mind if I come closer?"

She didn't respond, busy with rocking back and forth and breathing heavily. McCoy came closer and tried to reach for her. He didn't think it was possible to make herself even smaller, but she managed just that. She flinched from his touch, desperately trying to penetrate the wall.

"Okay, okay," he pulled his hand back. "No touching. I'll just sit here, alright? I won't touch you, I promise."

She looked at him and his breath hitched. He saw abyss. Black, endless holes with raw fear, agony, and pain. Dear God, what had he done?

Lee was hyperventilating, her breath coming in uneven, shaky pants. She was thrashing violently and didn't seem to recognize him.

A panic attack. Damn, if she didn't calm down soon, with such an unstable heart like hers she'd have a heart attack. He had to act fast.

He kneeled in front of her within arm's reach, earning himself a wince away.

"Okay, girl, I need you to listen to me," McCoy said softly. "You are breathing very fast. You have to stop doing this or you'll pass out."

She closed her eyes, keeping on her shallow breathing and shaking.

"Look at me, darling, I need you to look at me. Please."

She obeyed and he met this haunted look again.

"Good girl. Now focus on my voice. Let's breathe together, okay? Breathe in, breathe out, in, out…"

He kept on talking to her, breathing with her, and slowly, gradually, she resumed a slightly normal way of inhaling air. She stopped thrashing and the fear in her eyes was fading away.

"That's it, keep on breathing," McCoy was saying, slightly shaking himself. "You are doing great, just keep on. Breathe in, breathe out, you can do this."

She was calming down, he could see it, but her panic might return. So he went on.

"I'm here and I won't hurt you," he assured, holding her gaze. "I won't let anyone hurt you. You are safe, everything is fine, I swear. No one's gonna hurt you anymore."

She was breathing deeply now, and green color was returning to her eyes, replacing pinched-black one. Then he saw what he craved to see for many minutes - recognition. She recognized him finally. There was a question if she trusted him, though.

"Leo," her voice was nearly audible, but it was there. She was calling for him.

He smiled at her, relief flooded all his senses.

"Yes, it's me."

"Leo," she said loudly.

"I'm here, girl. I'm sorry it all happened to you, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, never wanted to. Please, forgive me. I will never do it again."

He was rambling, but he didn't care. She was with him again, and it was all that matters.

She whimpered and rushed to him, landing in his arms and clutching at him with a death grip. He held her close, putting her on his lap. She was crying hysterically, but it was so much better than a silent panic in the corner on the floor.

He was rocking them both, whispering soothing nonsense and rubbing her back. His shoulder that earlier was bumped with a box and that Lee chose to hide her face in was giving him hell, but McCoy ignored it. Their embrace was tight, tighter than he ever experienced, but it was okay. Until she allowed him to touch her, it was fine.

Eventually, she calmed down, and now only the sound of her heavy breath interrupted the silence.

"I'm sorry," she suddenly whispered. "Fuck, Leo, I'm sorry."

He stared at her bewilderingly.

"Sorry for what exactly? I was the one who threw you at the damn shelf. I shouldn't be so rude. I am the one to blame."

Lee shook her head and McCoy's shoulder screamed in protest. He held her closer.

"I had absolutely no right to freak out like that. You didn't mean it, it was an accident. And I turned on a complete bitch and destroyed your department. I'm sorry, I really am."

McCoy couldn't believe it. She was actually apologizing.

Unbelievable.

He sighed and removed a white string of her hair from her face.

"You had a panic attack, you couldn't help it. It was me who caused it. I won't let this happen again."

She said nothing. Instead, she hid into his shoulder one more time and hugged him tighter.

McCoy said he won't let anyone hurt her and he meant it. He would do everything in his power to make her safe because he was probably the only person who knew exactly how fragile she was. So he hugged her back and buried his face in her hair.

They sat like this for eternity, clutching at each other for dear life. Time and space disappeared and left them in a deep void without anyone or anything that could possibly separate them.

When the first eternity ended and the second began, Lee shifted and made McCoy look at her. He saw a spark of her usual playfulness and thanked God for this change.

"Look," she said in an almost normal tone. "I know I'm on a diet and all… But is there a possibility of you giving me something stronger than water?"

He chuckled. "You are indeed. But as you're a good girl… I'll see what can be done."

He lifted her up and put her on the couch.

"Wait here, I'll find you something."

This something was a good old Jack Daniels, which he poured generously in two glasses. As a doctor, he understood that he shouldn't be doing this. But as a human being and a drinker himself, he knew the power of alcohol. This is why he allowed his doctor instincts to be silent for a while and just be her friend, not her physician. So he gave her the glass which she emptied in one gulp. It remembered him of the night they met.

"I'm so fucked up," she announced with a weak smile. "Can I have more?"

McCoy poured her more of the good stuff, lowered himself on the couch and said "We all are fucked up, Lee. Show me a person who is not, and I show you the rarest creature in the universe. We all have demons, and this is the only thing that is normal."

She huffed, leaned back at the wall and smiled warmly at him. God bless that smile.

"I think I should help you to clean up this mess," she gestured at the ravaged office.

"You definitely should. I like those hypos, you know," he nodded at the objects in question, spread all over the floor.

She smirked. "I bet you do."

"But first, we have to clean you up," he continued. "You look like crap."

She shrugged and he stood.

"Promise me to behave the next five minutes. I"ll go get a skin regenerator to fix those up," he gestured at her arms covered in blue and yellow bruises - the consequence of the encounter with the Enterprise security. She looked at her arms and frowned.

"You have my word."

He gave her a reassuring smile and exited the office. Sickbay was clean again, his staff on their places, all doing their usual work. They stopped it the second he crossed the entrance, so all their eyes were on him. McCoy scowled and strode to the cupboard with skin regenerators.

"Sir," his head nurse appeared from nowhere and blocked him from the desired destination. "The Capitan has been here. He tried to call you, but you muted your comm., so he left and asked you to contact him as soon as possible."

McCoy didn't fight that irritation that crept onto his face.

"Thanks, nurse. I'll contact him."

He probably should do it now, McCoy thought. Sooner or later, he had to answer for Lee's stunts. There's no running away.

He snatched his personal comm. and, ignoring the patients' and personnel's looks, called Jim.

He was greeted with a half-annoyed, half-relieved snarl.

" _Bones! You're alive!_ "

"Of course I am. It just took time to calm her down."

He turned his back to the rest of sickbay and went on in a much lower tone. "Look, I have just caused a horrible panic attack and I don't want it to repeat. So give me some time with her, alright?"

Jim sighed.

" _Alright, you've got it. But do not let this happen again or I promise, I'll lock her up. I have to take care of the crew, you know that._ "

He grimaced but agreed to these terms. Then Jim ended the connection and McCoy turned to skin regenerators. It was time to patch up this crazy woman again.

* * *

McCoy found Lee at the same place and the same position that he left her. When he came closer, she raised her head, smiled, and he forgot how to breathe. He missed this smile. God, he missed this light emitting from her only for him.

"How do you feel?" he asked, taking her face and inspecting cuts and scratches.

"Fine, actually," she replied, looking, in fact, pretty okay.

"It can't be said about your outfit," he noticed just now how torn her robe was.

She gave him a sheepish look.

"Yeah, I guess I need a new dress."

He would have to leave her again to get her a new robe.

Fuck it, he'll do it later.

"You'll get your shopping tomorrow. I'll give you something to wear in the meantime."

When McCoy first became a CMO, he wasted a lot of time running between his quarters and sickbay. As time passed and it became clear that nobody was going to replace him on this position, he made his own adjustments. Now his office could be used as an actual living place. This place included a shower, which, in turn, made him bring here some clothes to change. This clothes he was going to give Lee now.

"There," he dropped his shorts and T-shirt in front of her. "Change into this."

She beamed at him and took her shattered robe off immediately, without even giving him an opportunity to turn around. And when he saw her naked, he couldn't take his gaze away.

Mainly because he observed some huge, gruesome bruises on her skin. The places of contact with security officers' hands. He looked at her and did his best to stay calm because what he really wanted was to go out and find someone who did this to her.

"Okay," he finally found his voice again, "Let's fix this. You can get dressed a little if you're uncomfortable."

"Nah, it's okay," her smile wasn't innocent now, but sex was the last thing in his mind now. So he set skin regenerator to work.

"Turn around," he ordered, and when she did, he had to suppress a gasp.

He saw the wound that appeared on her body because of him. One bad blue bruise with some nasty cuts with blood on it.

"It wasn't your fault," she said quietly.

"Like hell it wasn't." Guilt washed over him. He'd never be that carefree with her again.

He finished his work and told her to dress up, which she did quite reluctantly.

"You know, this is the first time I am ordered to get dressed, not undressed," she smirked and the next second almost visibly bit her tongue, "Never mind."

He stared at her in shock, taking in all that this confession implied. She obviously took a defensive stance, ready to retort any of his comments. He sighed and thought that he probably wouldn't want to talk about it either.

So he let it slip.

"It looks good on you," he said instead and she relaxed.

"It feels good too. It smells like you."

And he was blushing again. She shook her head in amusement.

"Now it's your turn to take your clothes off," she stated.

He raised his eyebrow. "What?"

"I must have beaten you pretty badly. You patched me up. Let me return the favor."

He rolled his eyes.

"So now you're a doctor."

"I know how to use this thing," she nodded at the regenerator with a smile.

"Read about it?"

"Maybe," she was clearly having fun, "Now, move. Let's take a look."

McCoy considered the situation. She did bash him qualitatively and the outcomes of it were going to bother him very soon. Besides, he didn't want to go to any other medic. So he shrugged and obeyed. Lee's eyes widened when she saw his bare skin.

"Oh, damn."

She touched his chest and he fought back a hiss of pain. Her aim was indeed perfect and it was now evident in the black and blue colors at his upper body.

"Sorry", she jerked her hand away, looking as guilty as he had probably looked a minute ago, and began her treatment.

She was surprisingly good at it. But he had yet to discover what she did on not an excellent level. She proceeded to the cuts on his face and sealed them too. Then she put the regenerator down and return both her hands on his cheeks. Her face was so close now, and all the attraction that he felt for her and that was pushed away for a while, returned.

"Leo," she exhaled and he shivered. The expression in her eyes ordered him to kiss her and was almost impossible to fight.

But it wasn't the right time. He really shouldn't take advantage of her extremely vulnerable state. What is more important, she didn't need it too. She just wasn't aware of that yet.

McCoy closed his eyes and leaned just a little closer to make their foreheads touch.

"We shouldn't do this now, Lee," he made himself say.

He didn't need to see her to know that she rolled her eyes.

"This is stupid," she asserted, "It's like back in the bar. We should do it if we want. That's simple."

He reached for her cheek and caressed it without opening his eyes.

"Let's make a deal. If tomorrow you are still in a mood to do it, we'll do it."

She backed away and laughed, receiving a puzzled look from him.

"Oh my goodness, you men are so stupid… It's ridiculous sometimes, really." Her laughs died, but the amusement stayed. "You've got your deal."

She placed her palm on his chest and traced it down his abdomen. This was maddening and she was doing it on purpose, but he managed to maintain his self-control.

"Now, you need to feed me," she claimed.

McCoy blinked. He expected anything but this request. She laughed again.

"I'm hungry. Do you have anything that can fix this? Preferably tasty, not this usual crap I am forced to eat."

He snored and put his shirt back on.

"You deviated from your diet pretty badly today, miss."

She huffed.

"Just give me something or I will starve to death in the next five minutes."

"Hold on for the next ten, and you won't be disappointed."

He approached a food-replicator and concluded that he'd broken too many resolutions and rules already today, so another one wouldn't hurt. This is why instead of oatmeal he ordered ten pancakes with strawberry jam that Lee for some reason wasn't allergic to.

"Tea or coffee?" he asked.

"Tea. And make that two. You drink too much caffeine. It's not very healthy, you know," she asserted in edifying voice.

"Don't tell me what is healthy and what is not. I'm the doctor here."

She giggled and he decided that he would never be tired of this sweet sound.

"Sometimes you act like a toddler, not like an M.D."

He shrugged but ordered two cups of tea.

When he put pancakes in front of her, her eyes slightly widened.

"Oh my God," she took one and ate it in three big bites. "Oh my God," she repeated and consumed another with the same dedication. "I haven't had it for ages."

He grinned. "Homemade recipe. Jim is fond of them too. This is why he programmed it to the replicator."

"This is how paradise must be tasted," she moaned and took the fourth pancake.

He laughed at her and joined her on the couch. As it turned out, ten pancakes weren't enough, and they made ten more to satisfy their hunger. They chatted about nothing and it was so relaxing and natural he almost forgot about her previous emotional breakout.

Talking with her was fun. She was an intelligent, obviously highly-educated woman who seemed to know practically everything. They laughed and argued and made amends, and McCoy decided that spending time like this was something they both needed. Just some unimportant conversation with nothing underneath the words, without second-guessing and searching for deep meaning. Just Lee, McCoy and a heated scientific discussion about the possibility of Admiral Komack being a vampire.

* * *

"Were you surprised?" she suddenly asked.  
"Surprised about what?"

Their conversation slowed down a bit, a consequence of too many eaten pancakes.

"To know that I'm a virgin," she clarified after a moment of hesitation.

He paused before replying. He was leaning heavily on the couch and thought about this in a more relaxed way than he did previously.

"Maybe a little," he finally said, "But you were so adamant about no one touching you, so I guess it wasn't a big surprise."

Lee was quiet for a while.

"You can touch me," she said after a long pause.

The significance of this confession hit him even in this dazed state. She looked a little bit uneasy, so unlike her usual confidence around him.

At this moment he finally admitted that he indeed loved her. Christ, he really loved her, especially when she was so insecure and vulnerable.

"Yes," he smiled and lifted his hand to caress her face, "I guess I can."

She leaned into the touch, radiating happiness like the sun was radiating heat. It was warm, comforting, and it melted some coldness and loneliness inside him. The three words that described his feelings well were already on his lips when she yawned and stretched. He bit his tongue and frowned.

"Tired?"

"Yeah, a little. I guess I have to go to my bed," she said reluctantly.

He regarded her and understood perfectly clear that there is no way he was letting her go now.

"No," he stated, "You are staying here."

McCoy got up to get her a blanket and a pillow. When he turned around, he saw tears in her eyes. He was beside her instantly.

"What's up, girl?" he demanded, wiping tears that were streaming down her cheeks, "If you don't wanna stay, I'll…"

She interrupted him with a hard hug.

"No," she whispered into his neck, "I want to stay. I just… It was just nice to hear you saying that."

He took her into a tight embrace and planted a small kiss on the top of her crazy head. She inhaled sharply when he did that and almost crushed him with her grip.

He wondered if the words would ever be able to describe what was happening between them. A simple 'I love you' seemed fake and lame to him now. 'I love you' would definitely not be able to express everything that he felt in this moment. And 'I love you' wasn't needed. They'd already confessed their love today through simple gestures, touches, and words that acquired a new meaning just because it was they who voiced those words. Love was vibrating between them in sync with the beating of their hearts, celebrating an unannounced union.

When later they were falling asleep in each other's arms, McCoy decided that he'd never felt so much bliss inside him. And whatever happens next, this moment would always stay with him. No matter what.


	13. Chapter 13

Light and gentle touches of someone's fingers wakened McCoy several hours later. The fingers were drawing small circles on his chest, and these familiar gestures gave him a clue of who was doing it.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Lee murmured and proceeded to his hair, playing with it like it was a toy she'd always wanted.

"Morning," McCoy muttered without opening his eyes, still half-asleep.

Laying like this was nice. It was a long-forgotten feeling of cozy Saturday mornings in Atlanta when he knew all his week's shifts were over and he had a full day to do nothing and be comfortable with that. He forgot when was the last time he felt this bliss of slow mornings without a need to run somewhere, save someone or kill someone. Great feeling. So he did his best to prolong it.

"It's 0638 if it interests you," the little woman in his arms informed, "I wasn't sure when you usually get up, so I've decided to wake you up and ask."

"I had to be up 38 minutes ago," McCoy grumped but didn't move. If you move, you lose this feeling. He knew that.

Their position was too comfy. But he knew how to make it comfier. He drew her closer, and she cuddled to him too. Yes. This felt like heaven. And he wasn't going to abandon it just yet.

But as his half-asleep state was fading, other thoughts crept into his mind. McCoy recalled yesterday events and his careless decision to ask Lee to stay. He remembered how they almost kissed and how he promised her to do it later if she wouldn't change her mind.

What the hell had he been thinking?

She was crazy. And it wasn't a figure of speech. It was a medical diagnosis he didn't have to be a psychiatrist to form. Now it was clear that she had several mental disorders, including PTSD. Christ, someone had tortured her just recently, and she definitely didn't recover from it.

What he'd done yesterday was absolutely unacceptable. He'd spent the night with her, for fuck's sake. How had he ever allowed so huge lapse of judgment?

Thank God he hadn't done anything stupid, or it might have resulted in losing his medical license. Hell, even innocent sleeping with his mentally ill patient would result in losing his license, if anyone ever found out.

And people would find out. His staff and a half on the ship's engineers were in sickbay and knew McCoy and Lee spent the night together, in his office. Of course, he could claim they didn't share a bed, but would Lee be silent about it?

Fuck, what was he thinking?

"Leo, what's wrong?" Lee's voice was serious, and he realized that she was frowning at him, resting her head on his chest.

He stared at her. What was he supposed to say? Sorry I slept with you? Sorry I promised to kiss you? Sorry I couldn't keep my shit together?

"We should get up," he said and freed himself from her embrace. Hell, he should ask her to keep this night a secret.

She let him go and stood in front of him.

"Leonard," she quietly said, "Please, tell me what's wrong. Please."

Her use of his full name probably meant that she was genuinely worried.

Did he really decide to give these relationships a go? Her insanity must have been contagious, how else could he possibly make this decision? He looked at her, unable to say anything at least remotely appropriate.

"Have I got you into trouble?" she asked, "You had to let me stay here, and now everyone knows we slept in the same room. And as we slept not just in the same room, but in the same bed, you may have serious problems, am I right?"

He gaped at her. Well, what did he expected? She was a smart girl. She could add two and two and get the right result.

"Leo," she went on, "Everything that's happening between us will stay between us. No one will ever know about this night, I promise. We can always say you slept in your chair as you did after this Engineering emergency."

"It isn't just about anyone finds out," he found his voice again, "Regulations aside, I didn't have a moral right to sleep with you. You are vulnerable, and I took advantage…"

"Stop," she interrupted him sharply, "Just stop. I know what you are trying to say. You are trying to say I am insane and that I needed comfort and that it didn't matter who could give it to me. You are trying to say I didn't know what I was doing."

She stood closer.

"But this is complete bullshit, Leo. Yes, I needed comfort, but not because I'm fucked up and you just happened to be there. No, I wanted this because this is you. I may be messed up, but I am not that messed up. I knew what I was doing. And I know it now."

God, he wanted to kiss her. He craved to kiss her and desperately wished that she would do it because he wouldn't be able to stop her. And he as well wouldn't be able to to make a move himself.

But she didn't move this time. Her eyes were red, yet she didn't cry, so it was probably a sign of acute anger.

"Everything that is happening between us is not a result of my mental state, as you might think. It's a result of me liking you and you liking me. That's all."

"I…" McCoy really didn't know what to say.

"I slept on the couch," she stated, not waiting for him to came up with the right words, "and you slept there," she pointed at his chair, "and we never touched more than it was necessary."

"Lee, it was all wrong…"

Fuck, it was so damn hard to admit what he really felt for his mentally ill patient and had decided to try something more than friendly smiles.

"Oh fuck," she threw her hands in exasperation and collapsed on the couch, hiding her face.

"Lee," he quietly said, "you do have mental health issues. You have to sort this out before you decide if you really want something like… Like what we did in the bar. Until then, you can't be sure this is your decision, not your state's consequence."

"Shut up," she hissed and looked at him. This impassive mask of hers was on again. "You made your point. You think I am crazy and there is nothing I can do to prove you wrong. So just shut up. Bring me a robe and I'll go to my bed."

She leaned back, folded her arms and looked away. All he could do was to follow the order.

A half of an hour later she settled in her bed again. She didn't spare him a single glance since this tirade in his office and now was sufficiently ignoring him.

It was for the best, he thought. She definitely had PTSD, panic disorder, and probably other related mental issues. She didn't know what she was doing.

But these thoughts didn't bring him comfort. All he wanted was to beat his head against a wall until the image of her smiling at him vanished completely.

He checked on her vitals and issued a detail heart scan.

"Doctor," she called him, her voice neutral.

"What's up, Lee?"

Please, say something to prove me wrong, he inwardly begged, say something that made me believe you.

"Where is my PADD?"

His heart sunk.

"I'll bring it to you in ten minutes."

She nodded and turned away.

* * *

Thankfully, Jim didn't ask uncomfortable questions. He just gave McCoy a sympathetic look and reminded him of the necessity to control Lee. Then the Captain of the _Enterprise_ flew away to do his captainy things, leaving McCoy with sickbay full of curious patients and one patient that wasn't curious at all.

McCoy didn't remember how this day ended. He was doing something. His staff was doing something. His patients were doing something, but what exactly — he couldn't tell for the death of him. He also didn't remember how he ended up in his office, a PADD in his hands, trying to read one of his medic's thesis. He promised to take a look and now was trying to fulfill the promise. Unfortunately, he didn't comprehend a word. He was thinking of Lee, missing her sitting here with her head on his shoulder and her small body that gave him warmth and comfort. Damn her. He threw the PADD on the desk and exited the office.

She was lying still and seemed asleep at first glance. Only her vitals were betraying her. She was awake and judging by her heart rate, aware that it was him standing beside her. Or maybe she didn't bother to control it as she'd done during her first interrogation here.

He checked that report on her heart condition about an hour ago. It wasn't promising. She had a tendency to several cordial diseases and weak aortas. In fact, she needed surgery, but when he tried to talk with her about this, she refused. He didn't push. She was stubborn enough to refuse anything he had to ask, and he was devastated enough to fight her.

He fought back the urge to take her hand. He didn't have the right to touch her like this. And he'd never had it. These days with her were a dream. Time to wake up.

God help him.

He returned to the thesis.

* * *

0100 blinked at the clock when McCoy finally gave up on understanding anything in the paper. He highly doubted that he'd be able to sleep, though. Besides, he didn't have a will strong enough to leave sickbay. To leave Lee. He closed his eyes and wished to God for her to came here and hug him, tell him he is an absolute idiot and that he shouldn't have treated her like that.

He heard the door hiss and opened his eyes. Lee stood at the doorframe and looked absolutely lost. She stood here for a good minute just looking at him and McCoy looking back at her. Then she moved, and he didn't register when she stopped being still and appeared at his side, practically sitting at him and clutching at him widely.

The right thing to do now was to find a good sedative and send her to sleep. But when did he ever act right?

He held her close and put her on his lap.

"What's up, Lee?" he demanded, running soothing circles on her back. She didn't respond, just buried her face in his chest. Must be another panic attack, he thought and started to rock them both back and forth. Her grip tightened painfully, but he didn't object. If this was what she needed, then fine. He'd manage that.

The next second she broke apart, pushing off of him and of the chair. She half-sat on his desk and looked down.

"Lee…"

He stood and lifted her chin, making her look at him. He saw this grass-green, bewitching eyes, and he saw tears in them. He moved to take her in his arms, but she jerked away.

"I can't stay away," she whispered, her voice cracking, "I thought I could, but I can't. I know that you think I'm crazy and maybe you're right, but it doesn't change a thing."

She took a deep breath.

"It's so bloody unfair," she continued, "You drew me closer, then you push me away, and then you do it again and again and again. And you know what?"

Anger flashed in her eyes.

"You are doing it because it scares you. You are hiding behind this mental illness thing because you are afraid that I may actually be aware of my actions and that you have to act and at least admit that something is happening between us. You fear that we try something and it won't work out, so you'll be hurt again, like when your marriage collapsed."

She wiped tears with a back of her hand.

"But know that: I'm not fucking crazy. I've seen shit, yes, but it didn't break me. It is you who is doing it now because of you damn fear."

She squared her shoulders.

"And maybe you're right and it won't work out. Maybe we have no future. But I want you to admit that it was you who didn't even allow us to try and that you did it because you're afraid, not because it's not right from the point of view of your goddamn professional integrity."

He stared at her in dismay. She sounded so broken and so undeniably logical, so like a woman who was dumped, not like who had several mental disorders. And she was right. He brought her closer and then distanced himself several times. Still, she always accepted him when his mind was changing from cold to hot again.

You are a coward, Jim said to McCoy, and Jim was right, as was Lee.

He was afraid to take the risk again, after everything that had happened with Joycelyn, after all the pain he'd had to go through. He was afraid he wasn't good enough.

He looked in her eyes and saw pain. It was a reflection of his own that he'd felt when his wife had told him she can't stand him anymore. It meant that Lee wasn't exactly crazy. She was just hurt, and he was the one responsible. This is why there was no reason to hesitate anymore.

McCoy made a step forward, grabbed her waist with one hand, her head with another hand, took her closer and kissed her hard.

She obviously didn't expect that, but when the realization came, she wrapped her hands around his neck and kissed him back.

"You're an absolute asshole," she whispered between their kisses, "I hate you so much."

He silenced her with another kiss, and she responded in kind, drawing as close to him as possible.

She was crazy, but she wasn't insane. So fuck the rules and fuck the regulations. Jim would help him sort things out if something goes wrong. He loved this woman, and he would do everything in his power to make these relationships work.

She hopped on his desk with her legs parted and he stood between them, holding her waist with both hands.

"Privacy," he growled into her neck, and the computer made it sure they wouldn't be interrupted. She used his distraction for planting hot kisses on his face and then proceeding to his throat, murmuring something in a language he didn't understand. The presence of her lips on his pulse point shaken him to his core. He grabbed her lower back and pushed her closer. She wrapped her legs around his waist in response, and it made him hiss.

Damn, he wanted her badly. His dazed mind was telling him to stop, but he didn't listen. Instead, he traced his hands up her thighs, pushing the fabric of her robe up. She threw her head back and moaned loudly. He growled and kissed her neck, getting lower with every move of his lips. His hands were now roaming freely under her robe, tracing lines on her stomach and back while she was emitting sounds on the border between whimpering and moaning.

Apparently, it wasn't enough for her, because she caught his hand and guided it to her center, and it was his turn to moan. She was so wet that he probably could take her now without really harming her. His fingers twitched on their own, and she screamed, actually screamed into the night air of the room.

It jerked him to reality. He remembered that she was a goddamn virgin, so it meant that he couldn't just unbuckle his belt, remove some fabric and thrust into her. It would be her first time, and he didn't want her first time to be like this. It cost him a hell of self-control, but he withdrew his fingers and caught her hand just in time to prevent her from reaching for his most sensitive parts.

"Lee, stop," he breathed, bucking away and making her look at him. The desire that burned in her eyes could flood the whole office and it took every bit of his common sense to stop himself from resuming their feverish movements.

"We shouldn't do it," he whispered, wondering how many times he'd said this line to her already, "We shouldn't do it like that."

She looked at him curiously, panting slightly. Then sighed and nodded.

"You're right," she slid down to her feet, "You're right," and rest her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head at held her close.

He didn't know her real name, where she'd come from or what she'd been doing before she came to this Tari bar. But he knew that he loved and her and she loved him back. And that was enough.

She pulled him down for another kiss, light and gentle this time, and he allowed himself to get lost in that kiss.

Was it even real? She was so beautiful, so young, so innocent. Why did she choose him? He was a bitter divorcee with alcohol issues; he belonged to Starfleet and its whims to send him wherever they pleased. She didn't choose Jim, she didn't choose Spock, she for some unknown reason chose him. She wanted him, claimed him, and now they were passionately kissing, because she decided that she needed him. And she got him, as she was probably getting everything in her life. Insufferable, spoiled, wonderful woman. He didn't have any chances to fight her, really.

"Leo," she whispered just above his lips, "I want you to promise me something."

"Anything, darlin'."

"Promise me," she said almost non-audibly, "to remember that it is all real. Promise me to know that this me… This person who I am with you… This person is real. This person doesn't lie, this person won't ever harm you. Promise me you know that."

He frowned and looked at her closely. He saw a lonely, vulnerable girl on the verge of tears.

"What is it all about?" he asked.

She blinked her tears away and looked at him firmly.

"Promise me."

He cupped her cheek and nodded.

"Okay, Lee, I promise."

She smiled and gave in to her tears. He gently wiped her cheeks.

"Hey… what's wrong?"

She laughed lightly and planted a small kiss on his lips.

"Nothing's wrong. Everything is perfect."

"Why are you crying, then?"

She threw her head back and laughed again.

"Because you're stupid. Kiss me again, stupid man."

He had to accept already that she had him around her small finger, he thought, crashing his lips on hers one more time. She'd indeed made him do whatever she wanted. And he was fine with it.

* * *

They somehow ended on his couch again, making out hard.

"I shouldn't stay the night, should I?" she asked between the kisses.

"Yes, you should go to your bed," he replied, tracing lines on her neck with his tongue.

"Oh god," she moaned. He hissed in reply, fighting the desire to just go for it, consequences be damned.

She grinned at him and swiped her leg on his hip, so he was between her legs again. This little devil.

"You really, really should go to sleep," he said, making no move to let her out of his arms.

"Yeah," she said, and he heard an unexpected uncertainty and a hint of fear in her voice.

He pulled back and regarded her intently. She looked a little off but gave him a genuine smile.

"I'm just afraid that when the morning comes you change your mind again and decide that I'm too crazy to be involved with me."

Well, he deserved this doubt.

"I'm sorry I was so hot and cold, Lee," he sighed, "I won't do this again. I promise."

She nodded and there were tears in her eyes again. She pulled away from him and off the couch.

"So I'll be going, then," she announced.

"Okay," he replied and stood too. "We were here alone for too long already."

They looked at each other one more second and were collapsing into each other's arms again, kissing and licking and biting like hormonal teenagers. She pulled away first, looking so sexy that he forgot how to breathe.

She smiled wickedly, and he knew she saw all the signs of his arousal perfectly well. She licked her lips, and he swallowed.

"Good night, Leo. Sleep well," she sang and danced out of his office.

He watched her go, then collapsed at the couch and hid his face into his hands.


	14. Chapter 14

McCoy dragged himself to his quarters when his body calmed down a little. Good God, it was insane. The girl had finally had him, just like she wanted from the very beginning of their acquaintance.

He wondered if she'd be willing to give her life away and join Starfleet - that was an interesting question for sure. Something told him that if Jim offered her to enlist, she'd just ask where to sign.

He really hoped that it wasn't just a game for her. The chemistry between them seemed too perfect to be real, but he knew that this arousal he'd seen in her earlier was hard to fake. What is more, he didn't want to think of her as a fake. Her past was a very questionable thing, but they'd deal with it later. Now, he just wanted to enjoy the moment.

He stripped out of his clothes in the safe darkness of his room and collapsed on the bed. Damn, this life in Starfleet was too demanding. And they weren't even in the time of crisis.

He closed his eyes and the exhaustion of the day immediately took its toll. The last thought he had before falling asleep completely was about Lee's real name.

* * *

Her warm smile was the first thing McCoy saw when the next morning he entered his domain. What he really wanted now was to run straight to her, but he couldn't afford to give her too much attention after everything that happened in the last few days. Instead, he checked on the other patients and noted that everybody was healing well. Great. That meant they'd leave sickbay soon and give him an opportunity to have fun with Lee in his office during an unlimited period of time.

Finally, he stood in front of his favorite patient and smiled at her.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked.

She returned the smile with this light in her eyes he loved so much.

"Pretty good. I was actually wondering, maybe you can let me out already? I really am fine. And I miss normal clothes."

McCoy frowned. He didn't intend to sign her out just yet. Her health still wasn't on the top level, not even close. But he had to admit that the flu had been long gone, malnutrition treated with a proper diet and exhaustion would be healed with enough sleep and rest. None of it required her constant presence in sickbay. Besides, if she voiced her wish to get out of here, he was sure as hell that this wish would be satisfied, even against his will.

"Please," she begged, "As much as this robe is convenient for some things," she smirked, and he felt how some blood left his head and flooded south, "It is not very comfortable. I want my pants and shirt back."

He sighed.

"And what would you do if I say no?"

"Haven't decided yet. But I'll do my best to impress you."

Oh, this wicked smile and these mischievous eyes. They'd be the death of him. McCoy didn't have any chances to fight her before, and he certainly didn't have them now.

"Fine," McCoy grumbled, and she beamed at him, "I'll let you out of here and talk to Jim about giving you some guest quarters. Just don't sing, okay?"

"So you didn't like my signing? Why haven't you said it back then? I'd stop it if I knew you don't appreciate my effort."

McCoy resisted the urge to ravage her there and then. Damn her. She was so hot when she did all these devil things.

He scowled in response and went to settle her signing out. Her robe was indeed fine, but her outfit with these tight pants and a long shirt that outlined every curve of her upper body did look good on her too. In fact, he couldn't wait to see her normally dressed again and finally think of her like of his girlfriend, not as his patient.

Good God, girlfriend. It sounded so silly and so weird. He'd have to get used to it.

He ordered to give Lee her clothes back, and ten minutes later witnessed her being fully dressed.

"Come to my office," he said to her, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible, "I need you to sign some papers."

"Sure," she replied and quickly marched out of the main room. He followed, and when the door slid shut, had his hands full of her. She was kissing him madly, and he finally was able to do what he wanted for so long - to give her a proper, thorough kiss without thinking about the moral aspect of this action.

"Privacy," he rasped, letting his hands explore her body.

She moaned into the kiss and pushed him back. When his legs hit the edge of the couch, she shoved him down, jumped on him, and resumed her lips' electrifying movements against his mouth.

Any coherent thought left him completely. He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, letting her feel how much he wanted her. In response, she rocked her body, and he realized that if they didn't stop now, they wouldn't stop at all.

"Hey, hey, slow down," McCoy wheezed, taking her face and urging her to look at him.

She was kissing him with her eyes closed, and when she opened them, he saw a lustful, incoherent gaze.

"I want you so fucking much," she whispered hoarsely.

He growled and buried his face in her neck. How much more would he be able to take if she went on at the same pace?

"I know," he finally managed to say, "I want you no less. But we can't do it now."

He pulled away and leaned at the back of the couch.

"Besides, I do need you to sign some stuff."

Lee looked at him with pure adoration.

"I'm not signing anything, Leo."

McCoy stared at her in disbelief, feeling the desire vanishing and anger building inside him.

"Oh come on!" he exclaimed, "We're together, finally, and you still don't want me to know your name?"

She looked away and pushed off of him, taking a place at his side instead.

"You know my name," she said with a clear uncertainty in her voice.

"Right. And Lee is all I get after almost taking you on my desk."

She went silent, studying her hands. McCoy felt familiar coldness somewhere near his heart.

"Lee, look at me."

She didn't oblige, staring at her hands.

"Girl, please."

She turned to face him and he saw this neutral expression she enjoyed putting on whenever things went tough. This expression made him shiver.

"What's all of that means to you?" he asked. He wasn't sure he'd like her reply.

Lee was giving him an empty look one more second. Then her indifferent expression broke, a grimace of pain came on its place.

"It means everything to me, it really does," she whispered, "But I can't tell you anything yet. Please, you have to trust me on this."

She'd got to be kidding him. After everything he'd done for her, after everything he'd risked to be with her, she still didn't trust him.

"Unbelievable," he muttered mostly to himself.

How could he fall for it? How could he ever believe that he'd be more than just a toy for her? How could he be so goddamn stupid?

"There's a place in sickbay where you can wait until we get you some quarters." he flatly said, standing, "Ask someone, they'll show you. I'll go talk to the Captain and we'll decide where you'll be living now."

She nodded and fled his office so fast McCoy didn't even register her movements.

He glared at the door that closed behind her and fought back an irresistible urge to crush everything within his arm's reach.

He was a goddamn moron. The girl just wanted to have fun, and he made a fuzz of it. So fucking moronic.

He glanced at the timer. 0936, the alpha shift was in its full momentum with Jim on the bridge. McCoy could just comm his friend and settle everything without leaving sickbay.

No, he'd go to the bridge personally. He hadn't visited it for ages anyway. Would be nice to see all friends on duty, just like good old times, when there were no insane girls in his life.

He ordered himself to look as impassive as possible and strode to the turbo lift.

* * *

The bridge gave him the comfort he needed so desperately. The same result could be also achieved with a bottle of bourbon, but he was still on duty and couldn't let himself find a dark corner and hide there just yet.

In the meantime, his friends would do just fine.

He nevertheless received a slightest eyebrow's rise from Spock and a frown from Jim. No wonders, he must be looking like shit. He felt like shit, that was for sure.

"Bones," Jim nodded and gestured at the chair next to his captain's throne, "What brought you here? Another Lee's insanity? Please, tell me the witch came up with something new and funny. Your reports are getting too boring to read."

McCoy fought back a wave of despair and scowled.

"Thank God, no. But I've signed her out this morning, so we need to give her some place to stay while she's onboard."

"I know great free quarters three doors away from yours," Jim smirked, "I believe they'd be great for her."

McCoy cringed. Damn, he had to tell the kid what was happening, or Jim would continue to play a matchmaker. A sharp response was already on McCoy's lips when the ship lurched forward without any warning.

The consoles in front of Sulu and Chekov burst into a frenzy, beeping and screeching in the most intimidating ways possible.

"Captain, someone's just penetrated the ship!" Chekov shouted, panic clear in his voice.

"On screen," Jim barked, not a hint of his previous light mood in his voice.

Chekov pressed the button, and they saw three small ships that looked more like shuttles. The ships bumped into the _Enterprise's_ corpus and made huge holes so that these little things' owners could enter the _Enterprise_. So like Krall's bees… Oh good God, no, not again.

McCoy missed Jim's next order, but Sulu's reply made the Doctor freeze.

"Captain, the panel doesn't work. Someone's taken control over all the ship's computers and now clearing the decks for the intruders. The guy's sealing them off from the rest of the ship," the helmsman calmly said, but McCoy knew that Sulu was as frightened as they all were, "I think they're heading for the bridge."

"How didn't we notice them?" Chekov darkly mused.

"I might have some ideas," Jim replied as sullenly, his fingers dancing on his own console.

Then the Captain of the _Enterprise_ turned to his First Officer, "Lock the bridge."

McCoy felt dread taking over him. Locking the bridge down meant that the crew had totally lost control over the ship. The only way to withstand the outside force was to give the Captain full control that overrides every computer onboard. It meant that no matter who hacked the system, the Captain's computer still wasn't affected and could be used to resist the hacker.

"Can we fight?" Jim asked Spock.

"We have phasers, but we are outnumbered," the Vulcan said, looking at the screen. It showed them a small crowd of Klingons, humans and a couple of Orions outside - too many to just fight back without getting someone killed.

Jim nodded and turned the shipwide channel on.

"This is the Captain speaking. You have invaded the Federation's starship without warning or a declaration of war. What do you want from us?" Jim demanded.

"Surrender the ship," a huge even for his race Klingon growled, "Or we will kill the hostages."

And he shoved two security officers - both young girls - at his feet.

Jim turned the channel off and shared a long look with Spock.

"Prepare your phasers," the Captain finally said, "We're coming out shooting."

The bridge crew muttered an 'aye, Captain' and moved to the wall where phasers were hidden.

They were stopped by the voice coming somewhere from behind.

"I wouldn't do it if I were you," the voice said.

Well. McCoy was clearly mistaken when he thought he'd felt dread before. The day when they had brought dead Jim to him didn't count - it was more shock and pain than anything else. But this… Everything that had happened before was just a resemblance of the real dread that now was running through his veins.

Because he knew that voice.

Slowly, he made himself turn around and face the speaker. He saw Uhura with regret and despair on her face. He saw a dagger firmly pressed to the comm. officer's throat. And he saw his new girlfriend holding Uhura by her hair and exposing her hostage's neck.

"Put your phasers down and let the guys in," Lee evenly said, "Or your pretty officer here might find a rather huge hole in her neck. And do it now, please. We don't have all day."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Hi everyone! As you can see, we are finally getting some action. For the sake of it, I'm making up some tech details that probably don't exist. But it's a fiction, right? We are here to make up stories, so we've got what we've got. Please, bear with me here.

As for heart surgery, it did, in fact, slip my mind. In my defense, I can say that Lee refused it, and cardiomyopathy without severe symptoms is usually not the reason for making someone staying in medical. Or at least as far as I know. :) So, yes, McCoy let her out. And yes, it was probably not his wisest decision.

Also, from now on there will be violence and blood from time to time. The story is rated M, after all.

As always, betaread by JularaVon. Thank you for helping me with this story.

* * *

No, no, no. It couldn't be real. McCoy stared at Lee in a complete and utter shock.

" _You_ ," Jim hissed, "We saved you, we gave you shelter. And _this_ is your gratitude?"

The girl that McCoy had held in his arms just a half an hour ago didn't even bother looking fazed.

"Yes you did, and this is the reason you're still alive," she replied calmly, "And you'll continue maintaining this state if you be so kind and open the door."

Uhura shook her head furiously. Spock made a small movement towards the two women.

"No, Commander, don't do that," Lee warned and now her voice was full of ice, "You'll need half a second to reach us, and it will take me a quarter of it to cut her head off. So stay where you are, and she'd be fine."

Spock froze and gave her the look of a man who single-handedly took a superhuman down with his bare hands. But Lee didn't seem to give a shit about the enraged Vulcan several feet away from her.

"Come on, Captain," she was saying, "We both know you'll do it. You can try to disarm me, but I sure as hell will slice her throat open. I have nothing to lose, really. So if I'm going down, she's coming with me."

"Captain, no," Uhura croaked.

Lee angled her dagger, and absurdly red blood streamed down the comm officer's neck. Uhura inhaled sharply, and Jim's hands clenched into fists.

"You wouldn't dare," Jim spat.

"Try me."

She would dare, McCoy thought, of course she would. She'd always been quite ruthless when she'd wanted something. And now she wanted their ship, so why the hell not.

McCoy could practically feel Jim giving up. There was one more second of silence, then the Captain entered the necessary code, and the door to the bridge changed its status from 'locked' to 'opened.'

Lee gave Jim a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Thank you, Captain. It was the right choice."

Jim's harsh reply was cut by the sound of the door opening.

The intruders stepped on the bridge with their weapons pointed at the _Enterprise's_ crew. The officers hadn't even had a chance to arm themselves, so only Jim and Spock, who took phasers everywhere they go, could actually fight. But Uhura was in danger, and the two of them couldn't risk it. So they stood still and helplessly watched Lee's men, apparently pirates, spreading across the bridge.

"Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, please, drop your weapons and push them aside," Lee ordered, still holding Uhura by her hair.

The commanding officers obliged. Both radiated danger, and be Lee more sensible and self-preserving individual, she'd run as far as she could to avoid these two guys' wrath. But it was clear she didn't have it in her, so she just smiled and said something to the huge Klingon. He approached Lee and her victim and took hold on Uhura's throat with his one hand. Uhura made a small noise and grabbed the Klingon's arm, the action the pirate probably didn't even notice.

Lee stepped aside and looked around the bridge.

"Now, Captain, I need you and your people to stand right there," she pointed at the spot in front of the viewscreen.

Jim's face lost its color completely. He didn't make a move, so Lee turned to the huge Klingon and nodded. He tightened his grip on Uhura's neck and she wheezed.

"Okay!" Jim shouted, and the grip loosened, "Let's go," he barked to the rest of them.

This moment the _Enterprise's_ security officers chose to appear from nowhere and start shooting.

McCoy didn't even have time to react as the attack was brutally suppressed. Lee's people were obviously ready for this course of events - only some of the pirates took the fight, Klingons mostly. The rest of the intruders were still pointing guns at the crew, and the huge Klingon kept on slowly strangling Uhura. The result of this unexpected attack was only seven criminals being nocked out. That was all, and that wasn't enough.

The obvious leader of the pirates didn't spare this short fight a look. She was studying Jim's console, and when she raised her head, McCoy saw a familiar spark of triumph in her eyes.

"I see you've already entered your override code," she said, "So nice of you."

McCoy turned his head away so he couldn't see the agony on his friend's face. Instead, he gave a closer look at the red shirts now lying lifelessly on the floor. One of the officers, Kervaz, landed badly on the step of the bridge's stairs and now had a dangerous gash in his head. He was still breathing, McCoy could see it, but if the man didn't get medical attention now, he'd either bleed out or die from the very possible internal bleeding.

Well, fuck it. Fuck it all.

McCoy stepped away from the rest of the crew and made for the wounded officer. A Klingon blocked his way.

"Get back to your people," the pirate growled.

McCoy snarled.

"I _am_ going to my people. There's one of them," he pointed at Kervaz, "and he needs help. I am a doctor, and I can help him. So fuck off and let me do my job."

"Bones, don't," Jim muttered, but McCoy ignored him.

He rounded the Klingon and kneeled in front of Kervaz. Captive or no captive, he was still a doctor. He took the officer's hand to check the pulse and looked up at the Klingon, expecting a hit every second. But the bastard didn't look at the Doctor, he was looking at Lee with an expression of uncertainty. Lee, in turn, was staring at McCoy with her head tilted. He met her gaze, daring her to shoot him down or beat him up if she so pleased. He was a doctor, damnit. He broke too many rules and regulations for her, but he'd be damned if he'd break the oath to treat sick wherever he was and whichever the consequences were.

Her expression was as unemotional as ever. She was regarding him for several long seconds, then shrugged.

"You've heard the man," she said to the Klingon next to McCoy, "He's a doctor. Let him follow his calling."

"But it's dangerous to let one of them wander around," her man objected.

"This is why you're going to watch him and make sure he isn't doing anything except treating," she said with a sweet smile and turned to the rest of her captives, "Now, you move."

Jim nodded to the rest of the crew and they did as they were told.

Lee entered some code at Jim's console and gestured to the Klingon who was holding Uhura to come closer.

"Now," Lee commanded, and the Klingon threw the comm. officer right into Jim's arms. The next second the crew was separated from the rest of the bridge by some sort of magnetical field.

Lee smirked and turned to her people.

"Gentlemen," she declared, "The ship's ours!"

Cheerful shouts followed her announcement.

The Klingon that was holding Uhura approached Lee and bowed, sweet Jesus, he _bowed_ to her. What had a small human girl possibly done to receive a bow from a _Klingon_?

"Tora," the Klingon said, holding out a phaser for her which she took with her left hand, the right one still holding the dagger, "It is an honor to meet you again."

"Utrar," the girl nodded, "Nice to see you too."

So her name was Tora. McCoy doubted though that this name wasn't another fake.

He'd already finished assessing Kervaz's wound and now was thinking of the next steps in preventing the guy from dying on his hands.

"I need medical supplies," McCoy ventured to say, standing, "He's hurt badly, so either you let me get my stuff, or you can as well kill him. He'll die without medications."

Lee, or Tora for God's sake, turned to him, wearing this blank expression of her. Damn bitch. For all he knew, she could plan the whole thing, starting with infiltration the _Enterprise_. It all was just a carefully designed plan, and she was good at designing. After all, he was just the means to an end.

Still, even with this pain of knowing he was betrayed, even after seeing this indifferent mask of a person who'd kill without a second thought, he couldn't stop loving her. Not when he knew how radiant her eyes could be, how excited she was during solving one of these insane equations and how passionate she was during their kisses. He couldn't believe that Lee he knew and that stranger named Tora was actually one person. Logically, he knew she was, but accepting this horrible truth was another thing.

This damn red-headed devil stole his heart, broke it and now was performing a victorious dance on its splinters. But what did he really expect? His relationships with women had usually ended with a disaster. This time the disaster was just bigger.

"You need medical supplies," Lee finally echoed, "Or I can as well kill him."

McCoy felt chill rushed through him.

"I'm not insisting on going to sickbay," he hastily said, "The ones on the bridge would do just fine."

It was hard to tell what she'd been thinking because even her eyes didn't betray anything. But it seemed she wasn't about to harm him, this is why he was going to push his luck and get everything he needed to help the wounded.

"Of course you're not going down," Lee (or Tora, whatever) said, "But okay, I'll let you help the guy. Where's the stuff you need?"

He told her where to look, and she retrieved the medical kit he'd put here ages ago, just in case. She threw him the kit, and he wondered if she was too cautious to approach him, or just didn't want to get closer to him. McCoy pushed these dark thoughts aside and busied himself with the officer.

"How?" the Doctor heard Jim's voice vibrating with anger.

"You see, I'm quite good in gaining information of any kind," was the reply, "You know, the ship's specifications, maps, the layout of ventilation shafts…"

So that was how she'd got to the bridge. The ventilation shafts, of course. She was small enough to be able to use it as a secret passage.

"You hacked the ship's system with your damn PADD," Jim flatly stated.

"Yes, I did," McCoy now heard a hint of a smirk in her voice that disappeared in her next words, "But if you don't mind, I'd like to get to the more pressing topic."

McCoy glanced up and saw Lee standing in front of this magnetical cage that was apparently designed to hold prisoners on the bridge if there'd be some on it. How ironic.

"What are your demands?" Jim asked.

"Don't worry, they're quite easy to satisfy. As you can see, I have yet to seriously harm any of your people, intentionally at least. This is all because I am, in fact, not interested in hurting you or breaking your ship. Believe it or not, but I'm grateful for everything you did to me, so I'm not gonna harm you. This is why I ordered my people to keep their hands to themselves and not attack unless provoked.

The reason we are here is simple: I need something from you, and once I get it, we'll leave. All of us."

McCoy ordered his hands to remain as steady as always and not to tremble at the thought of Lee leaving his life completely. He wasn't ready for that. Not yet, not like this.

"So what do you want?" was Jim's question.

"Oh, not much. First of all, I'm intending to take your dilithium, it's quite expensive, you know."

"And second?"

"Information," she said gently and McCoy felt she was smiling while saying it, "Being a flagship, the _Enterprise_ has free access to some databases I'd like to see. All that means that I'm going to download some stuff from your computer, hack some other computers with resources your ship has, take the dilithium and say goodbye."

She took a deep breath and continued.

"As I previously mentioned, my people have orders not to harm your crew. So I want you to order your people to behave, and in this case, everyone would get out of it alive and healthy."

McCoy heard her sigh and wondered if it was possible to be more screw up than this girl was. They saved her life, gave her a place to stay and were about to offer her a permanent place to live. It was a pity that all she cared about in her life was money.

He pushed these thoughts at the back of his mind again. She was a fucking pirate working with fucking Klingons, and he had no idea what was happening in their goddamn heads.

"I don't wanna hurt you, Jim. I'm just doing my work, and if you cooperate, I won't have to," she finished her speech.

McCoy huffed and the Klingon that was watching him twitched nervously. _Don't wanna hurt you_ , right. And the unconscious officers spread across the bridge floor were just taking a nap.

"And do you think I trust you?" Jim snorted

"Well, I didn't harm anyone, did I? And besides," McCoy heard her smiling again, "I can do this, and you'll do anything that I'll tell you to do."

McCoy raised his head to find out what she was talking about and saw a phaser pointed at his head. He felt cold sweat running down his body. So she didn't let him stay on this side of the cage to let him do his job. She left him here to manipulate Jim.

"You bitch," Jim hissed, and McCoy inwardly agreed with that Lee's characterization.

She laughed in response.

"I suggest you come up with something more creative, Captain," and then, more seriously, "So, I'm opening a shipwide channel and you order your crew not to fight, and everything will be fine. Do we have a deal?" she asked without lowering her phaser.

Jim's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Yes, we do."

She nodded and tapped something on Uhura's console.

"You're online, Captain."

Jim took a deep breath and announced, "Attention crew of the _Enterprise_. We were being attacked by very dangerous criminals. However, they agreed to do us no harm if we don't fight back. I have agreed to these terms, so I order you not to engage with our captors and they will leave without hurting us. So let's hope they have at list a glimpse of conscience in them. Kirk out."

Lee stopped the broadcast and gave them a wide smile.

"That was the right thing to do, Captain."

McCoy shook his head and came back to his patients. He actually finished with Kervaz, but there were four other officers on the floor, and he tried not to think about the two girls the pirates left in the corridor. He really hoped they were just knocked out, not dead.

So McCoy moved to the next still body. His watcher Klingon shifted nervously but didn't object. Lee didn't spare them a single glance. She was talking with someone on the comm.

"No, don't touch anything. They've had a pretty bad break just recently. I'll extract it myself once I'm done here."

Lee finished the comm. and muttered, apparently to herself,

"Okay. Let's get started."

She took Chekov's seat and her hands went flying on the navigator's computer.

"You'll pay for this," Jim said to her. McCoy didn't have to see her to know that she was rolling her eyes.

"Clearly haven't heard that before."

The obvious sarcasm made McCoy wonder how many time had she done this - taking over control, taking hostages, stealing hearts…

She retrieved a flash drive from her dagger's handle and put it in the computer. The download process started. McCoy glanced at the Klingon guard once again. They had to stop the pirates somehow. The _Enterprise_ indeed had access to a great amount of information that shouldn't be in other folks' hands. And she was going to hack other Starfleet's databases. If this information leaked…

"You'll never pass through their firewalls," Jim stated, but McCoy doubted his friend was confident about his words.

"Well," she said without interrupting her work, "I did guide my guys through all your sensors. I believe I'm quite capable of doing something like this. Besides," and there was a grin in her voice again, "It's a challenge. I love challenges."

Jim didn't reply.

McCoy went on with his task too, helping the crew members where he could and buying some time for a later help where he couldn't. His mind raced. They had to stop her before every bit of precious information would be downloaded and left the ship to be sold to someone like Klingons or Romulans. All tech inventions, secret weapons, tactical starbases… God help them if it happened. They all would be doomed.

He looked up and saw the Klingon's blank stare. The guy was obviously bored. It was good. McCoy was near Uhura's station and an idea suddenly appeared. There was an alarm button near the comm. officer's seat. If he pressed it and sent SOS, Starfleet wouldn't be in time to prevent Lee from taking the precious info away, but they could follow and catch her.

He was done with treating for now but was nevertheless scanning a lieutenant laying just a couple of feet away from the button. McCoy peaked up one more time and made sure the Klingon wouldn't notice his movements. The bastard wasn't even looking at him now. He was staring at Lee with clear lust in his gaze. McCoy shivered. She was playing a dangerous game by staying with these guys. He shook his head. It was not his problem, he had another task. Focus.

His hand was inches away from the button when a powerful kick in his chest beat all air out of his lungs. He gasped, colliding with a wall behind him. A phaser blast thundered the second later. When McCoy's vision cleared, he saw his guard laying unconscious and Lee standing and holding her phaser in the ready position.

"I believe I told you: no violence," she calmly said and lowered the weapon.

"But it wasn't his fault!" one of the humans objected, "The Doc was about to send SOS!"

Lee made a step toward the guy and the human flinched.

"This is why I told L'alar to keep an eye on him," was an unflappable response, "I suggest you take his place and not screw this up."

"This is bullshit," an Orion stepped in, "Why do you even bother to keep them alive? Let's kill them and there'd be no such problems."

Half of the pirates cheered in agreement. Neither Klingon joined the noise.

"Yeah," another human shouted, "It was these no-violence ideas that have brought you to Kauri. It was your fault you've got caught and now you'll get us all caught."

The girl tilted her head.

"So you don't like my tactics?" she asked gently with that gleam in her eyes that promised an upcoming shitstorm.

"Yes!" three humans shouted.

"Very well," Lee cooed.

The next second three blasts rang through the bridge, and the humans went down. The other pirates shared glances. Then the rest of humans and Orions raised their weapons and shot at Lee standing in the very center of the room.

McCoy didn't quite register what happened next, but when the fire ceased, all who rebelled against their leader were on the floor unconscious. None of them was Klingons, who stood impassively without intervening.

Lee, who now appeared near the opposite wall, lowered her phaser and turned to the huge Klingon she earlier referred to as Utrar.

"Why did you take this scum with you?" she demanded.

"You ordered to take all resources I have," Utrar reported, "These were the resources I had."

"Ugh," was an irritated response.

Then she turned to McCoy and for the first time this day he felt the very real fear for his life.

"It wasn't a wise move, Doctor," she said, approaching him.

He stood and squared his shoulders, trying to hide his fear under the scowl. She was wearing that trademark wicked smile of hers which indicated that the hell was about to get loose.

"I see that you've done with your patients," she observed, "And I guess you are bored now."

She secured her phaser at her belt and took the dagger instead.

McCoy swallowed and forced himself to look at her, not at the weapon.

"People do crazy things when they're bored," she continued, coming closer.

McCoy ordered himself to stand straight. Whatever she was going to do to him, he'd face it with his head raised high.

"Don't you dare," he heard Jim's growl.

Lee paid no attention to the Captain.

"Let's make you less bored," she said, raised the dagger and caught a glimpse of light on its blade.

McCoy fixed his eyes on hers, fighting back a desire to turn away and _run_. Damn traitor. He hated her so much now. Still, he hated himself even more, so whatever. He was long past the stage of giving a fuck.

Then she sent the dagger flying, but not in his direction. McCoy heard a surprised yelp at his right and saw a Klingon with the weapon in his stomach.

Lee smirked and marched to the wounded Klingon. She retrieved the dagger and used its handle to hit the Klingon's head. The pirate went down.

"There," she said with a polite smile, "I've got you a patient. If you are finished and get bored again, just say it. I'll find you another toy to play with."

McCoy stared at the dagger in her hand. Huge drops of pink Klingon blood were falling on the floor. Lee followed his gaze and pressed a button. The dagger's blade disappeared in the handle, leaving several more drops of blood on the bridge.

He raised his eyes and looked at her. Lucifer stared back at him.

She'd just shot her own people and ripped a hole inside one of their bodies. At this point, McCoy believed that she was capable of anything. She was clearly a psycho, a very dangerous one, but with authority and force on her side.

"If he bleeds to death, it's gonna be your fault, you know," she noted in a tone one might discuss the weather.

He fought back a wave of nausea and hurried to the Klingon. He caught a glimpse of Lee waving at him with her out-of-date, but nevertheless efficient weapon. Two Klingons stepped forward and pointed phasers at him. Then she got back to the computer.

It took her about 5 minutes to pass all Federation's defenses. When the computer announced 'Access granted,' the pirates cheered.

She turned to them with a wide smile.

"Oh boys, we're gonna be sooo rich."

"We'll catch you," Jim threatened.

Oh, the Captain was seriously pissed.

Lee snored. "You have no idea how many times I've heard this line in my life."

McCoy finished sealing the Klingon's wound and now was watching the drama unfold in front of him. He witnessed Jim's furious stare and Lee's calm returned look. They were the rivals worth each other, that was for sure. Unfortunately, one of them was playing dirty, and they could do nothing about it.

A beeping in the helmsman's computer broke the rising tension. Lee glanced at the notification and for the first time this day, worry crossed her features.

"Oh shit," McCoy heard her murmur. She tapped something on the screen and the computer signaled that shields were up. She stormed to Uhura's desk and tapped something there as well. Then she ran back to Sulu's seat.

Okay, that was interesting.

The next second after she'd stopped her chaotical rotations, five huge starships appeared in front of the Enterprise. Lee stood up and looked expectedly at the big screen.

After several agonizing seconds, the screen lit up. McCoy saw an Orion who clearly didn't belong to the best circles of his race. The guy saw Lee and grinned.

"Tora, my girl," he exclaimed, "So nice to meet you here. What a fancy ship you've got!"

"Laguz," Lee greeted with a polite smile and the slightest nod, "I'm happy to see you too. Glad you like my new ship. Figured it would look great with my new shoes."

"It totally would," Laguz laughed, but abruptly stopped and went serious, "Am I right in assuming that you've also got the fearless crew of this ship and its golden Captain?"

"Yes, you're right," Lee replied impassively, but McCoy noted tension in her stance.

Was she afraid of that Orion?

"Great!" the guy brightened even more, "I'm buying them, then. Oh, so many would kill to have Kirk as a slave. Or kill him! Tora, my girl, you don't stop to amaze me!"

So that was who owned the vessels. Slave traders. Sweet Jesus, slave traders.

' _I'm not gonna harm you_ ,' she said. Well, of course she wasn't. She'd lose money if her hostages were in the poor condition.

All McCoy emotions went numb. He couldn't feel anything anymore - it was too surreal to be true.

They were outmatched by a single girl who made a brilliant plan to ruin their lives and stuck to it. Hell, she was a genius. And she was going to sell them to slavery.


	16. Chapter 16

Leonard McCoy hated space. No amount of time spent here would change the fact that space was disease and danger, wrapped in darkness and silence. He said it the first day of his life in Starfleet, and he still believed every word of this sentence. He later found out that space was also a place where crowds of lunatics wanted to kill him, torture him, or destroy his planet, and this didn't win space any points either. Why space attracted so many living beings escaped him.

Slavery was new though. At least, there was some diversity, McCoy thought grimly, watching Lee's tensed figure.

Fucking assholes. Jim would probably come up with something, but how many people they would lose in the process of getting rid of the slave traders, that was a number McCoy wanted to know. He was so tired of losing their people. Couldn't it just _stop_?

"Thanks for the compliment, Laguz, but I don't think I can give them to you. I kinda need them," the leader of the pirates said in a firm voice that left no room for further discussion.

These words stunned McCoy completely. Was she refusing the offer? Was she refusing the offer _from a small Orion armada?_

The Klingons around him apparently shared his bewilderment.

"Tora," Utrar started, but she silenced him with a single glance.

"It was nice to talk to you, really, but I have nothing for you today, so you can keep on moving to your previous destination," Lee continued.

The Orion stared at her in shock.

"Sweetheart, I don't think you understand how many credits I'm willing to pay you for these people. My offer is one thousand for everyone on this ship and fifty thousand for Kirk."

"No, Laguz. They're not for sale."

"Two and one hundred thousand."

"No."

"Two million for the whole crew."

It was ridiculous. Two million credits was an insane sum. Even the most dangerous criminals had a lesser bounty on their heads. But the _Enterprise_ was indeed a ship full of dangerous people. They were quite a catch, and McCoy didn't understand why Lee didn't accept the offer. Maybe, just maybe, she would take what she wanted and let them be?

He tried his best to understand what she was thinking, but she was as closed off as ever while shaking her head.

"Still no. Sorry, Laguz, I'd love to chat, but I have stuff to do. So…"

She made a move to end the connection. The Orion frowned, not a hint of his previous friendliness now.

"Hold on, sweetheart. Don't send me away like this. I want these people to be mine."

"And I want them too. So go wherever you were going. I'm not giving them to you," was a sharp reply.

Complete silence followed.

"I can take them myself, you know," Laguz said casually.

The helmsman's computer beeped, and McCoy saw an alarm of other vessels pointing phasers at their ship.

Lee gave the trader a smile that made McCoy shiver.

"Try to do it, and you'll lose your beautiful ships."

"You can't harm me, standing on this ship."

"And I can easily appear at yours. Don't bitch with me, Laguz, or you'll end like Kost."

The Orion winced.

"I still think ripping his limbs off wasn't necessary, sweetheart."

"Yes, it was. It was a demonstration of force so that you motherfuckers could see who you're trying to screw up."

Lee's cruel smile widened and McCoy had to turn away. He would deny it forever even to himself, but looking at her at this moment scared the living shit out of him.

He wasn't the only one averting his eyes: the Klingons were looking away too, no one daring to voice their disapproval or express their protest again.

A heavy silence followed her outburst. Lee was the one who broke it.

"Come on, Laguz. We are old friends, are we not? Friends don't point guns at each other."

The spell was broken, and she looked like an ordinary human again, all savagery in her gone. The Orion huffed, clearly annoyed.

"Fine. Let it be your way."

Something chimed, and McCoy glanced at the computer. The other ships were lowering weapons.

Unbelievable.

"Don't try to fool me, dear," Lee warned, not looking at the status update but sure as hell being aware of the danger going away.

"Never dreamed about it," Laguz scowled and ended the connection.

Without changing her posture, Lee glanced at the computer. But McCoy caught the slightest sigh of relief and an almost invisible tremor of her hands before she firmly grabbed the edges of the console in front of her.

Klingons seemed to forget how scary she could be and were murmuring something in the not very friendly voices.

"What the fuck was that?" Utrar finally burst out, "And why did you reject his offer?"

Lee watched the Orions' little armada disappearing into darkness, unclenched her grip on the console and turned to the pirate.

"Enough," she quietly said.

"Enough of what? You've just thrown away a great deal. What..."

"Enough!" Lee yelled, and Utrar shut up.

"I'm sick of everyone's questioning my orders. If I'm saying that I need these people, it means that it'll benefit us more than just selling them off. And this is the last time I'm explaining anything to anyone. Is that clear?" Lee said it without raising her voice, but when she finished, the Klingon didn't look so confident and threatening. He nodded, "As you wish, Tora."

She rolled her eyes and looked at McCoy.

"Are you done here?"

He reluctantly confirmed it.

She gave him a long look, then addressed to her people.

"I'm going to take dilithium and taking the Doctor with me. He's a guarantee that our captives wouldn't try to escape. You'll contact me every five minutes. If I don't answer, you know the drill."

She turned to Jim.

"I'm taking your friend with me. If you try something, Utrar will make sure I understand it, so I'll know you've taken them down. Don't make stupid decisions if you want your CMO back."

She looked at McCoy again.

"Come on, Doctor," she said, holding up a phaser and pointing it on him, "After you."

He gave her the best glare he could muster but entered the turbo lift first.

"To the back wall," she ordered, and he obeyed.

She stepped in too, and the door slid shut.

"Send it to Medical."

He arched an eyebrow.

"I thought we are going to Engineering."

"Just do it," she said, rubbing her eyes with her free hand.

He pushed the button and looked at her. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but was it really necessary? Would it really help? It would only ruin the reminiscence of his self-esteem if he actually voiced the pain and betrayal that he felt. She was just playing her game, and that was it. He had to accept it and move on.

She leaned heavily on the opposite wall and closed her eyes. Then she lowered the phaser.

"Don't afraid of me at all, huh?" he bitterly asked and was annoyed to hear the clear pain in his voice.

"Stop the lift," she said without opening her eyes.

He gaped at her.

"What?"

"I said stop the lift."

He huffed but did as she told.

When she finally looked at him, he saw Lee he knew. The one who shared his lonely nights in his office, the one who was glowing every time she saw him and the one who kissed him with everything she had.

"I staged the whole thing," she said in a small voice.

"What?!"

"I staged all this hostage and robbery thing. I did it to get you guys out of the Orions' hands."

McCoy realized that he was staring at her with his mouth open and closed it.

"I don't understand…"

"When you gave me that PADD," she interrupted, "You gave it to one of the best hackers in the whole damn Universe. So I hacked your ship, just because I always do it. Me on this ship," She waved her hand, "It was a coincidence. I was in a shitty adventure, and it brought me to this shitty bar. It wasn't planned, Leo. I never intended to get here."

She shifted from one foot to another.

"But it was a habit to check every place where I'm staying. So I've checked you guys and was monitoring everything that was happening on this ship and near her, incoming signals including. Just in case.

Everything was peace and quiet until yesterday. But yesterday… I've picked these Orions' transmissions."

She sighed.

"You guys were out of warp for too long. They've found you and made the right conclusion: one ship, moving slowly with no planets near it, so it must have been damaged. An easy catch. The signal said there were two ships though, not five. And I am actually surprised they let us go."

"Why didn't you warn us?" McCoy asked. His voice was too rasp for his liking.

She humorlessly smiled.

"It wouldn't make much of a difference. You couldn't go to warp, and as for fighting… You're not equipped for a direct fight against heavily armed ships. They were fully capable of taking you down without much of an effort."

"So you've decided to show them it's your ship," he said blankly.

"Yes. But it had to look real. They wouldn't believe me if there wasn't a crowd of Klingons behind my back."

"And you've called friends."

"Yeah. It was actually these guys who left me behind, so I've got caught and received all these burns you've treated just recently. Figured I can as well pay them back."

He remembered her damaged skin and shuddered. At least she finally admitted she'd been tortured.

"So you're a fucking pirate," McCoy concluded.

She looked down at her feet.

"Something like that."

"Great," he huffed, "Just peachy."

"I couldn't warn you, Leo, I'm sorry," she whispered, still not meeting his eyes, "But now we have to get rid of Utrar and the other boys. And we have to do it on our own."

He stared at her in disbelief.

"Why? You can just let Jim and the others out. They'll take care of this."

She shook her head.

"No. Your friends don't have weapons and there are too many of them. Easy targets. Someone's going to get killed. And this barrier - it seals them, but it also protects them. So no, we have to deal with it ourselves."

"Goddamn, girl, I'm a doctor, not a martial artist. I'm not here to fight!" He snapped, "And that's insane. What if we lose? The ship will be in their hands."

"We won't lose," she said firmly, "And you can fight, can't you?"

He scowled. Oh yes, he could fight alright. Rather eventful youth, three years in Starfleet Academy with compulsory drunk brawls every weekend by Jim's side, and finally several years out in the black made a decent fighter out of him. But it didn't mean he liked.

"I don't like it," he voiced his last thought.

She gave him a weak smile, "Of course you don't."

Her comm. buzzed, and she flipped it open.

"Tora, is everything alright?" Utrar wanted to know.

"Yes, you?"

"We're good."

"Great, contact me in five minutes."

She ended the comm. and smiled at him. Yes, he was right. This smile would definitely get him to hell.

"I don't trust you," he pointed out what worried him the most. "How on earth do I know that it isn't another game? I bet the possibility of you using me for throwing your guys under the bus and just running away is quite high. I doubt it's below you."  
Her smile faded, and she sighed heavily.

"You can't trust me. I understand. But you have to make a choice, Leo. To risk it and give me another chance or to stay away from this. And you can do it, you really can. After all, I've seen worse odds against me. I can handle them myself."

McCoy really hated her for that. She could manipulate him so easily and justify it with such perfect logic that made his objections pointless. Even now, when he saw what she was capable of, he desperately wanted to believe her words. And she was right, damn her to hell and back. She was right. It was either standing behind and watch her fighting the crowd of Klingons or help her to not get killed. And there he was, no chances against her again.

"What's the plan?" he asked.

The mischievous spark in her eyes blinked, and McCoy momentary forgot where they were, what situation they were in and fought back a desperate urge to kiss her.

But she was talking again, and he had to pay attention. She explained the plan, and of course, he didn't like it. Still, did he really have a choice?

"But first of all, you have to patch me up a bit," she said with exhaustion in her voice that was clear now, when he paid it more attention, "I feel like shit."

He remembered the tremor of her hands and frowned.

"What's wrong?"

She sighed.

"I feel tired… It's like I don't have enough power to even lift my hands, let alone fight. You have to fix it."

McCoy shook his head in disbelief.

"And you are going to fight Klingons on your own?! Are you nuts?"

She grimaced.

"At any other time, I would do it myself, and I wouldn't even need your help. It's not very hard, you just have to be fast, but now… I know I can't. And we don't have a choice, we have to fight. So just hypo me with something that will give me enough energy for just fifteen minutes. We'll deal with the situation and then you'll treat me as much as you want. Later I'll do everything you'll tell me to do, I promise, but at this moment I need to be in top shape. Can you do that?"

McCoy was watching her, confused. This was not the girl he knew again. But it was neither Tora. Here stand someone else entirely, the person who knew what had to be done and who would do it no matter what. She wasn't his sweet Lee as she wasn't the cold-hearted pirate he saw on the bridge. The woman who was standing in front of him was a walking determination and a force to be reckoned with. Her eyes were hardened steel and her words were an order you couldn't disobey.

So he nodded, and her lips twitched up slightly.

"Good. But first, we have to deal with the guys in sickbay," she stated matter-of-factly.

All his awe was gone in a second.

"You sent these bastards to my sickbay?!" he roared.

He could push aside everything she did to him, but he would not tolerate violence against his staff. He was the only one who was allowed to threaten them, damnit.

"Shhh, are you insane?" she hissed, "And no, it wasn't me. Utrar did that, I have no idea why. But they promised to be good kids."

"Good kids my ass," he muttered.

"Don't worry, everything's gonna be fine," she said with an expression on her face he'd usually seen on Jim seconds before hell breaking loose and McCoy spending several frantic hours in surgery, trying to save as many lives as possible, "Let's just get this shit done. Start the lift," she lifted her phaser again.

He did it and met her eyes. His Lee was fading, Tora coming on her place.

* * *

A/N: Well. She was indeed forced into this. Kinda. And now she'll have to deal with the consequences of revealing who she is...

Anyway, thank you for reading! Tell me what you think.

A huge thanks to JularaVon who betaread this. Your help means a lot to me.


	17. Chapter 17

Leonard McCoy might have hated space, but he sure as hell loved his staff. His appointment as the CMO was a questionable thing, as was Jim's as the Captain. They both had been fresh out of the Academy and both hadn't had experience in operating in their positions. But Starfleet was so understaffed after Nero's attack that their assignments were the only option.

When McCoy had only started, he'd had no idea what he actually should do as the Chief Medical Officer on the big, shiny, scary Federation starship. Neither did any of his staff. Almost all Medical senior cadets were killed that fateful day on the Vulcan's orbit, so when the _Enterprise_ had departed with McCoy as her CMO for the first time, sickbay under his command was full of mostly inexperienced people. His only consolations were M'Benga and Chapel who had known for sure what they had been doing. Together, the three of them had built the strongest, the most experienced and fearless Medical department. Together, they saved people after the fight with Marcus, they saved people after the fight with Krall, and every loss his department had hit McCoy hard. They were family, and no matter how loudly he sometimes shouted at them, he would die for them in a heartbeat. So when Lee told him about the pirates in his sickbay, he promised himself to avenge every single bruise on his people.

The first thing he saw after entering the room was all medics standing in the middle of the room. All seemed to be perfectly well, calm and composed. They were following the regs: do not panic, do not show your fear or doubt. But he could see the dread in their eyes which was replaced with pure horror when they saw their former patient holding a gun and greeting the criminals.

The pirates were here too, three Humans and two Klingons, all confidence and control.

"T'ro, Findu, I need you to go to this office with this man. He'll take some meds from there. Make sure he doesn't do anything except that," Lee ordered, and the Klingons pointed their weapons at McCoy. He shrugged and left the main room.

Truth be told, he was scared to death, but not because two assholes of the Klingon Empire were looking at him menacingly. He feared what would happen to Lee if she wouldn't be able to handle this situation. He feared for Jim, and Spock, and Uhura, and for the rest of the crew who were his friends.

He didn't reach the shelf he'd been heading for. The sounds of shots made the three of them turn back. Both Klingons forgot about him in an instant and stormed out of the office to find their fellow criminals lying on the floor. Lee took them down with clear shots in their heads.

"Well, that was easy," she said, coming out from her hiding position behind them.

"Sir, what's going on?" M'Benga stepped forward.

McCoy gave the other Doctor and the rest of his subordinates another closer look. Yes, they were alright. McCoy fought back a sigh of relief. At least his department came out of it uninjured.

"You've heard the Captain," he replied, "We've been attacked. Pirates took hostages on the bridge. Lee's going to help us with this problem."

"But she's…" the other Doctor looked at Lee disarming the pirates.

"She's with us," McCoy said firmly and glanced down at her too, "Are you done?"

"Yeah, but you need to tie them up or something," she instructed.

"Do it," he ordered the medics.

"Aye, Sir," his people muttered, and he was proud of them once again. They were probably all confused, but they trusted him to make the right decisions. If only he'd trusted his ability to make these decisions too.

McCoy sighed and turned to Lee.

"Let's fix you up."

He took the tricorder, scanned her, and inwardly winced. Her sugar level and blood pressure were far lower than normal, and arrhythmia was there too. In fact, she was on the verge of collapsing, and he had no idea how she was still walking.

"Is it that bad?" she asked apprehensively, and he nodded.

"I knew it was too soon to let you out."

She gave him an apologetic smile.

"In my defense, I'd felt perfectly fine before this scum started shooting at me."

McCoy remembered how she'd come out of this shooting on the bridge unscratched and frowned.

"Is that how you always deal with such situations?"

She shrugged.

"There's math in everything around us, shots trajectories including. If you want not to get shot, you have to do the math. I can do that math."

"So you can stand in front of people firing at you and still not get shot?" he concluded.

"Not stand. Move. But yes. You just have to be fast."

He looked at her warily. Her set of skills was too wide to be just outstanding. She had a highly trained body, a mind of a genius, a ruthless character, and it was _disturbing_. She was a pirate, for fuck's sake. What is more, she was a leader of pirates, and only God knew who else she was too. At this moment he understood perfectly clear how simple it had been for her to arrange everything, and how easily she could manipulate him.

He still didn't know whether she was indeed helping or just using him for getting rid of her buddies and running for the hills.

He could knock her out, call security, and let them deal with the situation. It was the easiest option, and it was the safest one, even though it could, and probably would, result in someone's getting hurt or killed.

She met his eyes, and he saw understanding. She knew what he was thinking, and she knew that now he had all the power to eliminate her from the game.

Why on earth was it him to make this decision? He couldn't distinguish the right from the wrong anymore. He couldn't separate lies from the truth, so why was it him to decide to trust her or not?

Damn it all to hell.

"Just do what feels right," Lee quietly said, looking him straight into the eyes.

And this was his Lee again, the one and the only. He just wasn't capable of hurting her.

McCoy put the tricorder away and took the medication that would give her enough strength for an hour or so.

As always, she didn't flinch when he pressed the hypo to her neck.

 _Won't let you fall._

If she could let him down, fine. He couldn't do this to her.

She took a shattered breath.

"I'm not lying. I swear on my life, Leo, I'm not lying to you."

He shook his head.

"We'll see."

Her comm. chimed and broke the uncomfortable silence that fell between them. After the every-five-minute check, she tucked another phaser on her belt and turned to the medics.

"Stay here," and to him, "Are you ready?"

"Hell, no," he growled but followed her to the turbo lift.

"I can't believe you forgot what I told you last night," she muttered once the door closed.

His memory obligingly presented him with Lee's words from yesterday.

 _This person who I am with you… This person is real. This person doesn't lie, this person won't ever harm you. Promise me you know that._

Oh hell, he did remember. And at the thought of it, all emotions of this day had finally hit him in their full force. He stopped the lift.

"You'd already known about the attack when you told me this, hadn't you?"

She looked away and nodded.

McCoy closed his eyes and exhaled sharply.

"I hoped you'd have more faith in us," she said with a plea in her voice.

It was the last straw that destroyed his self-control completely.

"Faith?" he yelled, not bothering to hide the pain in his voice anymore, "Faith?! You threatened to kill Uhura, you threatened to kill me! You almost killed your goddamn pirate fellow. I'm sorry I decided you're just a little bitch playing with other people like they're toys, not living beings with all these shitty emotional responses."

Lee shrunk under his gaze.

"I shouldn't have said that," she whispered.

"Yes, you really really shouldn't have. It would have spared me a healthy dose of an emotional breakdown after knowing that someone you hold dear betrays you so easily."

"I didn't betray you. I never would," was an almost inaudible answer.

"Bullshit. How am I supposed to know that? I don't even know your fucking name," he snarled and started the lift again, "Let's just get it over with."

He saw pain in her eyes, but she wiped it out quickly and put her indifferent mask on again. God, he hated this mask. Was it even possible to trust a person who changes their skin so easily?

The door whooshed, and they saw the bridge again.

"Is everything alright?" she asked and received a positive reply.

She marched to the console where the downloading process was still in progress. McCoy studied her carefully, and when she stumbled and almost fell, hurried to her. He was stopped, of course he was stopped.

"Stay away," a Klingon growled at him.

"I'm a doctor. I have to check on her," he snapped.

"Let him come," Lee weakly said.

The Klingon bristled but stepped aside, and McCoy was by her side in a second.

She was leaning heavily on the console, on arm at the edge of it, another holding the phaser. He stood right in front of her, lifting her head.

"Are you ready?" he mouthed, and she curtly nodded.

He took a deep breath, snatched the phaser attached to her belt, and with all the speed he could muster he turned around and fired at the pirates to his right.

 _'...We'll have approximately two seconds before they realize what's going on. Try to shoot down as many of them as possible, but after you count one-two, duck. There will be a cover two steps on your right...'_

McCoy counted to two and rolled to the right, two blasts landing on the place where his head had been a moment ago.

 _'...There are fifteen of them on the bridge. We'd shoot down six, maybe seven in our initial attack, but the others would be alive and kicking. They wouldn't have cover for four more seconds, so you need to count to one and fire at the guys at your right. I'll do the same at the left. Then we'll hide again...'_

Their first attack left eight lifeless bodies lying on the floor, but their success pretty much ended here. When McCoy popped out of the science officer's desk he was hiding behind and fired, his intended victim ducked. Lee also took down only two of them.

So five more left, Utrar including.

 _'...Now the hardest part. We'll need a distraction so that we could keep shooting. I'll be that distraction...'_

True to her words, she jumped out of her cover and ran into the enemy. Blasts were flying at her, but she by some miracle dodged them all, ducking, jumping and somersaulting while moving towards them.

McCoy used her move to take down two Klingons. Just three more, and they were good.

 _'...I won't have time to aim once I reach them, so I'll try to disarm them. And you should keep firing...'_

She did just that, and all the pirates left were weaponless now.

It still wasn't over. Hand-to-hand combat started, and he ceased fire, not risking hitting Lee instead of their opponents. She'd lost her phaser too and now was swinging her dagger like a flag. He hurried to help her, but one of the Klingons suddenly ducked and knocked the phaser out of his hands too. Two other pirates continue fighting Lee and left their fellow to take care of McCoy.

Not damn likely.

A flawless right hook was usually enough to knock out any miserable bastard who happened to be at the receiving end of the said hook, but these were Klingons, and Klingons were tough.

The one that McCoy had hit seemed just startled, but when confusion was gone, snarled and attacked. And now the Doctor was going to have the pleasure of standing against a thoroughly pissed off Klingon.

With his peripheral vision, McCoy saw that Lee produced a miracle, as one Klingon was now laying on the floor in a pool of blood. That left them with Utrar and the huge killing machine attacking McCoy now. Time to put all the stuff they'd taught him at the Academy to practice. The knowledge of Klingon physiology would help him too.

McCoy barely evaded a hit and bounced back, breathing heavily. He was too old for this shit. His opponent was a combination of fists, hits, and fury that didn't allow McCoy to make a single hit. He had to win this fast, or the infamous Klingon endurance would take over.

But he'd be damned if he left Lee to face these bastards alone. So he dodged a powerful swing and rolled to the side, where a phaser was waiting for him. The Klingon was a few feet away, so missing was impossible. His opponent fell down, and McCoy jumped at his feet, ready to run and help Lee. He was surprised to see her not in a fight, but in a position that suggested she'd just thrown something.

Then time froze. McCoy noted absent-mindedly that she didn't have her dagger, so it must be the weapon she'd thrown. She was looking somewhere behind McCoy's back and didn't see a heavy boot collide with her stomach.

She cried in pain and flew backward, landing on a desk and breaking the desk's screen in the process. She didn't move again.

He stared at her still body, and it cost him his phaser that Utrar knocked out of his hands.

"Fight like a man," the Klingon snarled, "Fight like you have honor even though you obviously don't."

McCoy avoided a flying fist and considered his chances. There were only two of them now, and he didn't like these odds at all. Utrar was a better fighter than McCoy's previous adversary and the Doctor had no idea how Lee'd managed to last for so long against this bastard. Personally, McCoy thought he was fighting a losing battle.

"Bones, duck!" he heard Jim's cry and obeyed without a second thought.

A blast rang through the bridge. Utrar went down, and McCoy turned around to see Lee, lying on her stomach in the midsts of shattered glass and Klingons' and her own blood, holding a phaser.

He covered the distance between them in two big strides and dropped on his knees in front of her.

She rolled on her back, hissing in pain.

"Barrier," she wheezed, "Password three-eight-seven."

He frantically looked around.

"What's she talking about?" he shouted to Jim.

"You can turn it off on my console. Enter the code one-five-nine and then the one she's told you."

He raced to the chair and did just that. The cage disappeared.

McCoy didn't look at the freed crew, he was by Lee's side again. Jim was kneeling beside her too.

"I faked it," she whispered to the Captain, and Jim nodded.

"I got it when you told this Orion asshole to fuck off. Nicely done."

"Thanks."

And when McCoy thought that it was finally over, she went absolutely white and shrieked, curling into a ball and clutching at her stomach.

His heart skipped a beat, but he composed himself immediately. As always in such situations, experience and training kicked in, removing raw fear for her life from the scene for a while.

"Alert medical to get the emergency team up here," McCoy barked at Uhura's direction and tried to push Lee's hands away.

"Hold her," he said to Jim, and with a force too strong for his liking he removed her hands and lifted her shirt. The view blew all his professionalism out of the window and made him sick. Right in the middle of her stomach, he saw a huge red spot that was growing bigger with every second, indicating the spread of the internal bleeding. His staff arrived with a stretcher, and they lifted her thrashing form on it.

"Tell them to prepare the OR," he shouted again, knowing that Uhura would hear and comply, and raced to the place where he could at least try to save her. From all he had seen, her chances weren't big.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: WARNING: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF VIOLENCE STRAIGHT AHEAD.

I warned you at the beginning of the story that there will be M-rated violence, so this is it: the M-rated violence. So I'm telling you again: proceed with caution.

As always, beta-read by JularaVon. Thank you for helping me with the story.

* * *

With trembling hands, he poured himself a full glass of whiskey. He emptied it in three gulps and filled up one more. He drank it with the same speed, then put the glass aside and leaned heavily on the desk, closing his eyes and lowering his head. His pulse was still racing, so he took several deep breaths to calm down the violent beating of his heart.

He was still in scrubs, covered in Lee's blood. After the surgery, he hadn't had enough strength to pull it off and change into the usual medical uniform. What he really wanted was to be left alone, right now, so after exiting the OR, he'd marched to his office straight away.

Holy fuck, that was a hell of a fight for human life.

How many such miracles he could produce, he wondered, until something would finally go wrong and he wouldn't be able to grab the miserable moron of his patient from the death's strong grip and drag them back to life? Whose turn would it be? He really didn't want to know.

McCoy took the bottle and drank straight from it. He drank, and his whole life was flashing before him.

He would have been lying if he'd said he never felt so devastated before because he did. When Jim had died, and McCoy had seen his friend, _his brother_ , in that container bag, he'd felt dead too. He also remembered the horror when they'd told him that Joanna, his little princess, was trapped on Cerberus with the famine raging out. He remembered his father's death and everything after it, resulting in the collapse of his previous life. And while these three events were definitely leading the party of the most horrible things ever to happen to him, the last 24 hours certainly became the top four of the list.

Mainly because he'd spent twenty of it, trying to pull Lee back from the dead.

The initial problem was stomach walls that were torn apart after Utrar's hit. When McCoy started repairing the damage, her liver followed the stomach's example and produced a huge hole too. Two vital internal organs had just exploded, and she almost bled to death in seconds.

When they finally patched her more or less, her heart stopped, and it took a minute to make it beat again. She was dead for the whole goddamn minute, and this, combined with her overall heart condition, forced him into another surgery.

To make things worse, her body had been failing everywhere, and it took two experienced surgeons, one brilliant head nurse, and five no less gifted nurses to bring her back to life.

Twenty damn hours to make her stable.

It was one of the most difficult and exhausting cases in his practice and the longest surgery he'd ever performed.

All he wanted now was to collapse on something horizontal, close his eyes, and not open them for at least six hours.

But he still had shit to do.

His personal PADD informed him that he had seven unread messages, all from Jim, demanding a report on Lee's status. The last one said _'Call me ASAP.'_

McCoy allowed himself an exasperated growl. He wasn't ready to deal with the aftermath of Lee's games quite yet. He'd have to explain the decision to side with a criminal, he'd have to explain the decision not to follow the regulations. He'd have to explain a lot of things, and whether his position in Starfleet was going to save him from demotion was a very good question. Still, he'd have to face the consequences sooner or later, so why not now, when he was too tired to care?

So he commed his commanding officer.

"She's alive. But throwing her in a brig has to wait," he muttered after Jim's almost immediate answer.

 _"Don't mind the brig. Will she be alright?"_ Jim sounded relieved. He might be. It indeed looked like she'd helped them to avoid unnecessary casualties and wounds. They all owned her that.

"Yeah, even better after all this patchwork I had to do." McCoy grimaced at the thought of all tissues he had to strengthen and repair.

 _"Great. We'll discuss the situation after your rest. Now go to sleep, I don't want you on duty for the next two shifts. I am serious, two shifts. That's an order. Kirk out."_

McCoy shook his head and put the comm. aside, slowly lowered himself on the couch and closed his eyes. Lee, screaming in pain, filled his vision immediately. He groaned, opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Despite the exhaustion, he couldn't sleep, not after _that_ surgery.

He sighed. He'd been right when he'd called her a medical nightmare. But until now he hadn't realized the full extent of this truth. Almost all her internal organs were in a horrible state, which, paradoxically, couldn't be diagnosed with all the technology they had. Her tissues were extremely thin without an apparent reason, and they just couldn't see it. At the same time, any careless hit could have caused torn. McCoy had to harden all the tissues, and it had taken a hell of a lot of work.

And now he was staring at the ceiling and thinking about how poor her health really was.

She reminded him of Jim. The same disaster that other people call the immune system, more than one serious mental issue, and a long list of severe physical traumas.

She was also just like Jim when it came to decision-making. The same resilience, determination, thinking out of the box. And they both were like kids sometimes. Yes, she was just like Jim.

"Like Jim," McCoy said out loud.

And in an instant, everything just clicked. All the facts, guesses and hints were now lined in the terrible truth that must have been her life. When all the dots were in front of him, it wasn't hard to connect them, not really, not when he had almost the same story walking past him every day.

He called Jim again.

"Are you on the bridge?"

 _"No, in the ready room. Why?"_

"I think I know who she is and where she comes from."

Silence. Then,

 _"You do?"_

"Yes. I'll meet you in five minutes."

* * *

Five minutes later McCoy was in the captain's ready room. Jim was watching him curiously, and even Spock, who was there too, looked mildly interested. This really meant a lot.

"So?" the Captain prompted.

"Jim," McCoy carefully began, "Remember that night back in the bar? You said Lee's face looked familiar. Were you serious or just flirting?"

Jim tilted his head.

"Actually, she really reminds me of someone, but I have no idea of whom."

"Okay," McCoy said, feeling how the irrational hope that maybe he was wrong was fading, "So she looked familiar, and you couldn't recall where you've seen her before. But, you have a perfect memory, we all know that. You remember every face you've ever seen, even if it happened just once, even a long time ago."

Jim arched an eyebrow.

"Yes, that's me."

"So, it means that if you indeed met her, but can't recognize her now, maybe she looked different when you met."

"Bones, what are you implying?"

"I think you met her when you both were kids. She changed, but the resemblance is still there, so you recognized her."

"This is the most logical explanation," Spock put in.

"Damn right it is. Anyway. She is like you, Jim, she has all these allergies, psychological disorders…"

"Hey, I have none!"

"…One of them is PTSD for sure, and it has never been treated."

"And it means?"

"It means that at some point in her life she had a traumatic experience that gave her gray hair and made her panic every time strangers get close. Almost all her bones were broken when she was a kid. Her internal organs are just one big mess. And all of these allergies, thin organ tissues and the heart of an old lady can be the result of some event that affected the whole body. Like radiation, like poor ecology… like famine."

Jim was staring at him with his eyes wide-opened, realization forming in them.

"We didn't find anyone with her DNA," McCoy continued, "But we looked only on those who live now. What if she isn't supposed to be alive? Jim, did you search through that one classified archive we are never talking about?"

Jim's jaw tightened. He turned to his First Officer.

"Spock, check her DNA through the list of people who lived on Tarsus IV at the beginning of 2246."

The Vulcan frowned.

"Captain, I don't have this level of security clearance."

Of course. This list was classified, for the protection of those who outlived the massacre and for the Federation's own safety. Deceased people from this list were excluded from every archive, as the Federation was desperately trying to forget everything that had happened there. The Federation wiped these people out from every database, but some higher-ups still had access to the names of Tarsus victims. Jim was one of such higher-ups.

It took several seconds for the result to appear on the screen.

She didn't have gray hair and didn't smile, was almost two decades younger, but McCoy would know these eyes everywhere.

Lee's profile was short.

 _Name: Eileen O'Malley_

 _Species: human_

 _Date of birth: 2237.01_

 _Place of birth: Dublin, Ireland, Earth_

 _Date of death: 2246.02, aged 9._

 _Place of death: Tarsus IV_

 _Executed on the orders of Governor Kodos, issue no. 387_

So she had been there. She'd seen this massacre, was a part of it, was number 387 in this psychopath's list. Jesus, she had been there.

Well, it explained a thing or two. A compromised immune system, inability to trust people, and severe injuries of the past made perfect sense now.

McCoy took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He felt a strange relief. Now, when the explanation was finally in front of him, he could manage the long-lasting consequences of it. Now they would talk this over. Tarsus IV didn't explain how she'd become a leader of the pirates, but it gave a clue why she'd turned into one.

And good God, Tarsus. It was a forbidden topic on the _Enterprise_. One of the greatest tragedies in recent history, famine on Tarsus IV wasn't an abstract disaster that happened somewhere on the Federation's faraway borders. Tarsus was a personal wound of each and every crew member of this ship, just because their Captain had been there. The Captain who never ever talked about it.

McCoy couldn't blame him. The famine that occurred on one of the farthest Federation's colonies wasn't the topic to discuss in the everyday conversation. And what was there to talk about, anyway? Everyone knew that when the lives of eight thousand colonists were put on the line, Tarsus's governor Kodos had made a brilliant decision to choose four thousand people who were valuable enough to live and murder four thousand who weren't. And everyone knew that, until now, there was the information about 9 survivors from the wrong list, James Kirk was one of them. There were only nine survivors, and there was nothing to discuss.

Although, there was obviously another one.

* * *

They were staring at the screen for a good minute.

Spock was the first to comment on the situation.

"Fascinating," he said.

McCoy opened his mouth to say that there was nothing fascinating in this at all, but Jim cut him out.

"No," he said, "No. This is impossible. She can't be alive. She just can't."

"But the individual on the screen and the woman we call Lee are clearly the same person, Captain," Spock objected, as calm as always. But the Doctor knew the Vulcan well enough to see distress in his eyes.

"It's her," McCoy said, desperately trying to prevent his voice from cracking and failing miserably, "I'd know those eyes anywhere. It's her. Remember her now?"

"Yeah," Jim sunk into his chair and rubbed his eyes, "I saw her execution. She couldn't possibly get out of it alive."

"Well, she clearly did, as you can see," McCoy snapped and looked at her profile closely.

There was a short bio stating the date of her arrival on Tarsus and the fact that she was the only one in her family sentenced to death. Apparently, her parents didn't want to give up on her that easily, so they tried to save her. They hid their only child, but Kodos's people found her. All the family had been executed.

Below the bio, there was a holovid. The title said one word: "Execution." With a trembling hand, he reached down to play it.

Jim stopped him.

"No," he said firmly, "You don't need to watch this."

"I must agree," Spock was suddenly at his side too, blocking McCoy from the screen, "We know your patient's name, the rest is clear from her body scan. You don't have to watch this, Doctor."

McCoy bristled and broke free from his friend's grip.

"I have to. She lived through it, I can at least watch it."

A grimace of pain crossed Jim's face.

"There's nothing good in it. Look, I remember her now. Her execution was public. Her parents - they were on a good list. She was not. They tried to protect her and failed. Kodos made a lesson out of it so that people, you know, wouldn't try to save the ones sentenced to death. There were other families who did the same. So Kodos took the kids and killed them in the main plaza. He made their parents watch, then killed them too. That's all, end of the story. You don't have to watch, I told you everything."

McCoy met his friend's eyes.

"But she stayed alive. The holovid will help to understand how she did it."

"We'll ask her how she did it when she wakes up."

McCoy took a deep breath.

"Yes, we will. But I have to know. Jim, please. I need to know."

The Captain held his gaze for several long moments, then sighed.

"Well, if I were you, I'd want to know too."

He nodded to Spock and the Vulcan stepped aside.

"Last chance to stop," Jim said quietly.

McCoy just shook his head and pressed play. He was pretty sure he'd regret it, but as he said, he had to see it.

Just because he loved her.

* * *

The holovid came to life, and they saw a plaza full of people. Famine had already taken its toll on them, so they looked more like ghosts, not like living people. They stood silently, and the only sounds there were quiet gusts of wind. Even the sentenced to death stood still, which accelerated the surreality of the scene even more.

The focus of the vid was on the middle of the plaza, on some kind of a stage where Kodos's people, five kids, and one big pillar stood. Lee was first in line, her clothes torn and face dirty. She was the youngest, while the rest of the kids were probably in their teens. The youngest, the smallest, and the first to face her fate.

She was more like a shadow than a real child, but McCoy recognized her anyway. He looked at her past self and couldn't believe that the confident, strong, stunning woman he knew had ever been that shaken girl he saw on the vid.

He fought back growing nausea and ordered himself to concentrate.

The show was going on.

Near the stage, there was a deep pit and eight people standing a little farther. The kids' parents, brought here to witness their children's death.

One of Kodos's soldiers stepped forward.

"These people," he shouted, pointing at the children, "Are traitors. They tried to steal your food, your means of survival. They tried to take away the chance to live from the people worth living, from you! They tried to prolong their miserable, expendable lives, at your expense. Governor Kodos did not let them do it. And today, we will show what happens to people who are trying to take your lives away from you. Today, we will show what happens to people fighting the new order."

He stepped aside and gestured to the huge man behind his back to step forward.

The executor, McCoy thought with disgust.

The man carried something remotely resembling a big hammer with an end the same size as Lee's head while she was separated from the rest of the kids and chained to the pillar.

McCoy felt cold sweat running down his spine. He remembered her body scan and knew what was about to come. He wasn't sure he was ready to see the truth anymore.

Still, his girl had lived through it.

So he gritted his teeth and kept watching.

The girl made one small weeping sound at the sign of the hammer raised above her head.

"Let justice begin!" The man who was talking before proclaimed.

And the hammer fell on Lee's right arm.

Her scream made McCoy shudder. No, it couldn't be real. No one could be _that_ cruel.

The hammer rose again and fell on the girl's left arm. Her scream became a screech. She was struggling violently to break free, to get away from the hammer, but her chains held her firmly in place. No chance to escape, no chance to fight.

No chance to survive.

Another hit was meant for her left thigh. Her screech went higher in pitch, ringing through the silent plaza. Only one woman was sobbing, standing on her knees and begging for mercy, begging everyone, _anyone_ , for help. Must be her mother, McCoy thought, imagining for a second that it was his daughter standing there, chained to a pillar, unable to fight a big man with a hammer that was smashing her every bone.

No one stood forward to end the torture.

The executor thoroughly broke Lee's legs, then gave a hard hit into her chest. Her screams got stifled, and she was coughing blood now. The bastard broke her ribs, and she was having a hard time to breathe, let alone scream. She probably couldn't move at all, with her bones dislocated and broken.

"This," the man who did all the talking said, "Is how our justice works."

And with one final blow, the hammer lowered onto her head. McCoy noticed that this time the hit wasn't strong. It was intended to cause damage, not to knock her out or break her skull entirely. They needed her conscious, he realized. They needed her to understand everything that was about to come.

They unchained her and threw her into the pit. One short weak scream rang through the plaza as she hit the ground hard, unable to protect herself in any way.

And the executor proceeded to the next kid.

In silence, three Starfleet officers, proud citizens of the United Federation of Planets, explorers of the Universe and advocates of peace watched the torture unfold. One by one, all the children went through the same torment and were thrown down. McCoy was watching the pit attentively, but no one left it. It wasn't possible, Jim was right. With such injuries, no one would be able to climb those walls.

Finally, all kids were at the bottom of the pit. They wept and wailed and screamed, and their voices formed a surreal, horrible cacophony of unbearable pain and despair.

It wasn't the end though. Kodos's men carried wood and threw it in the pit too. The realization of what was about to happen dawned at McCoy, and he almost threw up. No, no, no, it couldn't be. It was cruel, too cruel even for these devils.

The men generously poured some dark liquid into the pit, atop of the wood. Then one of them ignited a lighter and threw it down.

Well, no, not cruel enough.

Screams went frantic, as frantic as a living being burning alive may sound. McCoy had an irresistible urge to run out of the room right now to stop hearing these screams, or at least to turn away and not to look at the burning pit, but he made himself watch, in the memory of those who were set aflame there.

No one ever escaped the pit.

Several minutes later, when the screams stopped, children's parents were lined on the stage, all in different stages of shock.

"This is what will happen to everyone who opposes the new regime," were the final words to the crowd.

Then the kids' parents were shot in their heads.

The vid stopped.

McCoy felt the disgusting taste of blood and realized that he was biting his lip to stop himself from screaming. He wiped blood with a back of his hand and met Jim's eyes. They were hollow.

"See," Jim said, "No one's got out. They all should be dead. After the execution, they buried the pit, and everyone who might survive the fire must have suffocated."

"But she's alive," Spock muttered.

"Yes, she is," McCoy agreed.

He didn't know what else could be said here. So he turned on his heels and left the room, heading for his quarters. He knew what should be done now.

* * *

McCoy knew a lot of shock-relieving techniques. He was a doctor, for christsake. But he was also an idiot because he'd almost never used it himself. The only shock-reliever he accepted was currently splashing in his glass.

And yes, he was going to get absolutely, insanely drunk.

Did everyone who he held dear have to live through a disaster? There were two famines in recent Federation history, and his closest people were on both of them, Jim on Tarsus, Joanna on Cerberus. And now it turned out Lee was marked with this sign of doom too.

Jesus, she was just a kid. He remembered her full body scan, and the truth that it revealed made him drain his first glass in one gulp. He poured more and slowly lowered himself on the chair.

She had been beaten to death, burned, buried, but survived, and for seventeen years had been doing God knew what. Learning Klingon, apparently.

The door hissed, and Jim let himself in and took another glass.

"She'll be alright, you know," he said after a long pause, "She's a fighter, otherwise she'd never get out. She's a fighter and a damn good one."

McCoy didn't reply, so they were silent for a while. Then Jim spoke again.

"You're not the only genius in the room, you know. I'm capable of revealing our guest's identity too."

"What are you talking about?" McCoy asked impassively, without taking his eyes out of the bottle.

"You've discovered who she was at nine. I think I know who she is now."  
"Why do I have a feeling I won't like this tale either?"

Jim huffed.

"Because it's not about fancy princesses and kind fairies. It's rather a tale about pirates and highwaymen."

McCoy poured the last drops to his glass and absent-mindedly noted how fast they drank a full bottle. He stood to bring them more booze.

"We've already suspected her being a criminal, and she proved it. Did you find anything specific?"

Jim sighed.

"Actually, yes, I did. Have you ever heard about the Fox?"

"Pointy-eared red dog? Yes, I think I have."

Jim snored.

"I mean the criminal with this nickname?"

"Of course I haven't. I'm a doctor, not a cop."

"Really? I didn't notice."

Jim barely avoided a slap in the head and shot McCoy a mischievous look. The Captain acted like a kid, but it soothed McCoy a bit, and he suspected it was the purpose of his friend's behavior.

"Anyway," Jim went on, "13 years ago someone robbed one of the Federation's main banks. Well, not exactly robbed, just transferred a huge sum on some fake account, then on another, and finally, it got out of the Federation. The trace ended somewhere near the Romulan Empire. It was an excellent work of a brilliant, experienced cyber thief who never got caught. Several similar cases occurred on other Federation planets, so Starfleet got involved. But they found nothing. As the first crime of this guy happened on Earth, they nicknamed the thief after an Earth animal."

Well, that was interesting. McCoy interrupted his staring into the glass and raised his head to look at Jim.

"How don't I know that? How didn't this crime of the century appear on the news?"

"High-ups usually don't like to show they've screwed up. And it was only the beginning. You see, when it's only about money, the officials worry but sleep well anyway. But when someone gets access to the most classified info, they are not so calm anymore.

So when the guy with the same hacker-style broke into Section 31 databases, they sounded the alarm. Someone stole several crucial technologies and didn't leave a trace. It was a year after the first crime.

Similar cases, with classified files stolen, kept on occurring for seven more years. Every time, it was a flawless cybercrime with the same stealthy style when you don't realize someone's reading your browser history until it's too late. Section 31 went on a hunt but fucked up every time the guy appeared here or there. And another interesting fact: all the info sooner or later ended up in the Klingons' hands."

McCoy didn't like what Jim was saying. Didn't like it at all.

"Then five years ago the hacks stopped. There were still cybercrimes, but all of them were solved, and none of them was Fox's. No one has seen such flawless breaking into the computer system since the guy's last breaking in. Not until yesterday."

Jim sighed.

"She hacked my ship with only one fucking PADD and spent about 5 minutes on breaking into the Federation's databases. The same speed, flawlessness, no traces, and these Klingon buddies… So, as Spock would have said, it is a logical conclusion that our little friend was stealing important information and giving it to the Klingon Empire. She _is_ a spy after all."

McCoy closed his eyes with his hands and tried to think about it rationally. Jim was right, of course he was right. The kid spent a good part of his life in lower circles, he knew this kind of stuff. And he was a decent hacker himself to judge the others' work. The question of the hour was what would they do now.

"What are you going to do about this?" he asked.

Jim shrugged.

"I honestly have no fucking idea. She stopped breaking into everything five years ago, so maybe she retired. And I have no idea what she is _now_."

McCoy shook his head. Something was terribly wrong here.

"But she had to be thirteen at the time of her first crime."

"Do you think teenagers aren't capable of kicking the main Federation bank's ass? She's a genius, Bones. It has to be her."

Another thought came to his mind.

"And what about Tarsus? She was on the wrong list, not valuable enough. But Kodos wouldn't waste such talent. How did she even end up in that list?"

Jim's face darkened.

"I guess it's hard to tell what a kid would finally become. I checked her school records - she was just average. She never shone in any of her classes. Kodos couldn't predict her becoming the person we know today."

McCoy had nothing to say, so he drank. The blessed fuzziness of alcohol intoxication was finally hitting him. He welcomed this opportunity not to think, just for a while, just for a change, just to have a little break from everything that was happening now.

"Talk to her when she wakes up," Jim interrupted his drunken trail of thoughts, "Tell her we know who she is and that that's alright. Offer her to stay. If she agrees, we'll come up with something."

"We still don't know whether she was helping, or just going to shoot me in the head once we were done with her Klingons and run for the hills."

Something very gentle blinked in Jim's eyes.

"She wasn't about to flee, Bones," he said softly, "She was fighting for you and she saved you."

"What are you talking about?"

"That blow she missed… She missed it because she was trying to protect you. There was a pirate behind your back, he was no longer unconscious and was about to shoot you down. She allowed that big guy to hit her so she could throw that dagger. She knew exactly what would happen, but did it anyway. With a mind like hers, it wasn't just an instinct. It was a deliberate decision, weighted and assessed from different angles. If this is not the act of love, I don't know what is. She loves you, and this is as clear, as my shirt is golden."

Your shirt is yellow, you moron, McCoy wanted to say, but changed his mind and decided not to comment.

"She did what had to be done. Excellent quality for a Starfleet officer and your girlfriend." Jim said with a smile.

McCoy snorted. Right, girlfriend. His girlfriend was a Tarsus victim and a world-famous criminal. He knew how to choose a woman, that's for sure.

Jim drained his glass and stood, still smiling.

"Everything will be alright now, Bones. You'll see."

McCoy looked at his friend's calm face and reluctantly smiled back. Maybe Jim was right. Maybe everything would calm down and he finally would have an opportunity to know more about the woman he loved. Maybe they had the future. Maybe, maybe…

He put the empty glass aside and lied down. He fell asleep ten seconds later.


	19. Chapter 19

Hi, me again! HUDSON46, thank you for giving your feedback; the story will be completed, don't you worry. And again, thank you all for your reviews, they warm my heart.

This chapter is kind of transitional, but one important thing happens here. We'll get to more drama in the next chapter.

As always, beta-read by JularaVon. Thank you for helping me with the story.

* * *

The cold air of the morgue made McCoy shiver as he stood in front of two lifeless bodies, the unfortunate bastards who had been unlucky enough to get in Lee's way two days prior.

Stab wounds were not the leading cause of death in the twenty-third century. People nowadays preferred phasers or poison, or weapons of mass destruction. No one used sharp objects in a fight anymore, but the woman they picked up at Tari had nothing to do with normality. She could use sharp objects alright.

She definitely knew where to hit. The two pirates McCoy was looking at had been killed with an exact knowledge of how to kill a man in one blow.

The first had been sliced almost in half, which was rather impressive given that Lee's dagger wasn't that big. She must have made back-and-forth moves, so it deepened the wound and hadn't allowed the Klingon to use the ability of their race to fight with one of the vital organs damaged. It was the pirate she killed in a fight. He died in minutes, and McCoy would have never had a chance to save him, even if the Doctor hadn't had his hands full of the pirates' dying leader.

The second casualty was Human. He was the one who had intended to fire at McCoy and who Lee had killed with her dagger thrown through the entire bridge. The dagger had flown twenty-five feet before hitting its target. It was a bullseye, literally. She'd hit the pirate's eye, so the dagger penetrated the brain. It was instant death.

All McCoy's experience shouted at him that this was the work of a professional killer, but he refused to listen to it. Even after seeing Lee fighting, he didn't want to believe she was something more than a cybercriminal.

McCoy sighed and turned away from the bodies.

They needed to talk to her. He needed to talk to her. Jim still wanted her to join them; McCoy suspected this wish only grew stronger after the Captain had seen her in action. McCoy didn't understand how his friend would make sure she wasn't spying on them and wasn't dangerous to keep onboard, but the kid presented a wicked smile and said he would find the way to reveal her true intentions. Jim was sure she abandoned her previous criminal career, and McCoy let it hang in the air for a while.

They needed her to wake up and tell them the truth. Otherwise, Jim wouldn't be able to see the whole picture and figure out how to deal with the situation. Before they made a move, they had to know the truth. And for that, they needed Lee awake and finally talking.

He had no idea how much time she would need to regain consciousness this time. A simple flu knocked her out for five days. Who could say how long it would take her to wake up after almost dying?

It was only two days since that fight on the bridge. They dealt with the aftermath of the pirates' invasion pretty quickly. Thanks to Lee, no one had gotten seriously hurt, there were just a couple of concussions and several bruises. Even Kervaz was alright, his head wound properly treated.

McCoy left the morgue and made his way to the patients they still had in sickbay. He walked past the ward where Lee was lying, resisting the urge to come in and check on her. He'd done it four times today, and it was more than enough for now. Instead, he marched to the two nurses arguing with a girl in a red shirt. McCoy was preparing a long lecture containing his extensive medical knowledge and the explanation of why the security officer wasn't allowed to leave sickbay just yet when his comm beeped.

McCoy looked at the notification. Then he turned on his heels and without giving a damn about what people in the room might think of him, he ran to the ward where the woman he loved was regaining consciousness.

* * *

Lee looked horrible. His trained eyes wouldn't miss her unnaturally pale skin, exhaustion on her face and more prominently obvious underweight. But her eyes shone as they usually did, and her smile was the same she gave him when she wasn't mad at him. And he admired her again like he always did.

"Wow, I'm not in a brig," were her first words. Her voice was hoarse and weak, and she frowned at the sound of it.

McCoy made himself not stare. Something huge had just dropped off his shoulders, the weight he didn't realize was there until it was gone. He blinked away tears of relief and looked through her stats.

Her condition was way better than the state she'd been in when she first appeared on the _Enterprise_. The next few weeks she would have to rest, but in general, she was okay now. If she avoided any heart strains, she would be fine.

"It can wait," he smiled at her.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you were mad at me."

He traced a line down her cheek, and she leaned into the touch.

"I am," he replied, "But it can wait too. For now, I'm just glad you're alive."

She caught his hand and laced their fingers together.

"Two good news, that's good. But what happened? I what, passed out because of the slightest hit?"

"It wasn't the slightest hit, Lee, and it wasn't just passing out."

He explained what had happened, and she shook her head in disbelief.

"That's strange. All those times I was like a punching bag, but nothing serious ever happened."

"There's the first time for everything, girl. How do you feel?"

She shrugged.

"Dunno. A bit tired, but I don't think I'll pass out soon."

"Does anything hurt?"

"Nah."

"That's good."

An uncomfortable silence fell.

She regarded him warily, then sighed.

"Okay. We have to talk about the elephant in the room, don't we?"

He nodded but didn't reply. He should say a lot of things. First of all, he should call Jim because it was his direct order. But before Jim appeared on the scene, before anything became official, he wanted to talk to her alone. He just didn't know where to start.

"You want to say something," she stated and sat in her bed.

Her body tensed a little, but she didn't put that damn neutral mask on. Her face showed concern, she was obviously on high alert, but at least now she let him see her emotions. Finally.

If the situation depended solely on him, he would forbid any tiring activities or strong emotional outbursts. But the situation was serious, and they needed her to tell the truth as soon as possible. So he relied on the strongest meds he had dared to put into her system and begun.

"Jim offered you a place on the _Enterprise_."

She blinked.

"Sorry?"

"Jim thoroughly enjoyed playing 3D chess with you and he asks if you want to do it more often. In this case, you are welcome to join Starfleet and beat him as often as you can."

Lee was staring at him for several long seconds. Then she blinked again and burst into laughter that gradually grew into hysterics. She covered her face with her hands, trying to muffle herself, and soon she was shaking from suppressed giggles.

It wasn't the reaction McCoy expected.

"What's so funny?" he asked, feeling slightly offended.

She shook her head without taking her hands off her face, still not being able to stop. Then she gave up on being quiet, threw her head back and laughed in full voice. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she was trying to calm down.

"Sorry," she groaned, wiping tears from her face, "Don't take it personally, but seriously, it's just so _hilarious_."

"But why?" he tried to hold back the annoyance in his voice but didn't succeed.

"It's just," she shook her head, "Me, in Starfleet… God, it's so absurd I can't even consider it an actual offer."

He frowned. It wasn't the answer he'd expected. He thought she would be happy to know they'd have a chance to be together. Or she would take her eyes away and politely decline, and in this case, he would know that their relationships wasn't too important for her to change her life so drastically. But this… This was strange.

Her hysterics stopped as abruptly as it had started.

"But why?" she demanded, now deadly serious.

"Why what?"

"He's just seen me bringing pirates on his ship and negotiating with slave traders, not to forget breaking into the ship's systems and making myself familiar with classified information. And after that, instead of throwing me into the brig, he offers me a place on his ship. Don't you think it's a slightly unexpected offer?"

"That's Jim Kirk for you. He thinks you are good and that maybe you would want to join us. And you helped us, so why not?"

She tilted her head, and her face closed off.

"Why would I want that?"

This question was surely not what he'd expected to hear.

"But, but…"

He didn't know what exactly he wanted to say. This was an opportunity for them to be together, and if she deliberately refused to see the offer for what it was, maybe she wasn't that interested in him as he thought.

"But what?" she asked again in an emotionless voice.

He took a deep breath.

"I thought you'd want to stay with me," he muttered and winced at the sound of these words said out loud.

She gave him a long look that betrayed nothing.

"What does it do?" she pointed at the IV connected to her arm.

No, she would never stop surprising him. What the IV had to do with this?

"Delivers a mix of meds to your body," he replied automatically.

"Is it vital?"

"What a stupid question? It helps you to heal."

"It's not then," she stated and pulled the IV out of her vein. She did the same with all IVs connected to her body. The screen of her biobed and his comm. chimed synchronically, signaling of the change.

"What the hell are you doing?" he roared, but she was already out of the bed, stomping past him.

"I'm not having this conversation when I'm bedridden and pathetic," she snapped, pausing at the doorway, "We'll talk in your office."

She stepped out of the room.

It took him several seconds to process the situation. When he finally stormed out of the ward, she was about to enter the office.

"You! Come back to bed now!" he bellowed, but she paid him no attention and passed through the entrance. The door slid shut behind her.

"For the love of God!" he yelled at the door, covering the distance to it with long strides.

He felt several curious glances, but mostly, people ignored the scene. They must have got used to it, he thought grimly, entering the room.

Lee stood at his desk with her hands crossed over her chest.

She was an image to behold. It seemed like every color of her body went brighter; her pale skin turned white, her eyes changed their usual radiant green to the tone several shades darker, her hair was like a fire that a long time ago had failed to turn her to ashes, and the silvery strand was almost glowing now, being a constant reminder of what exactly she had once gone through. It was hard to look intimidating in her current state, but she managed just that, giving him a look darker than a black hole they'd once sent Nero to.

He refused to be intimidated and matched her glare.

"I'm not asking if you are insane, because you obviously are. I'm just asking why didn't you wait at least a couple of days before running around after _almost dying_. I've just fixed a serious heart condition. This time, you really should rest and try to be as calm as you can possibly be. Does your health mean nothing at all to you?"

She ignored his words.

"I wonder," she said with ice-cold rage in her voice, "Are you aware of how much of an asshole you actually are, or you just think it's perfectly acceptable to act as you do and don't make people want to strangle you?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he growled, "Hell, I thought there was no head injury, but apparently, there is something. I'll get you a brain scan."

"So it's the second option," she nodded to herself, "Okay then. Time to reveal some secrets here."

She uncrossed her arms and started pacing back and forth.

"I knew you liked me from the very start, I can always tell when people like me, or want me, or whatever. I always know what people think of me. And I knew you liked me. In a not just 'I want to fuck her' way, but you actually cared. But since I've got here, you're trying your best to distance yourself from me. Your reasons are lost to me, but the thing that matters is that you obviously want me to be as far from you as possible, and at the same time you wouldn't stop looking at me like you want to take me then and there. One day you are nice, the next day you look like you regret we've ever met. And what sucks even more, you never said anything, never did anything to show that you actually, truly feel anything aside from physical attraction. I know you are a kind man to make sure I feel fine, and that you are attracted to me in some way, but aside from that, you didn't give me anything to believe that it's not just a passing affair for you. Everything I've ever got was mixed signals."

She stopped to give him a hard glare, then resumed her rotations.

"Finally, you obviously made a decision to give us a chance," her voice became more like a hiss, her pacing grew in speed, "But even after that, you didn't give _me_ a chance. I risked my very life to save you, you and your friends, mind you, but it wasn't enough. Even when I explained why I couldn't warn you, you didn't trust me, didn't even try to do it. I was risking everything to get you out of trouble, and you weren't happy with me anyway. Nothing was ever enough for you, and you always, always acted as you are doing me a favor to be with me. And now, you have the nerve to look me in the eye and say that I should stay on this tin can because the great Jim Kirk offers me to stay and because _maybe I want to stay here for you_."

She threw her hands in the air.

"But why should I do that? Why should I stay for a man who doesn't even want to say 'stay with me, I want us to be together'? Why should I stay for a man who allows me to adore him with no promise to give anything back?"

She stood in front of him, and the wave of white-hot fury she emitted became palpable.

"You never give me proof you want to be seriously involved with me. Never. You know how I feel, _everyone_ knows how I feel, but still, you keep your distance. I told you that you mean everything to me, _and I proved that_ , but you still pushed me back. I never know where we stand and where are we going. So tell me, why should I stay? Are there any reasons I shouldn't leave, aside from the obvious Kirk's desire to swell the ranks of his science department?"

Later McCoy decided that the fact he'd let her finish was enough of a proof that he was a sane, logical, reasonable man, unlike the opinion the ship's crew had about him.

"Oh, and you were just an angel!" he exploded the second she finished her rant, "Like you were perfectly honest and transparent. I didn't even know your name, and you wouldn't tell me!"

"I was protecting you!" she shouted back, "Imagine me explaining who I am, just imagine. You would have to report on me or keep your mouth shut and commit treason. I think neither option would suit you."

"And how was I supposed to know that? You didn't give me anything!"

"You didn't either! How could I tell you anything when I didn't know for sure if you just wanted to fuck me or if there was something more behind the obvious desire to do it?"

He opened his mouth and closed it, unable to come up with a decent retort. They scowled at each other, breathing heavily. Suddenly, her expression changed from livid to concerned.

"Hold on a second, did you say 'didn't'?"

He ran his hand through his hair in exasperation.

"What? When?"

She frowned.

"About my name. You said you didn't know my name. Not don't, but didn't. It's like you know now."

He wasn't nearly as good at concealing his feelings as Lee was. And he was too mad at her to even try to hide hurricane of emotions inside him. So she didn't need to hear his answer.

"You know," she muttered, "Okay. The question is what you know."

And there went the problem of approaching the situation carefully. He sighed in resignation, his anger vanishing at the memory of the nine-year-old screaming in pain on the Tarsus plaza.

"Eileen O'Malley," he said quietly, "Presumably executed on the orders of Governor Kodos in 2246."

He expected anything from hysterical laughter to a new panic attack. But she just nodded.

"I knew eventually someone would look at that archive. And who was the genius suggested to check the Tarsus victims?"

He met her eyes. They were dark, and the indignation he didn't feel anymore was obviously still inside her.

"Me, Eileen. It was me," he replied in a low voice.

She shot him a look full of ice and hatred.

"Don't call me that!"

He resisted the urge to take a step back.

"Why? That's your real name."

She threw her head back and laughed, bitterly this time.

"Eileen O'Malley is dead, Leo. Executed at the age of nine, in public, in the most horrible way possible. Did you watch the vid?"

A little girl, thrashing in agony, flashed before him again, and he nodded. The glare she gave him made McCoy avert his eyes.

"Oh no," she spat, "Don't give me that look, don't give me your pity. I had enough of those back then, and it didn't help me a bit. So don't you dare to look at me like that. Don't you dare."

She half-sat, half-leaned on his desk and looked down, breathing deeply.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. It wasn't your fault, so what's the point."

He looked at her and was surprised to see corners of her mouth twitched in a crooked smile.

"But seriously, Tarsus? How did you know? It was almost impossible to guess."

He shrugged.

"Your body gave you away. Only several situations might cause this state. There were no signs of radiation, and poor ecology would never change your organs like that. It only left starvation, hence famine. You are a human girl, probably born or lived in the Federation, so we almost definitely should have at least some information about you. Then, there were only two cases of famine that could affect you, Tarsus and Cerberus. I ruled out Cerberus because of your age. You are an adult. If you were there, your body wouldn't have suffered that much. Plus, you had your bones broken at an early age, and the timing was more or less the same. So there was only one option left. We looked at the archive and got our confirmation."

She nodded.

"Nice logic. Pretty impressive, if you ask me."

"Thanks."

Silence fell. McCoy couldn't help thinking about her standing and exhausting herself. After all their shouting, after the big revelation, all he wanted for her was to be safe and sound. He was a doctor. He cared not because it was his job. This job was his _because_ he cared. Whatever was happening, all he ever wanted was his patients' good health.

"Can you do me a favor?" he ventured to ask.

She bristled.

"What do you want?" her voice was harsh again.

"Sit down. Please. Any strain on your heart is delaying your recovery."

She didn't move, just wiped all emotions out of her face. It wouldn't fool him anymore. She used this defensive mechanism only when something was too much to bear it openly. So, for whatever reason, the request brought her a lot of pain.

"There's no need for that. I'm coming back to my bed."

Even being up from her deathbed for less than an hour, she was fast. She was almost gone when he caught her arm.

"Lee, wait."

She glared at his hand, and he let go. She stepped back.

"I…"

He didn't know where to start. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't done it for ages and working things out through a conversation wasn't the skill he was good at. It was so goddamn scary to bare his soul again, but she deserved it. She deserved to know that the man she'd almost died for was as insanely in love with her as she was with him.

 _She was worth it._

He took a deep breath and started what he believed would be a poor-quality babble.

"I fell for you the second I saw you. I couldn't get you out of my head, can't do it now. You were beautiful, young and approachable, and it was easy to consider it an affair, nothing serious. But then I've got to know you. I realized how brilliant you are. You are wild and free, and unpredictable, and smart, and you annoy me to no end. And honestly, I don't remember when I felt so many strong emotions at the same time before. It feels good though, you feel good, and when you are with me, I feel as close to happiness as I can be at this time of my life. And at some point, at the very early stage of our… acquaintance, I realized how much better you deserve."

He blurted it out in one breath, so he had to stop to get some air into his lungs. Lee stood two steps away from him with her arms crossed over her chest. Her expression was unfathomable.

He pushed the fear of being rejected aside and went on.

"You are free but look at me. I am ten years older than you, my life belongs to Starfleet, and I don't know how to treat a woman properly. Besides… I didn't think it was serious for you. You didn't trust me, and although yes, I couldn't keep my hands away from you, it still bothered me. You can do so much better, find someone better. I'm not the best choice when it comes to serious relationships. I don't deserve you."

It pained him to say these words, but they were true. Still, she had the right to choose what to do with her life, so he gave her what she wanted - and needed - to hear. The confirmation.

"But if you still want to be with me and to give us a try… Then, please, stay with me. I don't know how it all will work out, but I will do everything I can to make it work."

McCoy covered the distance between them in one long stride.

She didn't move away, didn't flinch. Her face was as impassive as ever, but her lower lip was trembling as she bit it. He took it as a good sign.

"I don't know how I can go on without you," McCoy continued quietly, "You made me alive, but if you leave… I'm a dead man again. So…"

He stood right in front of her; their bodies almost touching.

"Stay. Please. I'm lost without you. Lee, stay with me."

Her mask broke. Silent tears filled her eyes as she turned away from his gaze.

McCoy stood, waiting. He put all power into her hands, and now it was up to her to decide what would they do now.

She shook her head and finally met his eyes, and though there were still tears on her cheeks, she was smiling.

"You, in fact, don't understand how to treat a woman, do you?"

It was all the answer he needed.

"Come here."

He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Screw you," she growled, giving him a bone-crashing hug in return and sobbing unceremoniously into his chest.

"Screw you too," he replied, stroking her hair lightly.

They stood there for what seemed like ages. She was warm and alive and _his_. What is more, she was a genius, and he wasn't far behind too, and it meant they would find a way to be together.

"It's not true, though," she whispered when she calmed down a little, "The things you said about deserving me. The truth is… It's the other way around."

She distanced herself to look at him.

"It's me who isn't good enough. You think I'm great and smart and all, but I don't deserve you. You have no idea how much I don't deserve you."

It was so textbook he almost laughed. The children of Tarsus would always stay the children of Tarsus. At a very young age, they'd been told they don't deserve to live, and this was what pushed them into all these crazy schemes. He'd seen it countless times in Jim; the irrational urgency to prove themselves and a strong belief in being not good enough no matter how often and obvious the evidence of the opposite was presented. All their insane tricks and wins against all odds were an opportunity to show the world that they were good, that they had earned their right to exist. They threw themselves off the Romulan drill, made a space jump to the ship full of enemies, and won fights with one single dagger. They were screaming at the world, begging to see their value, if only the world would bother to _look_ ; but still assured in their own unimportance. McCoy doubted it could ever be healed.

He opened his mouth to object, but she raised her hand to silence him.

"Let me finish."

She freed herself from his arms and started pacing again.

"I'm an outlaw, now you know that. I believe that Kirk can somehow explain how a huge gang of pirates appear on his ship, but… If Starfleet ever finds out who I really am, we are all fucked. You, for letting me stay, and me, for being, you know, me. I will just get you into trouble. This is why I can't just agree to stay, though I really want to. And you… You don't know who I am, not really. I did so many horrible things," she stopped in the middle of the room and stared at the wall, clearly seeing different places and different times, "I'm a monster, Leo. I've just killed two people and I don't give a single damn about it. I am a murderer," her voice was soft and sad, "And nothing can change that."

It was true, and he knew it. She'd injured one of her people for a stupid, absurd reason and killed the other two with astonishing accuracy. And judging by the fact she'd scared away five heavily armed Orion ships only with her threats, she had quite a reputation.

He recalled her conversation with the slave trader:

 _'I still think ripping his limbs off wasn't necessary, sweetheart.'_

 _'Yes, it was. It was a demonstration of force so that you motherfuckers could see who you're trying to screw up.'_

So at some point in her life, she removed someone's limbs from their body. McCoy doubted it was the only thing she'd done to the poor bastard.

She said she was a monster, and unfortunately, to some extent, it was true.

"Don't you want to stop?" he asked, the meaning of her words slowly washing over him.

"I do. But I can't. Tried so many times, but with the life like mine it's impossible."

He believed she tried. She could have been a senseless killer in the past, but she could feel, she could give mercy, he knew it. After all, her phaser had been set to stun when she'd been firing at her former accomplices. She could kill if it was what had to be done, but she wasn't looking for blood. And it was something.

"This is your chance to change it. You can stop doing it. Hell, I thought you've already stopped," he said mildly.

She crooked her head.

"Why would you think that?"

He sighed. It was going to be one more strain on her heart, and it hurt him almost physically to know that all this conversation was pushing her away from the recovery with every word said.

"We kinda figure out who you are exactly, past you and present you. I analyzed your health issues, Jim analyzed your hacking style," he replied quietly

She raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

"He thinks you're the Fox, whatever that means. Is he right?"

She turned away.

"Yes," she exhaled.

"So it's not a problem either. We know who you are. We accept that. You just have to promise to give up on your previous life. But didn't you stop? There are no records of you doing anything for the last five years."

She shrugged.

"Yes, I quit. Mostly," she admitted without looking at him, "But your offer means you know nothing about me, know nothing about the Fox. No one knows I guess."

She finally faced him. There was this sorrow in her eyes, the sorrow of a woman who'd seen so much and done so much so the past wouldn't leave her easily.

"So tell me," he approached her again. She didn't pull back, didn't look away. Her breath was shallow.

"What do you want to hear?" she whispered.

His heart was pounding, but he forbid himself to give in to her pleading eyes and back off.

"The truth," he said firmly.


	20. Chapter 20

Lee was sitting in McCoy's chair, a warm hoodie he dug from his civilian clothes on her shoulders, and a glass of a protein shake in her arms. He couldn't bear her standing and exhausting herself any longer; so when she'd refused to come back to bed, he agreed to stay in the office on several conditions: she would sit still, drink the shake, accept a hypo and try not to worry too much.

Jim had positioned himself in front of her, a cup of coffee in his arms. Lee'd agreed to talk, so McCoy, at last, followed his orders and commed the Captain so he could also hear the tale.

The kid looked tired. Cleaning up the mess after the Klingons, though as relatively easy as it was, was still a nuisance, with the necessity to oversee hull damage repairing and to question the prisoners. The Captain had a lot to do these days, and the Doctor reminded himself to order his CO to rest.

Like the kid would listen, McCoy thought bitterly. He was leaning against the wall and watching Lee closely. She had regained control over her feelings and was looking remarkably normal. It was as good as they were about to get at this point of her recovery.

"I'm glad you're alive," Jim was saying, "Getting rid of the slave traders would have been a pain in the ass if you hadn't helped. But the next time, please, let me know what you are up to. I am a better actor than the good Doctor here."

She gave them a polite smile.

"I really hope there won't be the next time, you know."

"No kidding," Jim huffed, "I don't think I can manage another gang of your buddies in the brig."

McCoy wondered how she felt about the pirates she'd sacrificed to get the Enterprise out of trouble. There must be some remorse, right? It didn't sit well with him; the fact that she could use living people as her 3D chess pieces and not give a damn about them after they played their role was outright disturbing.

She was in her interrogation mode, so she didn't do so much as twitch. Even if she cared, she didn't want to show it.

"What are you going to do to them?" she asked calmly.

Jim's expression shifted from semi-relaxed to all business.

"It depends on what you'll tell me. You know I want you on the ship. I saw your solution to the T'ror equation, and it's brilliant, but I believe you are capable of so much more. We can help you to become a great scientist, though you probably already are one. I get you don't like Starfleet much, but give it a chance. I've been there, I should know. I used to hate the damn establishment too, but here we are now. I found family here, and you can also do that. You can stop running and have a home. And we both can go out there and make sure things like Tarsus would never happen again. What do you say?"

She sighed.

"You are very optimistic in believing you can let me stay. How are you going to explain to the command why exactly you want a criminal without proper education on your ship?"

"Again, it depends on what you'll say. The command doesn't have to know your story. I have to."

She smiled sadly.

"I'm just afraid you'll change your mind once you hear the truth."

Jim shook his head in determination.

"I won't. You deserve this chance. Of all people, you deserve it."

They met each other's eyes, two people who had outlived a massacre, gone through hell and back, and who probably understood each other better than anyone in the Universe.

"Tell us how you became you," Jim said quietly, "And I promise not to judge. I know how it feels to live the life you are living. I know how hard it is to break free from it. And I know that sometimes we need the outside force to drag us out. One good man did this for me," pain blinked in Jim's eyes at the memory of Christopher Pike, "Let me do the same for you."

Lee and Jim held each other's eyes for another minute. Then she took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay. Where do I start?"

McCoy caught himself shivering in anticipation. He'd been waiting for this since her first day here.

Jim leaned back in his chair.

"Well… My Comm. officer believes you are half-Irish, half-Icelandic. She will have my hide if I don't ask you if this assumption is correct. You can start with that."

Lee's features softened.

"She's right. My father was from Dublin, I was born there too. When I turned four, we moved to my mother's farm in East Iceland."

"So Irish father and Icelandic mother, huh?" McCoy huffed, "I've always known you Northerners are crazy."

She snorted.

"Can say the same about the Southerners. Who the hell lives in this frying pan you call Georgia? Your brains get boiled before you say 'oh fuck it's hot'."

He rolled his eyes, and she gave him that warm smile that never failed to melt his heart.

"When did you leave for Tarsus?" Jim asked and broke the spell. The coldness of reality hit McCoy again and he bit the back of his lip in frustration. Lee's face went neutral, and she continued in an indifferent tone indicating she was in full control of her emotional and physical state.

"I was eight when we left. My parents got an offer from the Tarsus Academy. They were both coders, pretty good ones, and they agreed."

Her face remained calm and detached when she was talking about her parents, but there had to be the pain behind this mask, and McCoy's heart ached for her. It was all wrong to fight back the sorrow of losing her family and keep herself in check. He'd lost his father eight years ago, and it still hurt like hell when he was forced to talk about his dad. Besides, he was an adult, the man who had the luxury to know his father for twenty-eight years before losing him. Lee had never had this opportunity. She'd been just a kid when her family had been torn away from her, and making her suppress her feelings on the topic was just wrong.

McCoy focused on the story again, brushing away the thought about the storm that might have raged underneath this insanely steady composure.

"You remember Tarsus before the famine," Lee leaned back in the chair too, making herself comfortable, "It was beautiful, with beautiful and happy people building their bright beautiful future. And then there was that fungus. It came from nowhere and destroyed the food."

Her voice remained as steady as always. McCoy envied such self-control a little, come to think of it. She looked like she was talking about the weather.

"My parents were smart, but I have never been like them. I've had an eidetic memory, but I didn't know what to do with all the information I knew. I didn't know how to process it; sometimes I couldn't even follow the simplest tasks at school. It all was just too much, and I didn't know what to do with it. This is why they decided to get rid of me. You saw how everything went."

McCoy observed her very closely in case of any unwanted emotions to cut the conversation off and avoid another cardiac arrest. He saw nothing.

"How did you survive?" Jim asked, adopting this detached way of speaking too.

Her face didn't change a shade at the memory of the execution.

"There was a hatch at the bottom of that pit. People who built the colony probably used it for something and then left it there. They threw me literally onto it. Cut my eyebrow on the handle when I fell."

Her grip on the glass tightened as she was finally letting her emotions be seen.

"I saw wood and fuel tanks. I might not know what to do with all the information I was getting, but I was never stupid. I knew what they wanted to do to us."

Her gaze went dull and distant.

"I still have no idea how I managed to open the hatch with both arms broken, but I did It. I was just in time. They were done with all the kids and were about to start the fire. There was darkness at that hatch, and I didn't know what was down there, but… It would still be a better death. To fall somewhere and die from the impact than to be burned alive. So I let myself fall."

I wouldn't let it happen again, McCoy vowed silently, you wouldn't fall into nothingness alone anymore. I wouldn't let you.

"It wasn't deep, maybe six feet, maybe less," she continued, "But the hit was hell, and I blacked out. Used every curse word I knew back then when I came to consciousness," she chuckled darkly, "Oh hell, I was so angry I hadn't died," she shook her head at that memory, "I hoped everything would end, and everything would be peachy and simple. Should have known better. Simple was never the case for me."

She sighed and took a sip from her glass.

"So I needed to make a decision. Either to stay put and wait for my death to come or to try to get somewhere. I always hated waiting for anything, so I figured if I had to die, I might at least not do it bored."

McCoy fought back dark laughter. So she had always been a pain in the ass. Never able to be still, always curious, always moving. Wild, untamed girl. Dear God, he loved her so much.

"The right arm hurt less, so I crawled to the right. Don't know how long I crawled, but when I got out, it was night. The tunnel I was in was some kind of an old sewage pipe. I think they used it at the very beginning of building the colony and then made new pipes and abandoned the old ones. My pipe ended in the bushes. No one was around, and I just lied there. I think I used all the energy I had left, and I was happy. Like, really happy, because I knew it would end soon. Then I passed out."

Her eyes dropped to the glass in her hands as she was fiddling with it unconsciously.

"I woke up in bed. Nothing hurt, and I was pretty comfy. Someone had found me, treated me and put me into bed. Guess who it was."

There was only one possible answer to this question, the answer that, however improbable, explained everything, bright and clear.

"Klingons?" Jim voiced the obvious fact.

She nodded.

"Correct."

McCoy shook his head in disbelief.

"Why the hell did they rescue a human child?"

Her lips twitched, but she didn't meet his eyes.

"Oh, they had a perfect reason; it had everything to do with a Klingon called W'tok Mirsenn. He was the one who saved me. Believe it or not, but he was kind, in some twisted way a Klingon can be kind. He said they found me and rescued me from the cruel creatures that my kind is. I remember him talking for hours beside my bed, talking about the crimes the Federation committed, about their dishonor and vileness, and I believed him because I knew from experience the truth of his words."

"I think I can see the logic in his actions," Jim said grimly.

"Oh yes. W'tok had an idea. He thought he could take a child, an abused child from a different world, save them and make them soldiers of the Klingon Empire. His plan failed many times, and he stopped trying. Kids just died because they couldn't keep up with the Klingon training, or they didn't want to go against their own folk. The High Council had already given up on the plan, but W'tok happened to be passing by Tarsus, and he saw what was going on. They saw me escape. W'tok decided to give it another go. He thought such brutality would turn me against the Federation. So he saved me, treated my wounds, and made sure I hated the Federation with all my being. He succeeded."

She shivered and pulled the hoodie tighter to her body, and McCoy silently tapped at the wall computer, adjusting the room temperature to four degrees warmer.

"When I was healthy and all, they gave me a choice: to get back to the Federation or to stay. My parents were dead, and I didn't want to be part of the world that tortured me. So I stayed."

Her eyes turned darker, though her voice and her face didn't change.

"When I agreed to stay with them, they gave me a present. They caught the man who was the executor, that man with the hammer. They were keeping him just for me, they said, so I could avenge myself and my parents. They chained him to a pillar and drenched him in fuel. Then they gave me a key, a phaser, and a lighter. I could either let him go, shoot him, or… use a lighter. Guess what I chose."

"Something tells me he died, and it wasn't painless," Jim replied coolly.

McCoy shuddered. Burning people alive was wrong. Child abusers or not, it just wasn't a right death.

And Jesus Christ.

She was just a kid, what monsters make a kid do that?

Lee pointedly didn't look at them.

"It wasn't," she said in her mild way of telling horrible things, "I was nine. They saw what I'm capable of and decided to try one last time. They started to teach me. They taught me how to fight and how to use the resources I had. They found out I have an eidetic memory and they showed me how to control it.

My life hadn't been the same ever since. I started to be good at math. They had pretty good experts, but soon I became better than them."

McCoy bit his lip in anger. A gifted mathematician, she could have done so much good should anyone had given her a chance. Even in their own world and for their own sake, Klingons could have turned her into a scientist who'd have made their lives better. Instead, they turned her into a weapon.

"There was that fighting," she was going on, "They had a special academy for special children who were to become special forces, the elite. I was training among them. They were Klingons, and I was a Human, an outsider, so I had to be better than any of them, and I became better. I was angrier, more vicious than them. Can you imagine that?" she smiled crookedly, "A Human kid, running on pure hatred, overpowering Klingon kids. They taught me how to use my size against my rivals, they taught me how to be fast, and it became my saving grace against their strength. The rest of the kids didn't stand a chance against me. They were just violent folks, but I wanted revenge. W'tok made sure I remembered everything that happened to me, he reminded me every day, and I remembered, oh hell, I remembered. With every passing day, I hated the Federation more and more and more. I doubt I felt anything but hate those days. In the end, there was nothing I wouldn't do. I could tear my enemy's throat with my bare teeth, I could skin my enemies alive, or set them on fire without a second thought. My instructors encouraged me to do it, they needed me ferocious, and they needed my loyalty."

A picture of a teenager Lee slicing her victim's skin off with her dagger made McCoy weak in his knees. He hoped it was just a figure of speech, but something told him she was just listing the facts from her life.

She was silent for several seconds, staring into space, then shrugged the memories off and went on.

"They had it. The Federation tortured me and almost killed me, Klingons saved me. So I hated the former and was ready to do anything for the latter."

"So there wasn't any coercion," Jim concluded.

She shook her head.

"No. I was ready to die for the Klingon Empire, let alone fight and kill. They had me where they wanted me in the first place. I was too talented to use me just as a killer, so they showed me how to break into computers. Aside from the math, it was my biggest talent. Must be a family thing," her lips twitched a little, "I was as good as I was at theorems, and soon they started giving me simple tasks. Then not that simple. And then there was that bank, my first big case.

I broke into it through the inside. I literally walked into the building, hid into the vent shafts and when everyone was gone, came to the main computer and did everything I needed."

She shifted in the chair and stopped clutching at the hoodie.

She was warmer now, good.

"This is what I became famous for. But I was still a trained killer, the best they had out there, so they used that as well. A small human girl who doesn't look dangerous or suspicious was too damn good to use her as just a hacker. So they sent me wherever someone needed to be killed, and I went where they'd told me to go. I didn't care. I hated the Federation, I hated Starfleet, and I killed them wherever I could.

Those were my teenage years, and you know how teenagers are. I hated pretty much everybody, and with all the training I had, it was a dangerous combination. I've always loathed the Federation, but I started to loathe Klingons too, because I realized what they'd done to me and why. I stopped distinguishing friends from foes in my quests, and the Council let me do it. W'tok was the only one I reported to, and he allowed me to do anything I wanted. I don't think it worried him. He only cared if among the people I eliminated there were the people he wanted to be eliminated. Nothing else mattered, so I could slay pretty much everybody and get away with it. I mean, the High Council wouldn't do anything to me because I brought more good than evil to them. I had a task, I completed it, and everyone who crossed my path was dead. Remember how the slave traders reacted to my threats?"

Jim tilted his head.

"Reputation like this doesn't happen overnight."

"Yeah. It took years of violence and rivers of blood to create an image everyone was afraid of. I became the best, and I killed like nobody did, sometimes not as fast as my victims would have preferred. Ten years of an unrestrained fury, and everyone was shitting their pants whenever they saw me."

"Why did you stop?" McCoy mused. It was hard to believe anyone with such baggage behind their backs would abandon those kinds of fun.

Her eyes were fixed on her glass, refusing to make eye contact.

"I was growing older, and this lifestyle was growing older too. One day I found myself literally elbow-deep in the blood of five bastards whose only fault was that they were harassing a waitress. They did nothing bad, but I followed them and killed them with a wrench, turned them into one bloody mess."

McCoy cursed his vivid imagination that produced an image of Lee with a wrench, covered in blood and her victim's intestines. He was glad she wasn't looking at him.

"I realized who I had really become. I was twenty-one. I cleaned myself and went straight to W'tok. I said I wanted to quit, to leave. Funny thing is, I think he was happy to hear that. I started to bother him, but killing me was impossible at that time, I was too good. So he let me go."

"Just like that?" McCoy didn't believe his ears. How in seven hells was it even possible? Retiring at such an early age wasn't an option if one intended to live long enough to enjoy the retirement. Or he so believed.

But Lee nodded, turning her glass into her hands.

"Just like that. He knew I hated everyone too much to join anybody, so he let me go in the hope I wouldn't bother him. This is how my career as the Fox ended. I was still an outlaw though. It was the only thing I knew, so I joined the pirates, traveled with slave traders, traveled on my own, stealing here and there. It was nothing serious, so for people who were looking for me, I disappeared. And actually, that is pretty much it. I was floating like that for five years, and then I met you."

She finally lifted her head, a small but genuine smile gracing her beautiful lips.

"I was long past actively hating the Federation. I recognized you straight away, but I didn't want to kill you. The times when Starfleet uniform was a good reason to end someone's life in the most horrible way possible had gone. I was just curious to hang out with the decorated heroes, so I introduced myself."  
"What about torture?" McCoy raised the topic that worried him the most since he had seen her burned skin and ripped-off nails.

"What torture?" she looked puzzled.

"The one you've got yourself into before Tari. All the burns, where did you get them?"

She couldn't forget that someone had done this to her, could she?

"Ah. It's a very funny story," she nodded as in being tortured there was nothing wrong at all, "I was with the guys that are now in your brig. We wanted to steal some stuff, and we got what we needed. When we were leaving, I stepped into an old-fashion trap, no electronics, just a net on a hook, can you imagine that?" She chuckled, and this time there was mirth in her voice.

Unbelievable.

"The fuckers left me because the people we were stealing from were coming back," she continued in a much more cheerful tone than she used before, "And that stuff happened to be very important, as they were the owners, a local gang as far as I understood. They thought I was a spy from another gang and tried to get some information. Obviously, they got nothing, because I had nothing to do with their bloody local roughhouse. I escaped, but it took time, and they had a good opportunity to have fun with me. I might have caught that flu in the process. So that is how I ended up here."

She shrugged as it was nothing, finished her shake and put the glass aside. McCoy stared at her in disbelief.

Only now he understood the true extent of her strength. He knew just a fraction of what had happened to her, and he was one hundred percent certain that had these things happened to him, he would've broken. This girl… She wasn't broken. There were fractures and scars, she was beaten badly, but she wasn't broken. Broken people didn't crawl in the dark on the off-chance that somewhere out there they might find a rescue or a better death. Broken people didn't stop when they realized they did the wrong things. Finally, broken people didn't emerge from the torture chamber and forget about it several days later.

Broken people didn't fight. They lied down and cried and gave up. She cried too, but as soon as she was finished, she was wiping tears, getting on her feet and continue fighting. He would never understand where she found so much strength to carry on, but he knew for sure that from this moment she wouldn't be facing her storms alone.

"What do you think of the Federation now?" Jim's voice dragged him out of his thoughts back to reality.

"Dunno. After everything I've seen, it's no better nor worse than the other worlds. Shitty people, good people, cowards and heroes in equal amounts. Honestly, I don't care. The Federation might have almost killed me, but Klingon turned me into a killing machine, so I'm not very thrilled to join them again. Besides, the debt the Federation owed me for that execution is paid, so we are good at that. And I've been a soldier my whole life, I don't think being a Starfleet officer is harder than being a Klingon warrior. But… Are you sure? What if Starfleet ever find out?"

Jim's expression was firm.

"They won't. We'll create a new identity for you, a new life. I'll think of something. Right now, I need to be absolutely sure you aren't a spy and are telling the truth."

She nodded.

"Fair enough. But how would you know that aside from just taking my word for it?"

"I…"  
Jim's comm beeped, and he swore.

"I told them not to disturb me," he grumbled, flipping the comm. open, "Kirk here."

"Captain," Uhura's professional voice rang through the room, "You are needed in the ready room. We've been hailed by the Headquarters and they said it's an emergency. They ask you to contact them as soon as possible."

"Understood."

Jim grimaced.

"I've got to go. We are not done though, I still need to finish this conversation."  
"I understand, Captain."

Jim nodded, and without further ado marched out of the room.

McCoy pulled out his tricorder. Lee rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine, honestly!"

"Leave it to me to form a conclusion."

He scanned her, trying to focus on the data, not on that they were now alone and probably bound to discuss the story that had been just told.

The readings were satisfactory. He finished the examination and looked at her. She was deliberately avoiding his eyes.

"See," she said in this indifferent voice he hated so much, "I'm no equal to you. You're a decent human being. I… I don't know who I am, but I definitely shouldn't be allowed to even stand near you. I just wanted you to know that. It's fair for you to know."

One more second of staring at this neutral facade of her, McCoy thought, and he would be screaming.

"Oh no," he growled and crossed the distance between them, kneeling in front of her and taking her face into his hands, "Don't use this mask on me, darling. Not any more. Show me the real you, and we'll talk this over properly."

She shook her head violently.

"I can't," she whispered, still fighting everything back, though it was obviously harder with every second passed, "It's just easier to talk about this like that. I let it loose, I realize it was me, it was all me, and I just can't…" her voice wavered and she closed her eyes.

He caressed her cheeks with his thumbs and she inhaled sharply.

"But it wasn't you," he said angrily, "They made you do it. They twisted your mind, the mind of a hurt kid, and made you their tool. But even after that, you were still able to stop. It took time, but you figured it out, all by yourself, and it makes you way better than the ones who were taught to be kind in the first place. You went against your training, against everything they told you was true and did the right thing. So no, Lee, it wasn't you, it was all them."

She looked at him with bloodshot eyes.

"It's not entirely their fault," she muttered, "We are all responsible for what we're doing. No one threatened me or anything. All I did… I did it because I wanted it."

"They exploit your pain!" he all but shouted at her, and she winced. He inwardly cursed himself for that and continued in a much lower volume, "They took a traumatized child and screwed up their psyche. The fact that this child ever stopped is a miracle. So don't blame it on yourself. You are trying to become a better person, and with all the things happened to you it's a remarkable thing. So stop insulting my woman, will you? She's amazing and I don't want anyone to think otherwise."

He took her into his arms, dragging her down to his lap. She didn't protest, and once settled, hid her face into the crook of his neck.

They sat in silence for a while.

"I'm lucky I met you," she said suddenly without changing her position, "You showed me that compassion and kindness can still live in people. You know… All my life I was looked at like I was a thing. A pathetic dying thing, a killing thing, a pretty thing to have sex with. I was never looked at like I am a living being. But you looked at me like that. You looked at me and saw a pretty girl, and you also saw past this face. You looked at me and saw a person, not a doll, and you always treat me like a person. And you care so much…," she sighed, "I've never seen a person who cares so deeply about the people around them. After this Engineering incident, you fought for every one of them. You… you are a kind man, Leo. Probably the kindest person I've ever known. You are trying to hide it, but everyone knows. You are a self-sacrificing idiot, but this is the people like you who still hold this stupid world together. You are wonderful, and though I really don't deserve you, I'm going to grab you and not to let go."

He kissed the crown of her hair.

"Stop saying you don't deserve me, will you? I suggest we agree that we deserved each other quite a lot."

He felt her smile at his skin.

"Okay, it might be true," she chucked.

"My whole sickbay doesn't even pay attention to us anymore. They've got used to us," McCoy continued, sensing a change in her mood and determined to make her stop brooding.

"They'd better be."

She raised up her head to face him. She looked so young and fragile it was hard to believe she was indeed a weapon of mass destruction. She was it though, a killer, a spy, a cyber thief. He accepted that probably too easily to feel comfortable with the quality of his conscience, but still. She was a product of her surrounding environment, so should this environment change, maybe she would change too.

Or maybe she wouldn't.

He loved her the way she was: crazy, unbearable, stubborn. Also brave, strong, smart and caring. He loved her and he accepted her with all her dark past and a slightly screwed mind.

And God, she was beautiful. Of all women he had, Lee was the most beautiful of them all. Her beauty wasn't as sleek and classy as his ex-wife's. It also wasn't as cute and polished as his other passing affairs'. Her beauty was consuming, addictive and wild. She was fire, dangerous and unpredictable, but warm and obedient if treated correctly. She was passion, and he liked passion. He liked it very much since the day she forced him into a kiss and proclaimed his anger being sexy. They were both hotheads, and it probably was the thing that had attracted them to each other in the first place. They felt each other's rough temper, and they liked it.

Damn, what marvelous sex they could have had.

What marvelous sex they still could have.

He blinked and realized he was staring at her silently. She was giving him a curious look, but her lips were already twitched in a mischievous grin.

Oh hell.

"I recall you can control your heartbeat?" he asked, suddenly out of breath.

The grin grew wider.

"Yes, I can."

"Can you do it now?"

She raised her chin proudly.

"Sure."

"Do it then."

Without waiting for a reply he cupped her cheeks, leaned down and kissed her.

It was slow and gentle at first. No tongues, just gentle lips' brushes, as they were savoring the simple fact of being together.

She shifted, and a moment later was straddling him and ruffling his hair. It kicked all softness out of the scene. His hands automatically flew to her waist and yanked her close. She gasped at the impact of their bodies' collision, and he held back a moan. How come he was already hard? They had started it thirty seconds ago.

They parted for air and looked at each other, their faces inches apart. Lee's eyes were dark again, and a wave of unrestrained desire hit him. He shuddered.

They'd already established they were together, and she indeed could control her heart rate, so he didn't resist the impulse to kiss her hard, without thinking about being gentle. She had been driving him crazy since the first day, so she could finally pay for it.

In the back of his mind, he registered she was returning the kiss with the same urgency, but it wasn't important now. All the restrained desire he felt, all love, and fear, and terror let itself loose, and he for once didn't want to control it. Without breaking the kiss he lifted her up and carried her to the couch, for the first time not caring how light she was. The only thought on the topic was that with such weight it would be very convenient to fuck her just like that, without looking for a surface to lean on. He dumped her gently on the couch and lowered himself on top of her. A moment later he was kissing her again, brushing his thumb against her waist and using his forearm for support.

She was making beautiful whimpering sounds and her hands traveled south, to his chest, to his abdomen, and then lower. He heard a long agonizing moan and realized she reached the hardness in his pants and that this moan was his.

The feeling was almost enough to send him over the edge, and it wasn't how it should be ending. He caught her hands and put them above her head, holding her wrists with one hand while another came back to its position on her waist.

Abruptly, her body stopped squirming beneath him, and she turned her head aside, interrupting the kiss.

"Stop," she breathed.

He froze. The impropriety of their position suddenly became very clear to him. He took a girl who panicked whenever anyone tried to restrain her moves, pinned her to the couch and held her arms. What had he been thinking? Clearly, he hadn't been thinking at all.

He let go immediately and pushed off of her.

"Damnit, Lee, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"Hey, where're you going?" she protested, wrapping her arms around him, "I just started losing it. Control over my heartbeat I mean. Personally, I don't care, but you would have shouted at me if I hadn't told you."

He realized she wasn't freaking out and sagged in relief.

"Fuck you," he moaned, hiding his face into her hair and shifting part of his weight on her.

"Yes, please. Can we do that?"

He heard a smirk in her voice and drove his tongue over her neck. The smirk became a gasp.

"No, seriously," she continued, panting, "When can we have sex? It's all about my heart, I know, we can't risk it now. So when? Please tell me you can hypo me with something and we can finally do it."

He took several deep breaths that didn't help a bit to calm the violent throbbing in his pants. Her words didn't help either, inviting him to just go for it. He wanted her, she wanted him, why the hell couldn't they do it?

"Gastrointestinal surgery with weak tissues repaired," he growled into her hair, "Ovarian cyst removal and heart surgery. The first means your body shouldn't be pushed or hit in any way, the second suggests everything near your ovaries should be treated gently and the third demands no tiring activities. I shouldn't have even touched you."

"It's not fair," she asserted and hugged him tighter, "I saved your damn ship. I deserve a reward."

"That's your reward."

He dropped several kisses on her neck. She moaned and jerked her hips up, hitting him just in the right place and making him hiss. But his mind had already cleared, and the rational part of it ordered him to stop this.

He listened.

With a frustrated huff, he gently freed himself from her arms and sat up. She emitted an exasperated whining sound, but let him go and straightened up too.

"Still not fair," she stated.

He put his arm over her shoulder and held her close.

"It's not the right time, and you know it."

She sighed.

"Yeah… It's just… Never mind."

She rested her head on his shoulder and something warm that had nothing to do with desire rose inside his chest.

"We can still kiss, though," he suggested and lifted up her chin. She smiled in reply, and he leaned down.

Their lips had barely touched when the wall comm chimed.

McCoy growled in irritation. The wall comm meant it was work interrupting whatever he was doing.

"I have to answer this."

She didn't protest, recognizing the call of duty when she saw it.

"Okay."

He dragged himself to the wall and pushed the button, one of his best menacing grimaces on his face.

"McCoy."

"Doctor," Jim addressed to him with his official rank, making McCoy remove a scowling expression and feel concern, "You are needed in the ready room. Send Lee to bed and come up here. And hurry up. Kirk out."

McCoy frowned at the dark screen. Something was off there.

"Leo?"

Lee approached him and took his hand. McCoy turned to her, feeling his arousal rapidly fading.

"Something happened up there."

She squeezed his hand, then let go.

"Go then. I know where my room is, no need to walk me there."

He nodded and pulled her to him once again.

"Behave, yes? We'll finish this when I'm done."

She gave him a wicked smile.

"Oh yes. We will so finish this."

"Damnit, woman."

He took her head and kissed her. He couldn't help it, not when she was giving him that devilish grin. It was like they were back to normal again, the way they used to be before all this Klingon mess; the way they were when she'd been kicking him out of his lonely shell with her stunts and late visits to his office. He missed these simple times.

She responded to the kiss but pulled back almost right away.

"He's waiting," she remarked, smoothing his hair adoringly "For the love of God, go, or I'll lock us up until we have enough of each other."

He huffed.

"Might be a while then."

She beamed at him, and he beamed back, surprised he still could do that. Then she waved her hand at the direction of the door, reminding him to get going.

He left the office with a silly grin on his face he tried to hide but failing.

* * *

His mood dropped when he stepped into the ready room. Jim was there alone, standing with his arms folded over his chest and an agitated grimace on his face.

"Take a seat, Bones."

McCoy arched an eyebrow and mirrored Jim's stance, ignoring the offer.

"Jim, what happened? Is anybody hurt?"

"No. Not yet."

"Not yet," McCoy echoed, feeling coldness building inside him.

Jim sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"It's all this fucking system update," he groaned, "It's goddamn automatic. Ship's main system updated that night. Now, if the ship's under attack, the distress call is sent immediately. The attack is assumed to be any hull damage. If the connection is dead at the time of the attack, the system checks the last week of the ship, and if anything bad happened, sends it to the command right away. The system did that check right after the update."

There was a tremor in McCoy's hands, so he clenched them to stop it.

"So they know about the attack," he concluded blankly.

"Yes. But it's not the best part. They analyzed what Lee did there, looked at what she hacked and how she did it."

Jim wouldn't meet McCoy's eyes.

"They are not idiots, some of them at least. They came to the same conclusion I had. Archer contacted me twenty minutes ago. He didn't ask for a report. He didn't ask for an explanation. He ordered to sedate her and lock her up. He ordered all my security department to guard her," he sighed, "They are not questioning her identity, Bones. They know. They are coming for her."

McCoy forced a wave of terror back and tried to concentrate on the things he could do, not on what he was helpless to do.

"But we are in the middle of nowhere. Are we turning back to the nearest starbase?"

Jim looked apologetic and very sad.

"Scotty's transwarp beaming equation," he explained, "They are going to use it, so it won't take them long to reach us."

McCoy took a deep breath. Panicking wouldn't help.

"How much time do we have?"

"They need to gather forces. There's no way they're not sending an army to get her. It means we have an hour, two at best. After that…"

"No," McCoy didn't want to get hysterical, he really didn't, but the fear of what was about to happen was too strong to be just pushed back.

"They sent her criminal record," Jim continued, "It's ten-pages long. The things she did are enough to throw her in jail for twenty life imprisonments. They are coming to get her, Bones. I'm sorry."

McCoy's legs gave up, and he lowered himself into the nearest chair.

"So they will put her in jail," he said flatly.

Jim's face went stern.

"Probably not. Have a look at her crimes."  
McCoy turned to the screen shoved in front of him. There was a file marked classified, and sections with titles in it.

Espionage, one page long. One page of cybercrimes. Seven pages enumerating people she killed, 1549 in total, and his head started spinning when he saw the number. The last page said 'Tortures', listed eleven people and the ways they were maimed.

He was absolutely positive he would regret looking at it, but his eyes were already scanning the text.

The first guy on the list had been skinned alive and died when his heart had exploded because of the amount of pain. The next victim bled to death as everything that could have been cut from the body had been cut from it. Another one lost eyes, fingers, and tongue. This one was alive when they'd found him, but he'd committed suicide two weeks later because the man had definitely gone mad.

McCoy's vision darkened, and he turned away from the screen. His heart screamed in agony. It couldn't have been her. Just couldn't.

But his mind knew better.

These were the crimes of a person with the reputation frightening enough to scare Orion armada away. These were the crimes of a person capable of not only surviving Klingon upbringing but eventually becoming a leader these Klingons would follow.

The crimes of the woman he loved.

Jesus.

McCoy shook his head, realizing Jim was still talking.

"Most of them, tortures especially, are accounted for in her teens, from fifteen to seventeen," the Captain was saying, "Since seventeen, she was mostly a hacker, killing Federation people now and then, but nothing special. Until her seventeenth though, she was going on a rampage. The record stops at twenty-one. She told us the truth."

"Not like it's gonna help her," McCoy muttered, "They'll lock her up for the rest of her life."

Jim sighed.

"I doubt there will be a court, Bones. She's too dangerous and no cell would hold her should she decide to run. There's Section 31 involved, and they don't do courts."

The terror McCoy felt a moment ago stepped aside and let an acute panic come to its place.

"So they will kill her. Jim, she has to run!"

He sprang to his feet, unable to sit still anymore, ready to run, to hide her, to help her escape…

Jim put his 'I'm the Captain and everybody listens to me' face and shook his head.

"No, she doesn't. If she runs now, we lose her. You lose her. I won't have that. I'll try to convince them she gave up on this, and that she's ready to be more than a raging psycho. Besides, it's too late, anyway. She runs, they'll still catch her."

McCoy gripped the edge of the desk to make physical sensations convince him it wasn't a nightmare.

Jim was right. The only possibility for her to escape now was transwarp beaming, and in her current state, it might as well kill her. Should she run any other way, they would get her.

McCoy's body started to shake slightly.

"How are you going to help her?" he didn't intend to sound pleading, but his voice cracked on its own, and he fought back a sob.

Jim's jaw tightened.

"I have a plan. But first, I need to talk to her. Alone."

The friends shared one long look. There were eight years of friendship between them, eight years of bickering, snapping at each other and saving each other's lives, doing the impossible now and then. If anyone could save Lee, McCoy decided, it would be Jim.

So he nodded.

"Okay. Just promise me it will work."

Jim looked away, and McCoy gritted his teeth to suppress a despairing growl.  
"Let's go," the Captain strode out of the room, and McCoy followed, feeling almost as helpless as when he'd thought he lost his best friend for good.

Only this time there wouldn't be any reviving super-blood to lean on.

Fucking fuck, McCoy thought as they were rushing to sickbay, he fucking hated space.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Okay, folks, this chapter is Jim's POV. I know my story is mostly McCoy's perspective, but this time I needed someone who isn't him to show how other people see our lovebirds.

Love. Fiction. 2019, thank you for your constant support! Your reviews always make my day.

And a huge thanks to JularaVon for beta reading the story. You are amazing!

* * *

Contrary to popular opinion, Jim Kirk wasn't a daredevil, and he wasn't reckless. Granted, he used to be a cocky asshole who thought he was smarter than everyone. It had been the case at the Academy, and it sure as fuck had been before it.

He wasn't that guy anymore. That 'leap without looking' thing that Pike had valued so high had been long gone. Maybe it had disappeared when he lost his ship after Nibiru. Or, most likely, it had waved its goodbye when he'd been looking in Marcus' eyes and had known he lost and that it would cost him his crew's and his own life.

So now he always looked where he was leaping. This is why he wasn't about to let Bones' girlfriend stay just because Jim thought she was indeed into the man. Jim was ninety-nine percent certain she really wanted to be here, but there was still one bitchy percent that could ruin it all.

Jim didn't want to lose his ship again. He hated to admit it, but his refusal to allow Lee to run was mostly based on the fear that the Command would decide he violated the rules and take the _Enterprise_ away and partly on the fear that Lee would do that. He couldn't risk it, especially when there were other options.

He stepped into the ward and gave the bitch once over. She was one hell of a woman, no doubt of it. Her ginger hair reminded him of Gaila, and though this girl wasn't an Orion, hooking up with her would have definitely been fun, you just had to look into these crazy eyes of hers.

When Jim had seen her for the first time, he had decided he would try hard to get her to his bed. She'd had a firm body, a great ass, and the way she'd moved suggested she had some good stretching, which could be handy in the kind of fun he had wanted to share with her.

But then she'd dropped on Bones and kissed him, and Jim had understood there is nothing he can do to separate them.

These two looked at each other like they were alone in the world. Bones stared at her with a hunger he couldn't hide, and she… She looked at the man like she was going to lose him at any moment. Anguish and longing were almost always in her eyes when she talked to him. It also was the sun she was turning into every time Bones wasn't mean to her that convinced Jim of the genuineness of her feelings.

Jim knew it was possible to act anything: love, hate, joy, or sorrow. He had done it himself several times and seen other people doing it successfully. But he had yet to meet a person who could act the light that comes out when someone you truly love carries you gently to your bed.

Jim doubted he would ever forget the day he'd run after Bones to enjoy the singing disaster. When the girl had dropped into the Doctor's arms, she had been outright glowing. Jim had never seen anything like this. The others had observed it too: adoration and love and yearning that everyone could spot a mile away except for Bones himself.

And then there was that fight on the bridge. Bones had been busy dealing with his own adversaries, but Jim had witnessed the whole picture. Lee had been constantly aware of the situation and never let Bones out of her sight. Jim had noticed that fracture of a moment of hesitation when she had been making the decision of whether to let her ex-buddy hit her or to risk Bones' life because the odds of that phaser set to kill were exactly fifty percent.

It _had been_ set to kill, and Jim would be forever grateful for the decision to throw that dagger. That day she'd saved not only the man she loved; she had saved Jim too because Bones had been and would always be the only person able to bring Jim back to life and health whatever the circumstances were. That day had been the day all Jim's doubts regarding Lee's feelings crawled away to kick the bucket.

But once again, Jim hadn't known it was possible to control one's heartbeat. It all could be a carefully designed plan, and she was good enough to construct all this. This is why he had to check, even though it would be painful for everyone involved.

When she saw him entering the ward, a well-practiced mask of polite indifference fell over her face. She was good at it, but so was he.

"I owe you," Jim said.

He did. If it wasn't for her, he'd have lost his people and probably his ship. Getting her out of trouble was the least he could do in return.

She shook her head.

"You owe me nothing. You saved my life first, so it was just payback."

It was a confirmation of her story, actually. Love or no love, but she thought like a Klingon: a favor and the return of it. She might have done it solely for Bones, but Jim suspected there were other motives for saving them all. She said the same about the debt the Federation owed her and that it was paid. It was another reason he was ready to take the chances; she didn't hold grudges anymore. She received a blow and hit back. End of story. She wouldn't go nuts again because of what had happened on Tarsus.

"I do, and that's why I'm giving you a choice."

He studied her closely to check if she'd already known. Her self-control was impeccable, so he just continued.

"They know you are here."

She didn't even raise an eyebrow.

"How?" There was no need to pretend she didn't understand what he was talking about. It was perfectly clear who knew what.

Besides, Jim had a feeling they'd gotten an understanding of the two ex-outlaws with no intentions to dance around the subject, but going straight to business. It was easier that way, and Jim was glad she wasn't some sissy to get too emotional about the shitstorm coming.

"System update."

She didn't look perturbed.

"I see. So I'm dead, am I not?"

"Maybe not. Look…" He leaned back on the wall and rubbed his eyes, "You did nothing wrong to me or to my people. So if you want to run, I won't stop you. Just make it believable and please don't hit me in the face. I don't have a smaller ship, but you can use transwarp beaming. You know what is it, right? It's dangerous, but you can try. You're tougher than Bones gives you credit for, you'll be fine."

She cocked her head.

"So I take it as a first option. What's the second?"

"You can stay. The offer still stands. I want Bones to be happy and I want you on my ship. If you stay, I'll try to convince them we can let you join us. I can bribe some of them and threaten others. There are a lot of things I can do for you _if_ I know I can trust you. I need the confirmation you're not lying. Any ideas how we can do that?"

He could say it straight away, but he was curious if she'd guess his intentions.

She gave him a lopsided smirk.

"It's so very convenient to have a touch telepath on board."

Yes, he definitely wanted her on his ship.

"It is."

"Will he agree to this?"

She would say yes. Jim released a breath he didn't know he was holding. The bitch truly loved Bones.

"If there is voluntary consent, then yes."

"What happens if I refuse?" she asked and his heart leapt in his throat.

"I'll lock you up, though I don't think it's a problem for you. But if you want to stay, you'll have to do it. It's either mind meld and proof you're not lying, or I clean my hands. I can't risk it, even for Bones. There's too much at stake."

She sighed.

"How much time do we have?"

"An hour now, maybe less."

She gave him an annoyed look.

"Why are we still discussing this then? Call your Vulcan. Just tell him the experience won't be pretty."

She was risking her life, and they both realized that. The Federation had been trying to catch her for a very long time, it would be hard to snatch their prey away from them.

Clearly, the risk was nothing for her compared to the alternative.

"So you really love him," Jim muttered, mostly to himself.

Her face softened, and she smiled sadly; Jim could bet it wasn't an act.

"Yes," was a quiet answer.

Jim nodded.

He saw why she fell in love with Bones. He saw that because they were alike. They were both survivalists, and they both knew, intuitively, what should be done to stay alive. Bones was their savior; they felt him and were reaching for him with all their power. Without Bones, Jim would be dead, and probably so was she. They both needed the man to keep walking this world.

It was extremely selfish. They both were using him, and it wasn't fair, but that was how they worked. Bones needed people to save, and they needed someone to save them when all the resources they had were gone. They needed someone they could trust. Bones was an ideal choice.

It didn't mean their feelings weren't genuine though. Jim loved Bones as his brother, in the way he never loved Sam, his blood brother. And it was clear Lee loved Bones too, with all her being. Still, it was an instinct that told them to love this man, and sometimes Jim hated himself for that. He suspected she realized how things were too.

He turned to the door.

"I'll go get Spock."

She inclined her head.

"I'll be here. I won't run, I promise. Not just that I don't want to, I just… can't. I'd rather die than leave him."

She sounded tired, and she looked like she could use a good afternoon nap. She woke up just an hour or so ago, Jim suddenly remembered. He also remembered that feeling himself, dullness and powerlessness after a particularly nasty surgery. He hated it and felt an unexpected surge of sympathy for her.

"I hope it won't come to that," he gave her a reassuring smile and set off to brighten Spock's day with the request to perform a mind-meld with a famous killer.

Oh, that would be so much fun.


	22. Chapter 22

"You want me to do what?!"

McCoy couldn't quite believe his ears.

Jim, this cunning son of a bitch, stood his ground.

"You are her doctor, I need you to authorize it. Without your permission, Spock won't lift a finger."

"Of course he won't lift his damn green-blooded finger because I am not letting you jackasses do it. You are out of your mind, both of you. Did you forget the possible consequences of it? If these consequences influence her, she's officially insane. Nuts. Mental. Crazy. Her nervous system will collapse."

McCoy ran his fingers through his hair in distress, pacing around the room. Did Jim forget how adverse the effects of the mind-meld had been with old Spock?

Jim had always been very creative in hiding his nightmares and the resulting sleep deprivation, but those kinds of dreams and complete impossibility to sleep without screaming his head off even he couldn't have disguised. The nightmares had been vivid, intense, and they hadn't belonged to him.

When Jim had gone to Lee's ward and closed the door, McCoy thought the kid was about to use some super-secret interrogation tactics they'd taught him at the Academy. He thought there would be the clash of the titans, one willpower against another. And then Jim had come out less than five minutes later and asked McCoy to allow a mind-meld.

It was a mortal danger for his patient, and this time McCoy wouldn't silence his professional integrity for the sake of so-called necessity.

No way in hell would he let this happen.

Emotional transference was enough to veto it, but that wasn't it. There were more side effects that his brilliant in his insanity friend seemed to forget. Mind meld could change blood pressure, cause arrhythmia or neurological disorders, which in Lee's current state could turn her into a vegetable or even kill her.

She had her heart stopped just two days ago, goddamnit.

"Bones, I have to know for sure she's with us. She's a remarkable tactician, and for all I know, she could have planned all this. I need to be certain, and this is the only way to reveal the truth," Jim reasoned, clearly thinking it would help to calm McCoy down.

A long string of curses that McCoy was about to present was cut off by Spock, who finally made it to sickbay.

"Captain, Doctor," The Vulcan greeted them with his natural 'What the fuck do you annoying Humans want from me?' expression, "Did you require my presence?"

"Yes, well…" Jim looked very sheepish now, "I need a favor."

"Captain?"

"I want you to meld with Lee."  
The height at what Spock's eyebrow shot would have made McCoy laugh had he not been that angry.

"Could I enquire what situation caused such a request?"

Jim set to explain everything happened today, starting with retelling Lee's story and leaving McCoy to fume silently to himself.

"I need to be absolutely sure she's not spying on us. Your Vulcan telepathy thing is the only way to see the truth," Jim finished, putting his confident and stony face on.

Spock didn't look impressed.

"May I remind you that the courtroom witness chair presents the same opportunity?"

Jim shook his head impatiently.

"I know normal people can't lie with their hand on this sensor. But the sensor reads heart rate and blood pressure, and she can control this stuff. So mind meld is the only option."

"You are also aware that I will need Miss O'Malley's voluntary consent to the meld…" the Vulcan was definitely trying to get away from this.

McCoy couldn't blame him. Lee's mind was probably not the best place to poke around.

"You have it. She agreed."

"…And Doctor McCoy's, as her attending physician's."

"And you don't have it! No way, she's not melding with you. It's too risky to do it… well, ever."

Aside from the fear for her life, McCoy really didn't want to show anyone how close he and Lee really were. They hadn't quite crossed the line yet, but on the night before the pirates' attack, they had definitely danced on it.

"Bones," Jim's voice went dangerously low.

"Don't 'Bones' me! I'm not allowing it."

A hydraulic hiss of the door interrupted Jim's no doubt idiotic retort.

"Gentlemen," Lee announced her presence with iron determination in her voice, "I see you are having an argument regarding the necessity to perform a mind-meld between a Vulcan and a Human."

"Why aren't you in bed?" McCoy growled at her, but she predictably didn't pay him any attention.

Her eyes were darting between Jim and Spock.

"You are forgetting a rather important thing," She marched to stand right in front of Spock, deliberately not meeting McCoy's intense glare, "I'm a civilian. I can make decisions with or without my doctor's approval. He can give recommendations, but I am free to follow them or to ignore them."

McCoy blinked, processing the meaning of her words. It felt like somebody had hit him hard in the chest because for a second he couldn't breathe. How could she do this to him? After everything he'd done for her, after all the times he'd saved her, how could she just shove him aside? He was a doctor, and he'd sworn to lead his patients to health, not to destruction and death. He wanted her alive and well, damnit. He did everything in his power to make her feel better again, he'd just spent twenty exceptionally exhausting hours in surgery to bring her back to life, for fuck's sake. And then she'd come and said that all his attempts to put her on her feet again were just fucking recommendations which she was fucking free to ignore.

In his view, it was betrayal, plain and simple.

He forgot everything he wanted to say and just gawked at her while she was still talking.

"I am aware of all the risks and possible outcomes. I'm giving you a voluntary consent to a mind-meld. I have to warn you though; some events of my life are pretty brutal. Nevertheless, I have no choice but to ask you this. Please, Spock. I need your help, and I need it now. Time is running out."

She produced a pleading expression on her face and stared expectantly at the Vulcan.

Spock clasped his hands behind his back.

"The consequences of a mind-meld might be severe. I am sure Doctor McCoy has good reasons to forbid it."

Oh dear. The man was still trying to get out of it with his sanity intact. Poor hobgoblin.

Lee loomed closer.

"It's either that," she said quietly, "Or a certain death. They will kill me, Commander, if you don't help me. Please."

Jim silently moved to her side, so now it was Lee and Jim against Spock and McCoy. Recklessness against caution, pure insanity against common sense.

Neither Spock nor McCoy could stand a chance. Not on this ship, not under this Captain.

Spock's shoulders slummed just a shade. He turned to McCoy.

"I am sorry, Doctor, but Miss O'Malley is right. As a civilian, she has a right to make decisions without her physician's approval."

McCoy didn't say anything. What was the point in all this? She wouldn't listen to him anyway.

He shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. Strange apathy consumed him as he watched the Vulcan put his fingers on her face and they both closed their eyes. If anything happened, McCoy would save her again. And then again. But at some point, and he was realizing it perfectly clear more often than not lately, all his knowledge and experience wouldn't be enough to get her back after a stunt like she'd pulled just know. It would be 'when', not 'if'.

He heaved a sigh.

He was too old for this shit.

Everything ended faster than McCoy had expected. The meld lasted for what seemed like several seconds, and then Spock was removing his hand from her face. Neither of them moved.

"Now you know I'm telling the truth," Lee muttered.

"Indeed," was the answer.

McCoy rounded on them to look at their faces and was astonished to see shock in Spock's eyes. Lee looked perfectly normal, and felt normal too if the tricorder readings weren't deceiving him.

She came out of it unscratched. Dear God above, she came out of it unscratched. Damn insufferable woman.

Spock looked strange though, and McCoy waved the tricorder over the Vulcan's body too. Spock's pulse was a little bit off the charts, and the Doctor could only sympathize. If she'd shown him the crimes that were on her record… No, he didn't want to think about it, especially about the last page of the list.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly to the Vulcan.

Spock didn't reply. Instead, he turned to Jim.

"I confirm that Miss O'Malley wants to join the crew. She thinks it is a good opportunity to start again. She still does not like Starfleet, but she thinks that if we, in her opinion quite decent people, serve here, it is possible for her to do the same. And," he hesitated, obviously trying to find the right words, "Her feelings for you, Doctor, are genuine. She respects you and wishes you only the best. You are the main reason she wants to enlist. Still, I think we can trust Miss O'Malley neither to turn on us nor to come back to her previous activity, even if she and the Doctor should cease to continue their current relationships. She does not regret the things she did, but she does not want to be the person she once was. She left behind her previous life and is in search of a new start. This intention is also genuine and quite strong."

"So you want to start from scratch?" Jim asked her and she nodded.

"If you allow me to."

Jim gave her a small smile.

"I knew you didn't lie. Well… I hoped you didn't. So I'm in if you are."

Her lips twitched.

"I'm in, Captain."

It seemed like fate waited for them to finish this because the next moment after the final agreement Jim's comm chimed.

McCoy knew what was it about even before the kid answered it.

"Kirk here."

"Captain," Scotty's voice filled the room, "We are receiving an incoming beaming signal."

Jim's grip on the comm. tightened.

"Will be with you in a moment."

He killed the connection and met Lee's eyes.

"Ready to face the music?"

"Face it? I'm going to sing along to it."

They grinned at each other maniacally.

McCoy shivered. It was usually that grin that preceded and frequently caused a good-quality disaster. McCoy had known that sign of upcoming destruction inside out by now.

"I'm off to meet them then, Spock's going with me," Jim started giving orders, turning his Captain mode on, "Bones, take Lee to her ward and sedate her," one glance at Lee, "Sorry, I have an order to do it."

She shrugged.

"Fine. Just don't let them kill me in my sleep."

"I won't," Jim promised, then turned to McCoy, "I'm sending security here, be ready for it."

The Doctor scowled in response.

Then the Captain and his First left, and the next second Lee was at his side. She took his hand that, to his surprise, was shaking, and squeezed it.

"I'm sorry I went against you," she muttered, stroking his cheek with her another hand, "I'm so, so sorry. Can you forgive me?"

He didn't want to look at her, so he stared at the wall behind her back.

"Does it matter? You did it before, and you sure will do it again."

He tried to break free half-heartedly, but she didn't let him go. Instead, she tightened her grip and pulled him down for a kiss.

He didn't want to return it. Or rather, he didn't want _to want_ to return it. She was reckless, stubborn and didn't give a fuck about his opinion.

These little demons in disguise of women. He hated them. But he loved her, and these could be their last moments together.

So he gave in.

With a curse, he tangled his hand in her hair and dragged her closer.

"I don't wanna lose you," he muttered between the kisses. It came out like a sob, but he didn't care.

She sighed against his lips.

"You won't. I swear you won't. Everything's gonna be alright, I promise you that."

He kissed her again, then distanced himself to look at her. His gorgeous crazy woman.

"I don't believe you," he replied, stroking her head and smoothing the mess he'd just caused.

She nodded.

"I know. It doesn't make it less true though. It will be all right."

She stepped back, still holding his hand.

"Come on. Time to dope me again."

He let her lead them to the main ward, ignoring curious looks people were giving their tight grip on each other.

Fuck people.

He loved this woman, and at this moment he wanted everyone to know that.


	23. Chapter 23

A swarm of people in black uniforms with black Starfleet badges and phasers set to kill filled the room seconds after McCoy left Lee's ward. He'd never encountered Section 31 before, but these folks sure as hell belonged to it. They hit every super-secret military intelligence cliche there was, and all wore an identical 'Look at me man, I'm so terrifying you should be fainting already' expression on their faces.

McCoy wasn't impressed. He had seen enough to know that in nine situations out of ten people with such looks were a minor threat and could be dealt with easily. It was a delirious grin and a maniacal eyes' gleam that usually sent a shiver down his spine.

Besides, he was done feeling scared. This whole situation was a mess, but it wasn't the first time he was thrown into the midst of a crisis. Wouldn't be the last.

Yes, Lee's life was in danger, but she was a sneaky bitch who could handle herself. And now, she had Jim who was a sneaky bastard too and didn't believe in a no-win scenario. She also had Spock, a scary Vulcan bastard who would be backing Jim up until his last breath. Then there was the whole crew who were no less badass than the people leading them. There were five hundred and fifteen people who got McCoy's back, and this knowledge gave him the strength to brave any disaster this world wanted to throw at him.

So instead of being terrified, McCoy gave the intruders a glare and stood in front of them, blocking the way to Lee's room. The _Enterprise's_ security flanked him, raising their phasers set to stun.

"You are pointing your weapons in the wrong direction, officers," a middle-aged woman in the same black uniform stood forward, "We are not your enemies. The woman in your sickbay is."

McCoy rolled his eyes. So they also had this pretentious way of carrying themselves that most of the higher-ranks bore.

Damn clowns.

Seeing that McCoy wasn't backing off, the woman handed him a PADD.

"We have orders to take into custody a person known as Eileen O'Malley. This is the order for her arrest signed by Admiral Archer. We need to apprehend her as soon as possible."

Archer's name was supposedly mentioned to get some emotional response from him, but McCoy had never been the one for the respect of the higher authorities. Especially after one of such authorities had almost started a war with the damn Klingons and had been seconds away from blowing the _Enterprise_ into oblivion.

So no, the Admiral's name couldn't make him lose his composure either.

McCoy glanced at the PADD to make sure it was indeed the order for Lee's arrest and looked back at the woman he silently christened Black Bitch.

"And how do you intend to do it? She's sedated, as per your orders," he growled, allowing familiar, burning, _soothing_ anger to flow freely through his veins.

"Wake her up. And don't let her have her clothes, her belt especially."

There was again that flash of terror for Lee's fate, but McCoy dismissed it with a shake of his head.

Enough.

He'd been scared enough already. Fear wouldn't help, neither would panic. Fury, however, might produce some miracles, so it was the fury he would stick to.

"Stand down," he barked to security, and they reluctantly followed his order.

Then he looked for his Head Nurse in the front row of the crowd of his staff. He didn't bother to keep irritation from his voice - she knew him long enough to know it wasn't directed at her, "Find something Starfleet standard that would fit that nightmare," he jerked his finger at Lee's room.

Chapel shot him a worried look but nodded and silently left.

McCoy turned on his heels and stomped to Lee again, five Section 31 officers, Black Bitch included, followed him.

* * *

It took Lee two seconds to wake up, assess the situation, and give McCoy a small reassuring nod.

"Hi, guys. Who are you?" she wanted to know, accurately applying a go-to-hell-I'm-not-showing-you-anything mask on her face.

"In the name of the United Federation of Planets," Black Bitch said, "You are under arrest. You need to come with us, please."

Lee raised an eyebrow.

"That's interesting. What are your charges?"

"Admiral Archer will explain everything to you, he's waiting for you in the interrogation room. You need to dress fast, please. Also, bear in mind that our phasers are set to kill. Any unexpected movement would make us open fire. So no funny business or we will kill you."

McCoy frowned. He trusted Lee to behave wisely and not to get herself killed before the show had even started, but the words about Archer were disturbing. Had the Admiral beamed aboard to question Lee personally? And if yes, why had he done it? It was really uncommon for the brass to get their hands dirty with such a business.

Lee couldn't not notice that too, but, naturally, showed nothing but mild boredom. She shrugged and slid out of the bed without a protest. Her robe hit the floor moments later, and she reached for a standard set of Starfleet clothes, ignoring five males in the room eyeing her naked form with different levels of interest.

McCoy shook his head in a flash of amusement. Being shy about her body had always been a foreign concept to her.

"You are very mean," she remarked, putting on tight black pants that outlined her curves beautifully.

"And you are very fucked," Black Bitch levelly shot back.

Lee snorted in reply.

After she finished dressing, Black Bitch yanked her arms behind her back and cuffed the girl, using more force than was strictly necessary.

McCoy gritted his teeth but didn't comment on it.

"I'm her doctor. I have the right to be present at her interrogation," he said instead, ready to fight for this right with all the rules he knew.

Black Bitch gave him a smile that he didn't like at all.

"Of course, Doctor. In fact, Admiral requested your presence. You will oversee the interrogation in the observation room."

McCoy blinked in surprise. It was unexpected, but maybe Archer didn't want his prey to die before the man finished with her?

Black Bitch gestured at the door and Lee was led out of the room. All phasers were on her instantly. The black officers formed a tight circle of bodies blocking Lee completely from the rest of the world.

"Get going," Black Bitch pulled out her phaser too and poked in Lee's back.

The girl complied, and everyone mirrored her motions, moving backwards, their faces fixed at her. She gave them an amused smirk.

"For the love of… You do realize we won't fit the lift, don't you?"

It earned her a rather violent shove in her back.

"Don't get smart with me. Just do what you're told."

Lee rolled her eyes dramatically, but stopped talking and marched out of sickbay. McCoy followed them, not meeting the eyes of his colleagues.

* * *

Five minutes later McCoy was watching Lee through a one-sided transparent glass that separated the interrogation room from the observation room.

Her arms were handcuffed in an uncomfortable angle, but she looked as nonchalant and relaxed as ever, leaning heavily at the back of the chair and slouching slightly. A polite blank expression was set firmly on her face.

Jim and Spock stood next to McCoy, their emotions in check. Still, the advantage of knowing them both gave McCoy an understanding that Spock was still shaken from what he'd seen in Lee's mind and that Jim was pissed off like hell. McCoy himself didn't bother to hide his ire.

On the other side of the glass, Archer sat in front of Lee and gave her a curious look.

The damn Federation hero had indeed graced the Enterprise with his presence.

"I always wondered," were his first words to her, "What does the Fox look like. I pictured some cunning-looking woman, or maybe some grim-looking man with a big impressive scar all over their face. Never in the world, did I picture a small kid like you. You were a teenager at the time of most of your crimes, weren't you?"

"I'm sorry, Admiral, but I fail to understand your point here," Lee's voice was neutral, the one she pulled when the situation was exceptionally shitty, "What exactly are your charges against me? As far as I know, I've done nothing wrong. Old buddies, me and the law we are."

Archer's eyes shone with something that looked suspiciously like glee.

"I see you are inclined to deny everything. Did you forget about your accomplices in the brig? They told us what we needed to know."

Her face stayed calm.

"They are not my accomplices. I lured them here to save people who helped me. I've never seen any of them before. There can't be a thing they told you to blame anything on me."

Admiral huffed.

"You really know your friends, I give you that. The Klingons just growl and the others are apparently too afraid of you to say anything. You are very good, Miss O'Malley. But you are forgetting you broke into the Federation classified archive."

"I was just playing the role. If those are your charges, I'd like to remind you that this crime, with mitigating circumstances which I believe I have, is subject to a suspended sentence. With a good lawyer, the charges can even be dropped. What crimes are you talking about?"

It had never occurred to McCoy that they had nothing against her. She could refuse everything and they wouldn't be able to prove it a lie. He wondered how Archer would solve that dilemma. The man definitely didn't look upset.

"About these," Archer slid a PADD over to Lee, and she leaned forward to look at it.

It should have been a hell of an interesting reading because she was scanning it for a whole minute; a time far longer than she usually took to study one single page.

"Impressive," she said finally, leaning back again, "The person responsible for these crimes must be some serious guy you probably can't catch. Decided to give up, find a scapegoat and charge them of all these things, huh? Well, it won't work on me."

Archer seemed exceptionally pleased with himself.

"You see, Miss O'Malley, I think it will. And I think at the end of our discussion you will confess to committing all these crimes, sign on the bottom of this document admitting yourself guilty and then come with us to stand public trial."

She arched an eyebrow.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you will see this."

Archer retrieved another PADD and showed it to her.

She was looking at it even longer. Her face didn't change but McCoy noticed her eyes going darker. She was getting angry, and he wondered if Archer saw it too.

"What's that?" she demanded.

Archer gave her an honest to God beam. McCoy couldn't see the Admiral's endgame, but he started to believe he wouldn't like it.

"You see, we indeed can't charge you of anything important. We have no evidence against you aside from this flawless hacking that you can claim anyone can do. The prisoners in the brig won't talk; your reputation keeps you safe here. So yes, we have nothing against you," Archer explained, "However, Doctor McCoy's situation is different. He's a Starfleet officer. He has regulations he is obliged to follow. He failed to follow them. He sided with an assumed criminal and violated the law. He probably won't end up in prison, but he will be stripped of his rank and kicked out of Starfleet should we proceed with our charges.

This is the order for his arrest signed by the President. We don't have any evidence against you, but we have plenty of evidence against him. So one way or another, there will be a public trial. The question is who would be the accused. If you don't admit your crimes, he will pay for helping you."

McCoy stared at the Admiral in shock. His hearing must have been deceiving him. They couldn't use him against her, right?

In the other room, Lee frowned slightly, still perfectly composed.

"I'm not an expert, but isn't it a slightly non-balanced exchange? He'd only lose his position, but the person signing this," she nodded at the first PADD, "Would lose their lives. The Federation doesn't usually sentence to death, but there were some cases, and I believe you want this case to be another precedent. As for the Doctor, he may lose his rank, and that's very unfortunate; he's a good man and doesn't deserve it. But I'm not signing this bullshit, thank you very much. I like being alive, you know."

"You think it's a bluff, don't you?" Archer smirked, "Have a look at this."

He tapped something at the second PADD and showed her.

She looked.

When she raised her head, her eyes lost their green color completely.

"What is that?" she asked in a soft, quiet voice that made McCoy shudder. She rarely spoke like this, but when she did, someone started to regret every decision that led them to confront her.

"It's evidence that you and the Doctor are having a rather emotional affair."

"What?" McCoy exclaimed and turned to Jim, "What the hell is he talking about?"

Jim didn't meet his eyes.

"Just keep watching."

"It's a fake," Lee asserted on the other side of the glass. Archer gave her a smile of a person who had the situation under his full control.

"Do you deny that you and McCoy are in a relationship?"

"Of course I do."

"Well, nobody's going to believe you. When I press this button, all major Federation media will receive these photos. He's rather famous; they won't miss such a scandal. It will also be the end of his medical career as having an affair with his patient is strictly prohibited by every medical code of conduct."

Lee tilted her head, still holding on her emotionless facade. Her eyes were pitch-black. McCoy could bet she was a fraction away from murdering the man in front of her, all handcuffs in the world be damned.

McCoy himself was clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to maintain the last shreds of his self-control. Starfleet's betrayal was so enormous he couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. He understood Archer's plan now, and he couldn't believe this decorated war hero, one of the Federation's founders, was using such a blunt and dirty move to get what he wanted.

"Is the Admiral bluffing?" Spock asked with a barely restrained rage in his voice.

"No," was Jim's reply, "They have pictures of Lee and Bones in rather compromising positions."

"But we didn't do anything!" McCoy protested.

His office didn't have camera surveillance and in public, the most intimate moments that they'd had were holding hands. There was no way Starfleet had anything against them.

"They can beam aboard a starship parsecs away from Earth," Jim hissed, "You think they can't fake a couple of compromising photos?"

On the other side, Lee was silent. Archer gave up on getting a response and continued.

"I press this button, and everything's becoming public. Your doctor will find himself in the center of the biggest scandal of the last years. He might be a hero, but people like watching overthrowing heroes as much as they like worshipping them. You may look like you don't give a damn, and your self-control is perfect, but I believe you care about the Doctor. I saw the feeds of your fight on the bridge. You sacrificed yourself to save him," Archer leaned forward a little, looking straight into her eyes, "You've never done that before. You left your accomplices, you killed them, but you've never ever tried to save them. I know you care. So if you're not cooperating, he's in trouble. All of this because of you."

McCoy felt like exploding.

How could they?

He was a good doctor. He served Starfleet well. He saved the lives of many people, and some of these people were the ones who saved billions of other lives. He didn't deserve it.

Archer was going on.

"I believe you understand more or less what a person the man in question is. He is a doctor by calling, not just by profession. What happens if we take not only his rank but also his life purpose from him? He will face a court-martial and lose his medical license. He won't be able to practice medicine in any world related to the Federation. So tell me, Eileen, shall I press this button?"

"Can we do anything?" Spock asked.

"No," Jim replied, his eyes fixed on Lee, "They want her badly. He wouldn't even listen to me."

In the interrogation room, Lee finally spoke, still presenting a relaxed appearance to the world.

"This is the most insane bluff I've ever heard. Are you serious in believing I would buy you sacrificing one of your best assets to achieve what exactly? Going through with your threats only harms you, not the criminal you want to abduct. You're telling me that even AFTER the criminal doesn't admit their crimes, you're going to harm your organization even more by court-martialing McCoy. You'd end up without the criminal AND without one of the best Doctors that have ever walked the world. And for what? To piss off said criminal? It's just stupid, even for the brass like you."

Archer grinned. Holy hell, the motherfucker actually grinned at her.

"Your words would make perfect sense should the situation be different. But it isn't, Eileen. You care about McCoy and you are also one of the most dangerous criminals we have ever encountered. We are this close to making you answer for your crimes. So if all we can do is to piss you off by disgracing him, we'll do it. You are more dangerous than he's useful," Archer dropped his sneer and went deadly serious, "Quit your pretending. I'm giving you a one-time offer now. You sign this, or I send the photos to the media and McCoy's career is over. The choice is yours."

McCoy squeezed his eyes shut and prayed to God all of it being one hideous nightmare.

It couldn't be real. He realized of course that Starfleet wasn't above such a low blow, but he could never imagine this kind of blow being directed at him.

He opened his eyes. Nope, the nightmare was still there, so he probably wasn't dreaming.

Unfortunately.

He studied Lee's completely still form warily. The most logical option for her was to tell Archer to get fucked. Obviously, it was the lesser evil. It would cost McCoy his career, but at least she'd still be alive and free. Maybe they would be able to start a new life somewhere in a different world. Maybe he'd even be able to see his daughter from time to time.

Then it hit him.

Joanna.

Jocelyn would never let him see her again should Archer throw him into this scandal of the century.

He'd never see his little princess.

He realized he was starting to panic and tried several deep calming breaths. They didn't help, but the situation on the other side of the glass changed, and all thoughts about his daughter left his head as he heard a soft click. Lee's handcuffs fell on the floor. There was a phaser in her hand now, set to kill.

Everyone froze.

"Captain?" Spock had his phaser out, his hand on the door.

"Stand down," Jim ordered firmly without tearing his eyes away from the scene, "Let them finish."

"You are a very brave man, Admiral," Lee gently said, "To walk in a room with a person you believe did all these things, walk in alone and threaten the man who the criminal presumably cares about, and hope to leave this room alive. I'm impressed."

Despite the phaser pointed at his face, Archer was smirking.

"The risk was worth it, Fox. At least now I know we're right. And I'm still sure you'll sign this."

She tilted her head.

"Why's that?"

"You are not exactly a talkative type. If you were going to run, you'd do it already. If you were going to kill me, I'd be already dead. You're still here, and I'm still alive, so I assume you are amenable to negotiation."

She laughed, loudly and darkly.

"You Federation scum," she spat, "You have a thing for public executions, don't you? You could just kill me, but no, you wanted to march me to the gallows for the whole world to see your strength and glory. You don't want to just end it, you want a show," she added several words in a language McCoy didn't understand, Klingon by the sound of it. Most likely curses.

"We just want you to face the consequences of your actions. We're not murderers. We…"

She interrupted him with a laugh that sounded outright lunatic.

"Not murderers… You are killing people on a daily basis. The only difference between you and me is that you call it politics and proclaim it to be the law. You are ready to sacrifice an innocent man to get what you want without batting an eyelid. You can think whatever you please, but facts say you are no better than me."

Archer opened his mouth, but she cut him off with a wave of her hand.

"Save it. I know you're not bluffing. I see it from your body language and I see that the order is not a fake. I'm not really surprised you decided to go for it though. Only the cowards like your lot would come up with something like this. So I believe you'll make the Doctor suffer if I don't admit these crimes," she cocked her head to another side, "I believe you," she repeated and took the phaser from her right hand to her left, leaning on the left arm of the chair.

"I was wondering why you came here yourself," she continued, abandoning her indifferent mask completely and smiling like a madman, "People like you don't do fieldwork. They sit in their posh offices and sign death sentences for other people to carry them out. They don't risk their lives interrogating dangerous criminals."

She bent slightly forward.

"But then I remembered Dean May was your friend."

Archer's body tensed.

McCoy frowned. The name rang a bell, but he couldn't tell where he'd heard it before.

"Yes," Lee cooed, now looking positively insane, "Not the closest you had, but you valued him. And I killed him."

The gentleness of her voice was eerie, and it was exactly the thing that usually scared the living shit out of McCoy. Not the menace of heavily armed black officers, but the quiet gentleness of a fragile woman.

A fragile woman who had her back up against the wall.

A fragile woman who was known for killing one and a half thousand people.

Archer stopped being smug and glared at Lee. The vein on his temple was pulsating violently.

"Oh, he screamed so loudly," Lee murmured and the penny finally dropped. McCoy shut his eyes tight for a moment, banishing away growing nausea.

He remembered now. It was the first name on Lee's list of victims from the 'Tortures' section. The skinned alive man.

"He told me everything I needed in the first five minutes," she purred, "You'd be surprised how easy it was to break him. A strong, fearless man, and I brought him into submission in five short minutes…" she chuckled at Archer's very visible shudder, "I could have let him go. But you rarely have an opportunity to practice, you know."

Archer growled and lurched at her. She stuck her phaser out and he dropped back on his seat, his eyes blazing with rage.

"No need to react like this, Admiral. I'm just trying to make a point, that's all."

She fell into her previous relaxed stance again.

"My point is, being skinned alive is not the best death one might have. But," Lee raised one finger to emphasize her words, "It's not the worst either. And now I want you to listen to me very carefully, Admiral."

She held on the phaser tighter and straightened in her seat.

"If you ever harm the Doctor in any way, I'll show you what can be worse than May's fate."

"My death won't change anything," Archer snarled, "If you don't sign the paper, McCoy will suffer."

"I know," she said mildly and reached for the first PADD, "But unlike you, I have some honor and dignity in me. I don't betray people who helped me."

She scrolled the page on the PADD down, where the place for a signature was.

"You'll leave the Doc alone. You delete this stupid stuff from everywhere and you won't raise any charges against him. No demotion, no court-martial, no media, you hear me?"

"We don't need McCoy, you bitch," Archer hissed, "We need you. Sign the damn thing, and we'll let him be."

"Of course you will. Because if you don't, Dean May's death would seem very fast, very easy and very desirable for you. Should I know you fail to fulfill your promise, I'll come after you personally, and then you'll regret you've ever been born. Don't consider it a threat, Admiral. Consider it a promise."

She unclenched her fingers and let the phaser fall to the ground. The clang of the dropped weapon added the finality to her action, and before McCoy could do anything to stop her, she signed her death sentence willingly.


End file.
